Why Vietnam Still Matters, By Janice A Nark

Why Vietnam Still Matters, By Janice A Nark

On Vets Day 1994, I participated in a panel discussion at a local
community college. 4 soldiers and I, the nurse all Vietnam vets - came
to tell our stories. The audience was as diverse in their occupations
as in their ages, which spanned about 7 decades. As diverse as, I
suppose, their reasons for coming to hear us speak, to learn about
Vietnam.

I still hadn't gotten over the notion of people wanting to know about
the war, since for almost 20 years no one asked, and I certainly
didn't tell. But here we were and each in turn shared our stories,
some for the first time. This was not a rehearsed group and there was
a lot of emotion and spontaneous tears; stories of bravery and
cowardice, of anger and fear, and enduring sadness.

I spoke briefly of my tour of duty, my years of silence, and about the
Wall and how it helped me come to peace with my memories. At the
conclusion of the discussion, a teenage girl came up to me and said,
"When I went to the Wall, I was just overwhelmed. I cried and cried,
and I don't know why I have no right."

I have no right. How many times I've thought that, heard it, read it,
said in I'm alive, they're dead... I couldn't get to him... if only...
I didn't suffer... I didn't do enough... one had to do it... I wasn't
old enough to go... I protested the war.

"I have no right," she said, in essence, I'm not entitled to these
feelings. Ah, the post-war guilt reaches out to those who hadn't even
been born yet. I smiled into those young eyes, and there was so much I
wanted to say. "Of course, you have the right. The Vietnam Vets
Memorial is an extraordinarily powerful monument. It's physically
powerful. Walking the length of all those names inscribed in granite,
that carry you down into the earth and back again. It is a physical
journey that touches every fiber of your body. It's psychologically
powerful. Emotions are readily transferable from person to person. You
were experiencing all the feelings that were present: The pain, grief,
anger, sadness and despair of the men and women who served, of those
who didn't, of those who loved, of those who lost, of the one's who
lived, and of the one's who died; all the emotions of those who have
questions still unanswered, and of those to whom the truth is all too
evident. It is a healing ground for those who have come together
there. It is a respite from the real world for Pose who are forever
torn apart. Understand that you cried for all of them because you felt
their pain. You are a daughter of America. I pray your generation will
find a path towards peace instead of war. I hope you never have to
know personally what the Wall represents to the millions of Americans
who lived its mission."

I wanted to say all that and so much more. But all I think I could
manage was to touch her arm and say, "It's a very emotional place, and
you have every right to cry."

Janice A Nark served as a nurse in Vietnam in 1970-71. She is now a
certified ski instructor, entrepreneur and motivational speaker whose
sense of humor has sustained her and continues to carry audiences
along on enlightening, educational and entertaining journeys.

To comment on this reflection, or to express your thoughts on
how you felt about the war, homecoming, or America's feelings toward
the war or its veterans, please leave your thoughts at URL:

http://home.pacbell.net/veterans/mythoughts.htm

Reprinted by special permission from the book: "Why Vietnam Still
Matters"" The War and The Wall", compiled by Jan C. Scruggs.
You can contact the Vietnam Veterans Memorial Fund via:

VVMF, 815 15th St, NW, Suite 600, Washington DC 20005
(202) 393-0090, Fax (202) 393-0029
Or, its WWWsite at URL:

http://www.vvmf.org

---------------------------
Otis Willie
Associate Librarian
The American War Library
http://www.americanwarlibrary.com