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Old 11-05-2016, 11:13 AM
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Boats Boats is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 15,828
Red face When You Are Over Seventy (70+)

When You Are Over Seventy (70+)

1. I was standing at the bar one night minding my own business. This FAT, ugly chick
came up behind me, grabbed my behind and said, “You’re kind’a cute. You gotta phone

I said, “Yeah, you gotta pen?”
She said, “Yeah, I got a pen”.
I said, “You better get back in it before the farmer misses you.”

It cost me 6 stitches, but, when you’re over seventy……………who cares?


2. Cowboy: “Give me 3 packets of condoms, please.”
Lady Cashier: “Do you need a paper bag with that, sir?”
Cowboy: “Nah… She’s purty good lookin’…..”

Note when you’re over seventy……………who cares?


3. I was talking to a young woman in the bar last night.
She said, “If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut, you’d look all
I said, “If I did that, I’d be talking to your friends over there instead of you.”

It cost me a fat lip, but when you’re over seventy……………who cares?


4. I got caught taking a pee in the swimming pool today. The lifeguard shouted at me so
loud, I nearly fell in.

Cost me a bloody nose, but when you’re over seventy……………who cares?


5. I went to the pub last night and saw a BIG woman dancing on a table.
I said, “Good legs.”
The girl giggled and said, “Do you really think so?”
I said, “Definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now.”

Cost me 6 more stitches, but when you’re over seventy……………who cares?

O Almighty Lord God, who neither slumberest nor sleepest; Protect and assist, we beseech thee, all those who at home or abroad, by land, by sea, or in the air, are serving this country, that they, being armed with thy defence, may be preserved evermore in all perils; and being filled with wisdom and girded with strength, may do their duty to thy honour and glory; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

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Old 11-15-2016, 10:59 AM
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reconeil reconeil is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Avenel, New Jersey
Posts: 5,963

Even though way over 70 and thoroughly enjoying the email passing along, I agree with the recommendation of not buying that stain remover.

"​Stain remover"

" I watched this video for 10 minutes and the stain was still there so I
will not recommend this product, don't buy it!"

Isn't it enjoyable?

My Salute & "GarryOwen" to all TRUE Patriots.
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