Sole Mate?

[Keith_Hixson]

A species of bottom fish found around the world. Very good eating.
If my memory serves me correctly, halibut are the largest member of the flounder sole family. They are flat bottom fish with both eyes on one side of their head. Great in fish'n chips etc.


DragonLady,

So I get to meet your hubby this summer? Looking forward to your trip out west. Chris and I will straighten out your hubby.

Keith

P.S.

You can wear an Adidas on one foot and a Nike on the other foot but they'll never be sole mates.

[SparrowHawk62]

Originally posted by Dragon Lady
Be honest with your wife, BUT be careful with your honesty. If you love her, don't hurt her. But do ask your friend to please cool it, if you value your marriage.

Come on folks, we're reading a lot in to this situation that isn't there. So let me do some explaining and maybe we can get back on track. To start my wife (of 23 years), knows this woman, she knows she has confided in me as she has no one else. Her Ex is not in the picture, the father of her child is no longer around and took off never to be heard from again when the child came along.
She was a CO-worker who burned out doing law enforcement work. I took care of finding her help when she needed it.
Her daughter is her life, this woman gets involved with everything this child does. PTSA, Girl Scouts, Track and Field, Band and a few other things I can't remember. She doesn't have the personal time to date and will not leave her child home alone to go out on a date.
I've been honest with my wife in fact she talks with the woman all the time. My friend has nothing to "cool" unless a hug and a peck on the cheek are going over board?
I don't think I infered that I was cheating, that's surely not the case now or any time in the near future. My life is screwed up enough right now with out adding that into the mix.

Allow me to do the what if:
Now DL, I come upstate and start working in the same place you do. We find out we "know" each other from this site. We start to talk, about our time in the service. We laugh and joke with each other about it. The more we talk the more we have in common. We both skydive, ride bikes, kayak, collect military stuff.
We do some of these things with the full knowledge of our spouses, some times they come along and get along well enough.
You need help moving, I offer a truck and help move stuff as well.
Maybe I help paint your house with your husband, fix cars and bikes with the both of you.
We really hit it off and over a few years, we consider each other really good friends. We'd drop what we are doing to come to one anothers assistance with out question.
Have we done anything "wrong", can't a guy and a gal be really good friends?

[nang]

When you put it that way. It sounds harmless.

[Keith_Hixson]

Just draw the lines and be careful.

But, there are possible dangers and that is what I want you to be aware of.

Keith

[SparrowHawk62]

Originally posted by Keith_Hixson Just draw the lines and be careful, But, there are possible dangers and that is what I want you to be aware of. Keith

Ok, so make believe I'm stupid and spell out the rules for me.

[SparrowHawk62]

Originally posted by nang When you put it that way. It sounds harmless.

It is, but we're still skirtting the question. Can we go on being the very good friends we have been for years?

[Keith_Hixson]

1. It ain't going any further than friendship and if you think it is it is time to bring it to a halt. Put it on the table right up front.
2. Try never to be really alone, just you and her. Always in the open observed by others.
3. Never ever show signs of physical affection. The average woman will misread them everytime!!!!!


I had a youth leader go through this with one of the mothers of a youngster in the youth group. By the time I found out about it, his marriage was ruined. Her marriage was salvaged but by only a lot of counseling. And it all started very innocently. All parties concerned were wonderful people. A sad situation. That happened years ago.

Keith

[SparrowHawk62]

1. We've talked about this, we're friends not lovers.
2. Can't think of a time we've been alone, work, ballgames, parades. Like I mentioned her daughter is also part of the picture.
3. I do the hug and peck on the cheek thing with a lot of women I know. I've a gotta somea Itralliano in me!

[Arrow]

Arrow>>>>>>>>>

[Keith_Hixson]

Had a buddy in the Army. Went home with for a visit. He was pure Italian. Walked through the door and every female in the room was pecking my cheek. For a conservative boy from Eastern Oregon that rarely even saw his parents kiss I was in a state of shock. Culture Shock that is! I didn't know if I had died and gone to heaven or I was headed straight for hell.

Sis,
I've known and observed the positive side a brother and sister relationship, but I've also seem marriages and ministries crumble when caution wasn't used. Be very careful and make sure everyone knows the rules.

Keith