Genesis According To The Gospel of CMC

[thedrifter]

In the beginning there was the Word! And the word was GOD! And all else was darkness and void and without form. So God created the Heavens and the Earth. He created the sun and the moon and the stars so that light might pierce the darkness. The Earth God divided between the land and the sea and these he filled with many assorted creatures. And the dark, salty, slimy creatures that inhabited the murky depths of the ocean, God called sailors And He dressed them accordingly with little trousers that looked like bells at the bottom with cute little flaps on their shirts to hide hickies on their necks. He also gave them long sideburns and shabby looking beards. God nicknamed them "Squids" and banished them to a lifetime at sea, so normal folks would not have to associate with them. To further identify these unloved creatures, He called them petty and commodores instead of titles worthy of red-blooded men. And the flighty creatures of the land God called soldiers, and with a twinkle in His eye, and a sense of humor that only God can have, God made them trousers that were too short and covers too large and pockets to keep their hands warm. And to adorn their uniforms God gave them badges in quantity that only a dime store owner could appreciate. Then He gave them emblems and crests and all sorts of shiny things that glittered and devices that dangled. (When you are GOD you get carried away in a big way). On the 5th day He thought about creating some air creatures, so He designed a Greyhound bus drivers uniform especially for flyboys, but He discarded the idea during the first week and it was not until years later that some apostle "resurrected" this theme and established what we now know as the wild blue yonder wonders or "zoomies." On the 7th day as you know, God rested. On the 8th day at exactly 0730 God looked down upon the Earth and was not happy. God was NOT happy! So He thought and thought about His labors, and in His infinite wisdom God created a divine creature and this He called Marine. And these Marines whom God created in His own Image were to be of the air and of the land and of the sea. And these He gave many wonderful uniforms. Some were green; some were blue with red trim, and in the early days some were even a beautiful tan. He gave them practical fighting uniforms, "utilities", so that they could wage war against the forces of Satan and evil. He gave them service uniforms for their daily work and training that they might be sharp and ready, and He gave them evening and dress uniforms stylish and handsome things so they might promenade with their ladies on Saturday night and impress the **** out of everybody! He even gave them swords so the people who were not impressed could be dealt with severely. And at the end of the 8th day God looked down upon the Earth and saw it was good. But was God happy? No, God was not happy!!!! Because in the course of His labors He had forgotten one thing. He did not have a Marine uniform Himself!!! But, He thought about it and thought about it and finally satisfied Himself in knowing that well. Not everyone can be a MARINE.

Sempers,

Roger