Friends

[39mto39g]

When I got to Viet Nam I had to go to Pleiku to get a unit assinment, While in Pleiku I met a high school friend of mine, gary Letrell. He was in the 173 airborne, We went to the Mess hall and ate lunch togeather, Kinda catch up on high school days, (I dated his sister) We talked for about 2 hours and at the end he told me he had a bad feeling about going to his unit that something bad was going to happen. I didn't know what to tell him, I could see the scarredness( is that a word) in his eyes, I told him that when he got to his unit he should make friends and watch out for himself. I never experianced the feeling he said he had, I always new I would make it, for some reason. So I didn't know how to advise him. This was June of 67, We went to our units, I kinda forgot about our meeting untill October 67, WE were CA-ed in to Kontum to help the 173rd that were in the area being hit hard. I learned a couple months latter from a letter from my mother that Gary had been killed by a mortar in Oct in Kontum.
When we were in Pleiku Gary asked me my opinion about going AWOL and I told him I would never do that, He said, But what if you had a feeling that you were going to die. I couldn't give him any advise.
Every time I think of those days I wish I would have told him to Go AWOL.

Ron

[DMZ-LT]

Hindsight is easy , Ron. Lord knows I carry a lot of memories with me everyday. We did the best we could , that's all we could do. We are the lucky ones. I had the "bad feeling " your friend had and I kept humping too , but I lived. Peace

[phuloi]

Those "What ifs" and "If I had Onlys" can make a guy crazy.Like Lt said,we did the best we could with what we had to work with.It ain`t on you so let it go,Ron.

[39mto39g]

Thanks but I feel it is on me and has been for a long time.
see, Not only were me and Gary friends and I dated his sister, but our parents were and are good friends. I was the last person from our home town that spoke with him, His mother has asked me all about him and I tell her nothing of what we were talking about, Just tell her he missed home and family.
I have blamed myself for him for a long time now, If I would have told him not to report to his unit, I really think he wouldn't have,
He would be AWOL and a diserter and a dishonorable discharge and all that, BUT he would be alive, and personally, I could give a shit what the Army thinks or that he was doing his duty for his country, F-that.
But I deal with it and a bunch of other issues every time VN is brought up. This sight and talking about VN is relief in a weard sort of way. When Im at work its easy, cause I look at the kids that are depending on me to make that discison that lets them come home at the end of the day. Its what I do, and just comes natural, Im lucky I guess?
One of them wrote on my Fire Coat, WWRD (What Would Ron Do) All I have to do is point at it when the shit hits the fan.

Ron

[Keith_Hixson]

Ron,

You are a fireman and medic. I was a fireman and medic. I have questioned making the correct decision on several occassions. When some dies during a Medic run and you question whether you missed something and you back through the routine, again and again, etc. I have learned that you can't live in the what if world. The advice not to go AWOL was the only logical advice you could give. It was the legal advice, it was sensible advice, you told him the only thing you had a right to tell him. It was sad, very sad what happened to your friend but you had absolutely nothing to do with it.

If he had gone AWOL and was still alive, would you respect him?
No, because you didn't know he was going to die. This is just a very sad situation and no guilt upon your part.

Keep those kids out of trouble! You are a good man.

Keith

[splummer]

Don't blame yourself. There was nothing you could do. If Gary would have gone awol he would have gone to camp LBJ for a while then right back to a unit where he would have had the same fate. I don't understand how some people back then knew that they were going to die. I told this story before. My best freind and bunk mate from AIt flew with me to Nam laughing all the way. All of a sudden Larry stopped laughing, got a serious look on his face and said, Steve, I'm not comming back. We got separated at Ben Wha and I learned of his death a few months later. I feel as bad about it now as I did back then.

[DMZ-LT]

Survivors guilt is a battle I fight every day. Talking here helps a lot. I know I am not the lone ranger anymore , with these feelings , and neither are you Ron. Gary would want you to be happy. Keep movin. Peace

[exlrrp]

Originally posted by 39mto39g Thanks but I feel it is on me and has been for a long time.
see, Not only were me and Gary friends and I dated his sister, but our parents were and are good friends. I was the last person from our home town that spoke with him, His mother has asked me all about him and I tell her nothing of what we were talking about, Just tell her he missed home and family.
I have blamed myself for him for a long time now, If I would have told him not to report to his unit, I really think he wouldn't have,
He would be AWOL and a diserter and a dishonorable discharge and all that, BUT he would be alive, and personally, I could give a shit what the Army thinks or that he was doing his duty for his country, F-that.
But I deal with it and a bunch of other issues every time VN is brought up. This sight and talking about VN is relief in a weard sort of way. When Im at work its easy, cause I look at the kids that are depending on me to make that discison that lets them come home at the end of the day. Its what I do, and just comes natural, Im lucky I guess?
One of them wrote on my Fire Coat, WWRD (What Would Ron Do) All I have to do is point at it when the shit hits the fan.

Ron

Ron
Every man has his own destiny. If a man is fated to die in battle, its in Gods hands, certainly not ours.
You did what you did and he did what he did. He made the choice and now its over. I doubt if anything you might have said would have made a difference and I just don't see you being the guy to tell people to go AWOL. And where was there to go AWOL to? Now all thats left about it is you and your feelings.
What was it really made us hardcore? It was just the willingness to stand up and look our own death in the face and still accomplish the mission. But some of us aren't going to make it through that and didn't.
Millions of people died in that war. Now its hard to see what it was all about.
God Bless
james

[39mto39g]

One last reply,
I would agree with most of you if it weren't Gary.
I have always been the un-badged leader, If I would have told him to go AWOL, He would have,
As far as respect goes, Gary was my Friend, I would not have had any dissresect for him. I wouldn't have cared. I know this goes against what is the norm and what is right and good but I could care less.
If I could just get his eyes out of my head, I could see he was scared and I didn't help him.
But thank you all for your support.
Im on duty today and have to get back to (playin-with-the boys)

Seeeeeeeeeeeee ya

Ron

[exlrrp]

Originally posted by 39mto39g One last reply,
I would agree with most of you if it weren't Gary.
I have always been the un-badged leader, If I would have told him to go AWOL, He would have,
As far as respect goes, Gary was my Friend, I would not have had any dissresect for him. I wouldn't have cared. I know this goes against what is the norm and what is right and good but I could care less.
If I could just get his eyes out of my head, I could see he was scared and I didn't help him.
But thank you all for your support.
Im on duty today and have to get back to (playin-with-the boys)

Seeeeeeeeeeeee ya

Ron

Ron
You are a WHOLE lot better human being than you let on sometimes. You ALWAYS amaze me.
I'm glad we're friends

James