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[thedrifter]

Two years ago my dad came home. No he didn't come like most dads' do.
He didn't walk through he door, or didn't get out of the car. Instead
he came home in an envelope, all 33 bone chips a tooth and a half a
pair of flight wings was all physically left of him. He was found 12
feet deep in a rice paddy outside of Hanoi in Vietnam. His soul had
left a long time ago but the body was still wasn't home. Not home
until just recently, as he was Missing In Action for 33 and half
years. He was forgotten, not by his Family or Friends or Comrades
about by the Government that he served for had forgotten him and
thousands of others.

This story isn't about sorrow but about what the truth feels like.
While growing up I always thought my dad would come home as he was
just on a secret mission, but when the father and son games and the
camp outs and the other guys having someone to throw a ball with or to
talk to, he just wasn't there. My Family has something that many
others don't though. That is CLOSURE, my dad, Capt. Richard Rich, was
positively identified two years ago this week. There are those out
there that do not agree that I did not ask for a MT-DNA sample, that I
should have made the government prove to me that the remains before me
were actually my Dad's. After reviewing the evidence that was
presented to my Mom, and me I accepted it as my Dad. Yes the
identification was a tooth and we know that the US Govt has made some
bad identification on just a tooth. This is a good Ident. Those that
belittled me and told me that I was weak and should have made the US
Government run a MT DNA sample, all I have to say is ---- YOU. Maybe
if the evidence was sketchy, or if the tooth sort of matched, or if
the location had more than one F4 in the general area. Than I would
have, asked for a better Ident. The case is that I, being the PNOK,
was satisfied and if there are those of you, and you know who you are
that don't like what I did or how I did it. Too bad, you have no
right to tell me that I did it wrong because you weren't here with my
family or me. So you might have a loved one that didn't come home
either but you don't tell anyone else how to run their cases or their
lives.

People ask me when I felt like it was over. It wasn't on March 13,
2000 when Diane and I were awakened at 5am to see if it was ok for the
Secretary of Defense to give my name out to the press. It wasn't when
I received pictures for the repatriation ceremony in Hanoi or the one
in Hawaii. It wasn't when Navy Mortuary Affairs called me up to make
final arrangements; I found it kind of funny when they asked if we
would like a full size coffin. When I said no, it shocked them. For 33
bone chips and a tooth. Why do we need a full size casket? Closure
didn't come to me when I had gotten the orders to fly to Hawaii to
pick up the remains. Nor was it when we went to CilHi and had the tour
and the command briefing, (if you ever have a chance to go to Hawaii,
go visit CilHi, it is well worth the trip) or was it when they showed
me the remains and the very nice oak urn with the brass nameplate on
it. Nor was it when I picked up the remains and held them for some
time. No closure still did not come when Diane and I got back on the
flight back to Washington DC. The flight to Chicago was packed, we
were on a L1011 packed to the gills and to top it off it was a red
eye. So we got into Chicago about 5am and killed two hours waiting for
the flight in to DC. During this time I am walking around with the box
that contained the urn that contained the remains of my dad in it. So
our flight is getting ready to leave and we have a whole row of seats.
Diane takes the window as I like the aisle for legroom and I strap the
box in to the middle seat and put a windbreaker over it. The flight
attendant came back to inform me that nothing was allowed on the seat
during flight. I explained to her that it was a box that contained an
urn that contained my dad. She said she would go and talk with the
Pilot. So the Pilot comes on back and explains to us that due to FAA
regulations that nothing is allowed to be on the seat. What he said
afterwards floored me, he said, "it would be my honor and privilege if
I could place the urn in the cockpit behind my seat." Well he went out
in the cockpit and came home in the cockpit. But that still wasn't
when I felt the closure.

It wasn't when I handed the urn over to the funeral home, nor when
there was visitation hours. Nor was it the day of the services or when
I spoke at the services. No it wasn't when a Navy Captain and Admiral
saluted my family as we were walking out. It wasn't when the Navy Band
started to play or when they loaded the Urn in to the caisson. It was
when we were walking behind it following the precession to the
gravesite. YES WE HAVE A GRAVCE SITE, just not a marker or a name on a
Wall but we actually have 3 feet in Arlington National Cemetery. It
was like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders as I was telling
Diane this; my Brother Rob pushes me to the left and points down. The
horses are well fed.

But this is what every family member wants, is just the truth. What
hurt the most are the not knowing and the lack of empathy that is
given to the families of those that are still not accounted for.

I have been asked many of times over the past 10 years if I would give
up this issue if my dad were ever accounted for, "as so many others
have". No I haven't given up on this issue, I just can't do that, but
I don't live the issue on a personal day-to-day basis. I think the
reason why so many family members get out of the issue after their
part is done, is just that, their part is done. So yes I am still here
but maybe not as loud as before or as much as a knife in the
governments side but I am still around. I think someone said it best,
as I am a puppy pit bull with basset hound mix.



Why does it take:
So many,
So long,

To make,

So few,

So happy

Chris Rich

Proud Son of Capt. Richard Rich

USN 1945-1967

MIA 1967-2000

Remains recovered 3/13/00

Remains Identified 10/10/00

Buried on American Soil 11/10/00

Sempers,

Roger

[SEATJERKER]

...Amen...

[Boats]

Roger,

I salute your Father for his sacrafice in the name of peace. I've ready your entire thread twice and each time I got chills. His memory will always live in my mind like so many others who didn't make it back.

I pray you will find some peace in this terrible ordeal you went through. There are some who can't relate to your pain (just yet) but those of use who knew many of these soldier's will carry their spirits with us each day.

My best to you and your family and may you and your family find the inner strength to live each day as your Father would have wanted you to.

Respectfully,

[Arrow]

thank you for allowing us to know this part of your history. I think you did everything just exactly as you should have. Your way. I to have read your post more than once today. I won't forget it. In relating your thoughts of your dad maybe being on a secret mission it reminded me of a little girl's voice saying "Mama are you sure my daddy died?" "Maybe they made a mistake" and hearing the make believe stories of a little boy going rabbit hunting with a daddy that died about the time the boy took his first step. All to often the family is forgotten. But we are all warriors just the same. Some of the best in the world. You did a good thing today in reminding us of the sacrifice of your Father and your family. Thank you again.

Lest We Forget

[Wazza]

After reading a post such as this, doesn't it make you think how wonderful and powerful language is and where we, as human beings, would be without it. God has given us a wonderful gift to be able to communicate with each other in such powerful and emotional terms. God bless you and your family and I trust the rest of lives are less traumatic.

[masher51]

I'm truely sorry for your lost.
I want you to know that your dad died with honor and no
politician in Wash D.C. could make a pimple on his behind.
I honor his memory today and the more than 1800 that are
still missing.
masher

[Andy]

I missed your post for more than 2 months, I'm so happy I checked this site tonite. What a story! I'm not a person given to outward emotion, but this tore me up. Your dad had courage, there can be no question about that. It seems the apple did fall close to the tree.
Someone actually had the audacity to attempt to belittle you? That sounds like trying to defend pedophilia and cannibalism. You sir make my life experiences seem sheltered and very dull.
Thank you for sharing. Your a good man and please, a welcome home to Dad.

Stay healthy,
Andy, one of the lucky ones

[avsr1877]

i am a retired marine vietnam veteran i say a prayer for your father he came home i guess the only god wanted him too the viet-cong could care less for us we all were called baby killers and spit on if you choose too write me at any one of these e-mails vitalonesr@aol.com,gysgtvitalone@aol.com

semper fi gunny vitalone too the drifter