What Pilots Can Do by John Burnett

[David]

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Registered to :Aug 21, 2001
Messages :1033
From :OKLAHOMA
Posted 03-10-2001 at 01:09
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What Pilots Can Do

My name is John Burnett. I am a DC-10 Captain for FedEx. I am also Police
Officer for the Memphis Police Department.

I would suggest that you make the conscious decision to kill anyone who
tries to take your airplane from you. Today we are at war. The hijacker who
comes through your cockpit door is going to kill you and everyone onboard.

So, how do you do that? What weapons are available to us aspilots?
The intercom. Command that all men come forward and fight with the
hijackers.

You have many able-bodied men onboard. They are sitting in shock not
knowing what to do. Command they come forward and help you kill your
attackers. And, they will come.

The airplane itself. Get the hijackers off their feet. Go into an
immediate dive to float them to the ceiling. Then execute a 6G
positivemaneuver and hope they hit their head or break their back as they hit
the floor, galley shelf, etc. Dump the cabin -- maybe one of the
hijackers has a head cold. Pull the fire handles, shut the start levers and
turn the fuel valves off. If you lose the battle, at least the airplane
won't be used as a guided missile on a kamikaze mission. With luck, maybe
these guys didn't learn how to do an in-flight restart.

Then leave the cockpit - all of you, and kill your attackers - don't believe
it when they surrender - don't be nice to them - KILL THEM.

Flare Gun If your airplane has one, the Captain might consider making sure
it's loaded and secured next to his bag. I can think of nothing more
satisfying than watching a ball of burning phosphorous embedded into a
fanatic's gut, burning its way through him.

The crash-axe. I would suggest you have your copilot takeit from its holder
and secure it next to him so he has it immediately available. Makes an
excellent skull crusher.

Your flashlight. The FAA used to require a 2 cell. A 3 cell Mag-Light
makes an excellent weapon. If your maneuvers have the hijackers on the floor
writhing in pain, crush their skulls with it.

Your lifted hotel bic pen. Drive it into an attacker's eye, ear, throat, or
into the area just under the jaw bone. That's a particular interesting place
to drive it, because when he opens his mouth to scream, you can read "Hyatt"
sticking there.

Your hand and fingers. Drive your fingers into his eyes and try to feel your
fingernails scrape the back of his eye sockets. Scoop theeyeballs out. It
will confuse the hell out of him when he finds himself looking at his shoes
as they dangle there on the ocular nerves.

Your teeth. Remember Hannibal Lecter. Eat a nose, a cheek, or a finger.
And keep eating. Attack with all viciousness. A piranha is a small fish,
but it's greatly feared. A hijacker is not expecting you to eat him and it
might make him forget why he got on your airplane to begin with. It will, at
least, impress his buddies.

Now here's my wish-list of things the FAA could do to help, especially in
this time of war.

Arm the Captain. The battle is not going to require any long shots and a
small revolver would be a good choice. It would hold off the attackers long
enough for you to disable your aircraft. If the attackers claimed the red
package they were holding was a bomb, I'd shoot out the door glass and hope
the door would be ripped out and the hijacker and his package would be sucked
out. And hey, if I got sucked out with him, I'd try to fly myself to the
hijacker, look in his face and laugh at him all the way to the ground.

Invite the local Police to jumpseat. Police are always looking for
something free. Donut shops used to be a favorite target for robbers --
until they started giving donuts to the Police. Robbers don't rob donut
shops anymore. I would suggest each Police Department send the FAA a list of
the best shots on the department and those guys and their guns would be
welcome on my airplane. Fill every vacant seat with armed Police -- give
them a donut -- and tell them to shoot anyone who gives your Flight Attendant
any shit.

Stop this silly no-knife rule. Make it public. Tell the public they're
welcome to bring their pocket knives onboard. Then everyone will bring them.
When you make your intercom call for help, you'll have a dozen or more knife
wielding helpers trying to make sure their new Gerber tastes fanatics blood.
There are even a few of them who'd want to keep ears as
souvenirs.

Law enforcement agencies are all aware there are copycat criminals and
fanatics.

None of us is immune. Take some time and consider your actions if this
event should ever happen to you.

My prayer is none of you ever have to face this kind of decision.

Best of luck to you, and may God Bless."