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#1
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Running Cadence (rated R)
Irene
Irene's her name She's one of the best. So every night I give her the test. She looks so pretty. So sleek, so slim. The moon is bright the lights are dim. I've seen her stripped. I've seen her bare, I've felt her over everywhere. I handled her just as gentle as I could. And when I got in her I knew she was good. I rolled her over on her side Then on her back I also tried. She's just one big thrill the best in the land. She's an F-16 in the Air Combat Command. I wish all the ladies I wish, I wish, I wish all the ladies Were bells on a tower And I was the bellboy I'd bang 'em by the hour I wish, I wish, I wish all the ladies Were pies on a shelf And I was the baker I'd eat 'em all myself I wish, I wish, I wish all the ladies Were holes on a road And I was the dumptruck I'd fill 'em with my load I wish, I wish, I wish all the ladies Were bricks in a pile And I was the mason I'd lay 'em all like tile Note: These lyrics may also be used as a chorus. I said hey pass the reefer! I said hey bobba-reeba! A left-right a left-right A left right you're outta sight! McDonalds Psycho Going to McDonalds. To get a coke and fry, That's when the psycho caught me by surprise. People started running, heading for the door. That's when the psycho shot at twenty more. Ronald McDonald looking at the dead. That's when the psycho shot him in the head. Next time I'm hungry. I'll do the right thing, and take my business, on to Burger King. Alternate: Joe was eating some golden fries. He caught a round right in the eyes. Joe was eating some golden fries. He caught a round right in the eyes. A wop-wop way-o! A yip-yip yeah! A wop-wop way-o! A yip-yip yeah! Jill was drinking a chocolate shake. She caught a round right in the neck. Jill was drinking a chocolate shake. She caught a round right in the neck. A wop-wop way-o! A yip-yip yeah! A wop-wop way-o! A yip-yip yeah! James was eating a Big Mac He caught a round right in the back. James was eating a Big Mac He caught a round right in the back. Sally Brown There was a girl called Sally Brown Said no man could lay her down. Then over the hill came perfect Pete He was 50 pounds of swingin' meat. He lay Sally down in the grass And shoved his dick up her ass. Sally let out a ripper fart Blew Pete's balls 20 feet apart. Over that hill went Perfect Pete's 50 pounds of damaged meat. Three German Soldiers Note: Sung to the tune of "When Johnny comes marching home" Three German soldiers crossed the line taboo taboo Three German soldiers crossed the line taboo taboo Three German soldiers crossed the line they raped the women and drank the wine and they all said zeich hile tickle my ass taboo They came upon a way side inn taboo taboo They came upon a way side inn taboo taboo They came upon a way side inn the door was locked so they kicked it in and they all said zeich hile tickle my ass taboo The inn keeper had a daughter fair taboo taboo The inn keeper had a daughter fair taboo taboo The inn keeper had a daughter fair With long blond hair And Tits to There and they all said zeich hile tickle my ass taboo They tied her to a feather bed taboo taboo They tied her to a feather bed taboo taboo They tied her to a feather bed and fucked till she was almost dead and they all said zeich hile tickle my ass taboo The inn keeper was so ashamed taboo taboo The inn keeper was so ashamed taboo taboo The inn keeper was so ashamed he fucked her back to life again and they all said zeich hile tickle my ass taboo The inn keeper had a trusty gun taboo taboo The inn keeper had a trusty gun taboo taboo The inn keeper had a trusty gun he shot the fuckers one by one and they all said zeich hile tickle my ass taboo Three German soldiers marched to hell taboo taboo Three German soldiers marched to hell taboo taboo Three German soldiers marched to hell they fuck the devil and his wife as well and they all said zeich hile tickle my ass taboo The moral of the story is taboo taboo The moral of the story is taboo taboo The moral of the story is you never fuck in a feather bed and they all said zeich hile tickle my ass taboo The moral of the moral is taboo taboo The moral of the moral is taboo taboo The moral of the moral is you always fuck in a water bed and they all said zeich hile tickle my as taboo The Germans thought they won the war taboo taboo The Germans thought they won the war taboo taboo The Germans thought they won the war the newfies won it the day before and they all said zeich hile tickle my ass taboo! And they all said zeich hiel tickle my ass taboo. Walking Down My Street Walking down my street knocking on every door God damn son of a bitch I couldn't find the whore Finnaly found the whore she was tall and thin God damn son of a bitch I couldn't get it in Finnaly got it in swished it all about, God damn son of a bitch I couldn't get it out Finnaly got it out it was red and sore, God damn son of a bitch I finnaly fucked the whore The moral of the story when knocking on every door God damn son of a bitch never fuck the whore A Yellow Bird A little bird with a little beak was sitten on my toliet seat I pushed him in I flushed him down I watched his ass go round and round A Yellow bird a yellow bill was sitten on my window sill I lured him in with a piece of bread then I smashed his yellow head A bigger bird with a bigger bill was sitten on my window sill I lured him in with a piece of bread then I smashed his bigger head The docter came to check their heads he said for sure these birds arnt dead Oh me Oh my I'm such a clutz I missed their heads and crushed their nuts The morale of this story is if ya cant get head really loud use your bread! Or you can say ... and then I kissed his little head. The moral of the story is clear. If you kiss a bird you're probably queer. Or... The moral of the story is to get some head you need some bread! A Night in the Ville Went to Kinville with Smitty and Will To spend some money and get some thrills Walked in the door and before I could blink Some liittle lady said "BUY ME A DRINK" Was a crazy sight ,thought I'd seen it all There were women crawliin' from wall to wall I reached in my pocket for a dollar twenty-four She said to buy my drink you gotta pay 10 more I said are you playing some kinda joke? It's only two-fifty for a rum and coke! She said "i'm kinda' lonely and I need a date Ten bucks a drink is the going rate. I put my cash away and I started to go Cause Willie D. said "Let a ho be a ho" I felt a little sorry for the bar girl troupe Did'nt know they'd take my ass to the hoop! Bought the girl a drink and I knew I was doomed, Ten horny squids sat across the room. Paid the bar fine and I grbbed her tit, She said buy me some dinner, and I'll luv' ya no shit! Stopped for Yakisoba then she said to me Drive me to the alley cause I've got to pee She walked down the alley and I leaned against the car Then I was attacked by the squids from the bar! Swung my tow chain and I tied em' in knots, The girl was pissin' but she never did squat, Looked a little closer and I knew I'd be sick, The girl didn't squat because she had a dick! She said "come with me and we'll make the time pass, I said " you need a lift , shove a jack up your ass!" Pulled out her pistol said "You're gonna be a ghost", I shot my flame thrower and I turned her to toast! Smitty grabbed the pistol and Will just ran, Just another day in the "Land of the Hand" Roll me over, in the clover. Lay your body next to mine, roll it on down the line! So I gave her inches 1. She said baby you'er the one! Roll me over, in the clover. Lay your body next to mine, roll it on down the line. Do I gave her inches 2 She said u-wi-u-wi-u! Roll me over, in the clover. Lay your body next to mine, roll it on down the line. So I gave her inches 3, She said baby that's for me! Roll me over, in the clover. Lay your body next to mine, Roll it on down the line. So I gave her inches 4. She said baby give me more! Roll me over, in the clover. Lay your body next to mine roll it on down the line. So I gave her inches 5. She said baby I'm alive! Roll me over in the clover. Lay your body next to mine. Roll it on down the line. So I gave her inches 6, She said baby that's for kicks. Roll me over, in the clover. Lay your body next to mine, roll it on down the line. So I gave her inches 7, She said baby I'm in heaven. Roll me over, in the clover. Lay your body next to mine, Roll it on down the line. So I gave her inches 8, She said baby that was great. Roll me over, in the clover. Lay your body next to mine. Roll it on down the line. So I gave her inches 9. She said baby you look fine. Roll me over, in the clover. Lay your body next to mine. Roll it on down the line. Mrs. O'Malley O' Mrs. O'Malley won't you come quick Watch an Irishman play with his dick It's as long as your arm and round as your wrist there's a knob on the end as big as your fist Up Jumped a Monkey Up jumped the monkey from the coconut grove he was a mean mother fucker, you could tell by his clothes. He wore a two button ditty,and a three button stitch he was a loud mouth-mother fuckin,son of a bitch! He lined a hundred women, up against the wall and bet anyone, he could fuck them all. He fucked 98 till his balls turn blue, Then he backed off, jacked off, and fucked the other two!!! Note: you can also sing this version Airborne Ranger was a hell of a man! Walked through the bar with his cock in his hand! Shit on the table and pissed on the floor. Then wiped his ass with a "44." Lined a hundred women up against the wall. Bet a hundred bucks he could fuck them all. Fucked 98 till his cock turned blue. Up-chucked, jammed up, fucked the other two. When he died he went to hell. Fucked the devil's wife and his daughter as well. On his grave stone it read in green: Here lies a human FUCKING MACHINE |
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#2
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She was ridein down the highway
Doin ninety miles an hour When the chain on her motorcycle broke. An they found her in the grass With the tailpipe up her ass An her titties playin Dixie on the spokes. |
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