The Day the Goldfish Died

Little Timmy was in the garden filling in a hole when his neighbor peered over the fence. Interested in what the rosy-cheeked youngster was up to, he politely asked,"What are you up to there,Timmy?"
"My goldfish died," replied Timmy tearfully,without looking up,"and I've just buried him."
The neighbor was concerned,"That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish,isn't it?"
Timmy patted down the last heap of earth then replied,"That's because he's inside your friggin cat!"

[revwardoc]

Did you hear about the attorney who got home late one evening after a very
taxing day trying to get a stay of execution for Leonard Wright, a client,
who was due to be executed for murder at midnight?

His last minute plea for clemency to the Governor had failed and he was
feeling tired and depressed.

As soon as he got through the door his wife started on about "What time of
night do you call this? Where the hell have you been?" and on and on and on.

Too tired to play his usual role in this familiar ritual, he poured himself
a very large shot of Brandy and headed off to the bathroom for a long hot
soak pursued by the predictable sarcastic remarks.

Half an hour later the phone rang. The wife answered and was told that her
husband's client, Leonard Wright, had been granted his stay of execution
after all. Finally realizing what a day he must have had and feeling a bit
sheepish, she relented and went upstairs to give him the good news.

As she opened the bathroom door, she was greeted by the sight of her
husband's rear end as he bent naked over the bath cleaning the tub.

"They're not hanging Wright tonight," she said.

The attorney whirled around and screamed hysterically, "For crying out loud
woman, don't you ever stop?"

[Jerry D]

Those were some hum dingers there guys thanks for the laughter they brought