What has Patriotfiles done for you.

[sn-e3]

What has Patriotfiles done for you.? Well let me tell you my story its not long but I bet its nearly the same for alot of people. I started on the History channel until they were so unreliable that I went to Military.com. I was lost, looking for some meaning to what I contributed to the whole Vietnam War. I was no frontline soldier. I was in the Navy on a ship doing my duty. You never see that on TV history . You see army and marines in fire fights or jumping out of helicopters. As for myself I felt that I didn't do a thing and did not really belong or call myself a Vietnam Vet. But after getting to know guys on the sites and asking questions I started to believe in my self and the service I did for my country. I think the turning point was when I ask if any of the ground troops ever needed navy gun fire support and did it help them. The answer lifted my heart out of the gutter because the responce was over whelming that we did do a good job when called upon. I'll close for now by saying this site litterly saved my life. and help me too start to heal.Opps I must have sand in my eyes. I have along way too go but I have a whole lot of people guarding my six god bless one and all...chris P.S. God Bless David and Bern They areAngels in my book

[SparrowHawk62]

Shipmate, that's a great statement. May you continue to heal as most of us here have to do as well. You get jammed up you know who to contact, please include myself if you'd like.

[melody1181]

I will tell you what it did for me. Though I bet ya its different than most here.

My uncle was a Vietnam Vet. But He never talked about it, NEVER. One of his sons didn't even really know that he served in a war. Well as usually it happens I became more curious about his service AFTER his death in 2000. I kick myself in the butt every morning wishing I had asked him earlier....maybe I could of directed him to a place like this, to let him see he wasn't alone. Every day i wish it happened differently.

I first went to the history channel thing. We all know what happened there. Was on here for a breif while then gone for longer and finally back. I came to these sites hoping to find people who might of known my uncle. What this site has done to me is give me a look at what my uncle could of been and maybe what he was like. I read alot on the Vietnam room.

Some of the "characters" of the site remind me of him, he was one himself. So "it" helps me remember him more and understand who he was a little bit better.

[MORTARDUDE]

Most of my life is on here. When I was in the deepest throes of depression, peering into the chasms of utter oblivion, hating myself and everyone I knew for my own failings, I found comrades in arms here that understood my problems. I would have never gone to the VA about PTSD and filed a claim if I had not read the stories on here. In no small measure, Patriot Files has helped get my life on track, saved my marriage, and my life.
David and Bern are indeed angels.

May God Bless,

Larry

[MORTARDUDE]

Melody :

Don't feel bad about not asking your uncle about his service. Some folks just cannot talk about it. My father died in 1986 at age 73..at the time I was 37. We had many discussions about his Army service from 1941 - 44 and his tour of duty in the Pacific in WW2 with the 43rd Infantry Division. I had inquired many times if he had killed anybody. A typical question that is asked my many of combat veterans before they even realize what they have said. He never would answer the question but would give me a strange half smile. After his death, in doing research on his unit, I found out he was in a situation in the New Georgia operation, where the Japs had infiltrated the foxholes of his men and they spent all night fighting real and imaginary enemies killing many of their own men in the process. It caused many to be medevaced due to what was called "shell shock" ( PTSD ) at the time. I believe this had a great effect on him as he never mentioned this. Also, my grandmother on my father's side died in 1972. She was about 81 or so. I was 23 at the time. Even though I had been very interested in the Civil War from the time of the Civil War Centennial celebrations in 1961, I didn't realize what a resource I had in her as her father lived from 1834 -1922 and fought in all 4 years of the Civil War, infantry and cavalry. She could have told me a lot of 2nd person experiences of the Civil War. I am saying all of this for anyone's benefit who may read it...talk to your older relatives while they are alive. The stories that have to tell will amze and astound you !!!

Larry

[sn-e3]

Larry you are absolutly right I talked to my Great Uncle before he died about WW1 the story's made my hair stand on end.. He captured the first german in his division and was presented a chrome plated 45 revolver, its in the army museam at Ft. Lewis washington. He lost one lung to musterd gas in 1918 and was given six months to live but he lived to the ripe old age of 91 and even then he was a force to recon with. just ask any of the nurses who changed his bed pans. I talked to all my uncles who served in many different branchs and each of there stories will live within me until I die. and the closer to death they got the more they would confide in me.

[SparrowHawk62]

Finding this site has reasured me I am not alone. That there are folks who remember the darkest of days, yet they are able to walk in the light and show others the way as well.
It's a support system, a place to share with those who understand.
I wrote this to help non vets try and understand what PTSD is all about. Vet's seem to grasp it right away, at least some I've shown this to do. Sand Crabs, don't get the message.

I understand life is complicated. I'm lost and confused with no light ahead to guide me. I'll stumble for a while, maybe I shall find the right path one day. It was great to have had you along side me on the path so far, now there is a fork in the path and I must travel my new path alone. No one's hand to hold, no words to soften the blows life has struck me with. I'm heading for a dark journey filled with uncertainly, along it's path I'll meet my monsters, ghosts and demons again. My sword dulled from many a battle with them already, I will carry on. Weak from my beating, bleeding with the loss of every friend, weary from the journey, I will continue. Tarnished is the shield I call my name, no longer does it proudly shine, I will travel onward. Cold, worn, dishearten, blindly I shall grope along. Knees disjointed and suffering from the crawl, I will make my way.
At the end of the Journey, may my sharpened sword be blood stained from having put the monsters, demons and ghosts to rest. I want to stand proudly one more time with my eyes open. May my name glisten on the stone that bears it one warm spring day.

This site has become part of the light I seek. I'm on a good path now and hopefully will not loose my way. My monsters, demons and the ghosts seem to fade from view while I'm here. Some of the bleeding has stopped as I've added some new friends to my life while being here.
I want to thank the founders of this site who have given hope a place to stay. I want to thank those that chat back and forth with me helping me sharppen my sword.
My stone will also read "Navy Veteran" two huge words that have shaped my life forever.
Thank you all so very much.

[Keith_Hixson]

Relax, share and feel the comradship of the military, the mountain rescue team, the medic and fire fighting teams I was a part of for so many years.

I don't have to pretend to be sophisticated and polished but I can let my hair down and be with a bunch of great men and women who also served their country in the military.

And with all the crazies on this site I can put to use all the psychology training.

Keith

[Tamaroa]

my contribution to the armed forces was indeed greater than I thought. Though not a victim of PTSD, In one sense I always felt out side, a loner as it were. Not many people, veterans included, consider the Coast Guard an armed force. Truly it is and we had two squadrons of cutters in Viet Nam. My cutter, though, was search and rescue. We saved lives towed ships into port, went after smugglers. My ship alone was responsible for capturing 160 tons of marijuana through 12 drug busts.

But never the less I was always made to feel a little less than a veteran. I consoled myself by thinking that it didn't matter, when I looked into the eyes of a survivor, that was all that was needed to keep going. Most American Legion Posts have the flags of the FOUR services hanging. Usually we are left out in the cold. On this site, I am treated as an equal. I appreciate that.

Though not under fire for 13 months at a clip, I can assure you taking a tug hundreds of miles out into the ocean, to rescue a nut who wrapped his nets around his propellers has some hairy moments.

I cannot hope to connect or relate to what some of you have gone through, yet by the same token, as a 19 year old helmsman, I took a 1740 ton 205 foot ocean going tug through 30 and 40 foot seas to bring home people while other ships were seeking shelter. I don't know many people that could regularly face walls of water like that.

So thanks for treating me as one of the guys.

Bill

[sn-e3]

Bill well stated and for the record I have allways respected the coasties they would go places I would never even conceder and I know of many that paid the price with their lives I know around Washington state they are well thought of because we know what they do.