NPR program about PTSD

[onesix]

Outstanding job on describing PTSD. I hope you don't mind if I make one minor correction.

In normal PTSD, there is usually only one traumatic occurrance (you mention the "event"). In combat trauma, there is usually more than one event. I would say there are many, many eventS that must be dealt with. In my opinion, that is what makes treating combat trauma so much more difficult than say, an auto crash survivor.

[MORTARDUDE]

onesix :

Good point. Not only does combat present a bewildering array of traumatic situations, if treatment is done in the private arena many times those who you deal with have little if any concept of the military or combat. They tend to deal with it as any other single traumatic event, and lump the whole year into one event. I have gotten into some heated arguments with therapists and social workers about this. It wasn't their fault. They didn't have any experience in that field and were doing the best job they could, but just caused me nothing but frustration.

Larry

[1CAVCCO15MED]

One thing on this one incident versus many. This doesn't necessarily correlate with severity of PTSD. Victims of rape or someone seeing their whole family killed can definitely have severe PTSD. The differences are in source not intensity between the two.

[Boats]

CavMed - good point and well said.

[Arrow]

Thanks for the correction one six and you are absolutely correct...I got the description from a website and copied and pasted it here sometime in the wee hours of the morning.

I don't really like list and I'm the first to agree from experiencetrying to wrap PTSD in a neat package with a bow on top is just an impossible task.

Peace....

[MORTARDUDE]

Thought I would put this back to the top...it still amazes me how Vietnam Veterans got PTSD recognized....I got my letter today.....things are moving very fast...I am appreciative..

Larry

[Stick]

Last night we closed the store at the normal time and came home for dinner. Turned on the tube and a movie was on which showed a hostage situation with the hostages wrapped with explosives and one hostage was released and went outside to the awaiting army of 'peace officers.'
She blew up.
Red mist. Flash back.
I went to bed crying. Took my drugs at 3 a.m. after the first nightmare. Don't mean nuthin.

[exlrrp]

Originally posted by ArtySgt Paco, thanks for the information. You do us a lot of good and I appreciate it.

Yr dam right!! Thanks a lot, Packo!!!

I had my whole thing about PTSD, including denial. It all ties together now but putting the pieces together, connecting the dots about it, has taken a lot of time for me, work still in progress.
I denied I had it for decades but methinks he doth protest too much. If its a normal reaction to horrific events, how could I NOT have it? And what exactly IS the "normal" reaction to horrific events, anyway?
It was all tied up with my idea of manhood--what a man should be able to take and how he should perceive it. This is where John Wayne was a horrible role model (plus he never got laid on screen) The Duke would just shrug off such lilylivered ruminations but the Duke never got closer to combat than Ft Hollywood. Thats why I always wanted to kick his ass, to show him what combat really looked like.
A lot of it was bout just trying to figure out what I really HAD done. They called it one thing (fighting for freedom) but it sure looked like something else (blowing the sht out of anything that was still moving) I left Vietnam possibly more ignorant than when I went, if that was possible. I definitaly only got the worms eye view. It tooki me decades just to sort out the politics of it, its why I pursued a degree in history for 17 years (I'm a slow learner) It was such a desperate situation, where I saw myself doing so many bizarre out of this world things that I was inclined to view the thing as a win just for having survived it. On a personal basis I still do.
And most of all, I was fighting a huge desire just to forget the whole fcking thing--My lai made this stronger.

But I knew I was always different from everybody else and sharing with all you guys on the net only confirms it. I can't even really start to talk about what ails me beacuse then someone will start claiming its just bloody bragging. Sometimes my stories ARE bloody bragging, I mean what else could they be? I was an Airborne Ranger, aka lrrp--All I can say, is: What They Did, I guess.
I stabbed a sleeping, unarmed man, out of uniform, to death while my buddies beat his pal senseless, than we dragged his pal off as a prisoner. This was praiseworthy but we really only did it to keep up with the other teams. We were up against some ferocious competeition and I DO mean ferocious!
That was another thing that can have more than one interpretation: Recon scoutts taking out some snoozing Comiies, some might say but but what it actually looked like was a vicious murder.And thats the memory I have of it, including the planning of it..
I have remembered that incident and others most days of my life. Sometimes I'd see Asian teenagers and I'd almost feel my hair starting to stand on end. When I first studied Macbeth I really got it, especially the part where he's standing outside Duncan's door, about to stab another sleeping unarmed man to death and he gets cold feet. That was me: I got right in the middle of that experience and I would have paid ANY money to be out of it.
"If it were done when tis done, then twere well it were done quickly" One finds oneself in the middle of that circumstance going: What the fck is going on here? its that unreal.
Well, screw your courage to the sticking post, I just went in there and did it (unlike Macbeth,who's wife actually did it). But I never did it that way again,it was too up close and personal for me..

Well, how could that NOT have a HUGE influence on my life? And I don't mean a positive one, either. I actually thought stabbing an enemy soldier to death must have been a fairly common experience--probably happened to at least 1 out of 4 lrrps and the others used silenced weapons (so did I after that) I read historical accounts of other wars, it was a common experienc there too. But not in our war
Youre not supposed to talk about it. But its still there. I went to therapy for years about this, both VA and private but I never filed a claim even though every therapist said I should-still bought into the John Wayne image too much.
Finally I filed a claim but I made 2 promises to myself: I wouldn't go into the hospital for it (seen One Flew Ovew The Cuckoos Nest) and I wouldn't take drugs for it. I have a different view of drugs than most, I get addicted to things that make me feel good.
And I made a promise a long time ago (1976) that the world was only going to see me without drugs (includes alcohol) The VA helped me out here--I went to see them about taking antiDs and they put me in a nonsmoking class!! Got so disgusted I told em where to stick it (havent smoked ANYTHING since 1976)
The VA shrinks and VA counselors diagnosed me with a disease and set the rate of compensation (100%) You don't think some dumass Sp/4 with just a weenie BA in history from a state college could fool all those experts do you? They didn't either.
This enabled me to retire in style ( I was going to anyway) If I'm going to be disabled, I might as well live it up. I finally figured out who's responsible for my having a good time.
I used to think we lost the Vietnam War but now I see I won. What I thought I really got screwd on turned out to be good in the end. That was a happy end to the Vietnam War I thought I'd never see

James
Happy just to be alive.

[onesix]

Well I'll be dammed! I got it to, but it only took me 9 months to get 50%. I appealed and had it raised to 100% on my first try. On my first follow-up exam I got it raised to 100% P&T. Not one lousy person helped me, just followed the VA guidelines. Easy as pie. I also have a BA in history, but it only took me 5 years, not 17. I guess that's why I was a lofty E-5 and you were only an E-4

PS: Ossifers aren't supposed to get PTSD, are they?

[SEATJERKER]

......Duty First,...

...Duty to whom, We all did our duty with honor

...The thoughts of event, or events weighs heavy on the mind forever,...

......The system seems to work for those accepted into it, and is only as good as the counselers involved, I call it burying the hatchet, I like to bury a hatchet in my counselers office door just to leave him a reminder of forgeting about me, I've been a fall through the cracks veteran for, will be 25 years soon enough, and have just again shut it all away again as my case is just a "shelved" one,...

...I've learned enough to try to stop the horrors of "my nightmare", and for a few years, the voicing of it, I tried to solve it, and ran out of any new information, it dried up, just too long ago for records to reappear,...

...Can't turn off the visuals that accompany all of it, nor the times in which they choose to surface, avoidence of hostile territory, (Streets, yea works for me), avoidence of indifferent situations, avoidence of bogus input,(the one eyed monster, TV, movies, etc)

...lots of useful info here, and rightfully so for many, everyone's case is individual, just not always treated that way,...

...still softly venting keeps my pressure cooker hissing which means is releasing, it's a good thing, though most of you here, I've learned to vent better, and venting softly is just about all I got now,...

... I think I've forgivin the gunman more then the Va. for the way they have handled my case from the start,. It's something like all of you being asked everytime you went in "are you sure you were in Vietnam"?,...forever proving yourself,...

...