Gone to Hell in a Handbasket :ai:

[grasshopper]

to make a very long, sad, ugly story short.....
my oldest son is no longer living with us.


he assaulted me with a bat (on the right thigh) and threw me face 1st into a livingroom wall.


I have a lovely deep purple/black left eye and a developing bruise on my right thigh.
i finally got to my neighbours and called 911. The police came and took him away. he will be charged with aggrevated assault & assault with a dangerous weapon. Tonite he is being held in juvie hall and tomorrow a.m. will be in court. They will charge him formally there and release him, hopefully to a foster home and NOT his father.


I am in an awful state... I know I had to charge him but what mother (or father) wishes to do that to their own child???? For the protection of myself and my 2 other sons, there will be a restraining order against Mike and he cannot come here, contact us by any means nor see his brothers here or at their school.


I am utterly devastated and feel that somehow I have failed my child. I kick myself for not getting the 4 of us out and away from their dad longtime ago. As a parent who was there but didn't want to be there, and refused to positively deal with anything, their dad has been a very negative factor in all their young lives and I fear that has damaged them all. i am not perfect either... but at least I love my boys, wanted my boys and tried to offset to negative stuff and teach them right from wrong. still, somehow I have failed miserably with Mike
sad sad sigh
please keep my oldest son, Michael (16) in your prayers. He needs good folks like you all.
Susan

[SuperScout]

Kindly put away the cat-o-nine tails that you're using on yourself. It's totally unnecessary, as we are all given free will by our Creator, and as it sounds, your son made some poor choices. I'm absolutely certain that you did the very best you could, given what you had to work with, a less than stellar environment. What worked for me was to turn my will and my life completely over to the care of my Higher Power whom I choose to call God. May He bring you peace and serenity that surpasses all human understanding. My prayers are with you and your family.
Scouts Out!!

[Arrow]

Susan,

You just got out of surgery girl. What choice do you have? You have other children in the house. You are their only mother. You rode in this rodeo once with his Dad. You don't need to do it again. You did the right thing as bad as it hurts. You may have saved your life and his and someone elses down the line.

You all will be in my prayers, but you most of all for wisdom and peace and rest and healing.

Arrow>>>>>>

[sn-e3]

Sue you have my prayers that things will get better for you. I wasn'nt a perfect 16 year old myself but with a little help I turned out ok I pray the same happens for you 16 is a rough age not a kid and not a man its hard to figure where your at sometimes. hang in there spring is just around the corner...chris

[MORTARDUDE]

Susan :

My prayers are with you and your family.

Larry

[DMZ-LT]

You did what you had to do to protect the rest of your family. No one ever said this journey was going to be easy. Don't beat yourself up. Heal. Baby steps , Susan , baby steps. Peace on your path .

Surely ya gotta know that all the folks here are behind ya,with ya,and(if we could figger out how)would definately walk point for ya.When and as is posible let us tote your ruck and- like Lt. says-baby steps are the order of the day.

Convinced it takes a lot more bal...er...courage to be a parent of teenagers than to be most anything else.

Be nice to yourself.You deserve all the nice you can get.

Be well,

Hal

[theoddz]

Please don't berate yourself. You're like any parent...you do the best you can with what you have when you have had to do it. There comes a time in the life of every young person, when a path must be chosen, and Mike has, quite obviously, chosen a difficult path. This choice is his. You did not make it for him so you should not feel that you have failed him.

Mike will have to live with the consequences of his choices as we all do. Maybe he will learn from this and straighten himself out. Keep loving him, though, and let him know that, even though he makes mistakes, you still love him. Even though you don't support or approve of his behavior, you still support him.

My heart goes out to you as I know you are hurting. My prayers are with you.

Peace.

[grasshopper]

Thank you so much everyone. I had a much better day today. The Police Victim Services called. Nice, caring person. Gave me a few ideas. I also talked to my other 2 boys' teachers; the wonderful counselor they have seen since the spring of 2003, and went down to the station to have pictures taken. I have to go back there in a few days as the bruise on my thigh is still developing.

Mike's arraignment was this morning. I was advised not to attend so I didn't. His father did though. Mike's sentencing date will be in 2 weeks. He was released to his father. Not the best situation, IMHO, but it will do for the present. I am in the process of having Mike properly assessed and also getting him in a foster/boarding situation close to his highschool. His dad opposes that... he will still have to pay child support if I am successful and he really hates that. The $$$$ is the only reason he took Mike in. Sad eh? For now he will have to take a bus for over an hour to get to school. His dad refuses to drive him as 'he will be late for work, don'tya know...' That in itself speaks volumes. I am going to give this all a rest soon.. give Mike a couple of weeks to experience life on the bus, ugly hours, life with his father. Then I perhaps will talk to Mike.

I am trying not to beat myself up too much. I know I did the right thing. Still.. it is the most awful thing a parent has to go through.

I love Mike very much. I want only the best of the best for him. I will move mountain and earth to get those tools in place for him. The rest is up to him. He has been court ordered to attend any appointment made for him. That also does not please his father... go figure eh? And Mike is not allowed to come here or contact his brothers or be at their school. Me he can contact... and I can contact him, he just is not allowed here for any reason. So the ball is well in motion. This will take lotsof time on everyone's part. It could take years even. But I am doing the best thing a parent could do and must learn to accept that and to deal with it.

Again, thank you so much. You are such a wonderful group of people.

Love Susan

[Keith_Hixson]

Just caught on with this post.

I'm sorry, your are in my prayers.

Keith