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Old 09-26-2004, 05:30 AM
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Default Running Cadence (rated R)

Irene


Irene's her name
She's one of the best.
So every night
I give her the test.

She looks so pretty.
So sleek, so slim.
The moon is bright
the lights are dim.

I've seen her stripped.
I've seen her bare,
I've felt her over everywhere.
I handled her just as gentle as I could.

And when I got in her
I knew she was good.
I rolled her over on her side
Then on her back I also tried.

She's just one big thrill
the best in the land.
She's an F-16
in the Air Combat Command.




I wish all the ladies


I wish, I wish, I wish all the ladies
Were bells on a tower
And I was the bellboy
I'd bang 'em by the hour

I wish, I wish, I wish all the ladies
Were pies on a shelf
And I was the baker
I'd eat 'em all myself

I wish, I wish, I wish all the ladies
Were holes on a road
And I was the dumptruck
I'd fill 'em with my load

I wish, I wish, I wish all the ladies
Were bricks in a pile
And I was the mason
I'd lay 'em all like tile

Note: These lyrics may also be used as a chorus.
I said hey pass the reefer!
I said hey bobba-reeba!
A left-right a left-right
A left right you're outta sight!






McDonalds Psycho


Going to McDonalds.
To get a coke and fry,
That's when the psycho
caught me by surprise.
People started running,
heading for the door.
That's when the psycho
shot at twenty more.
Ronald McDonald
looking at the dead.
That's when the psycho
shot him in the head.
Next time I'm hungry.
I'll do the right thing,
and take my business,
on to Burger King.

Alternate:

Joe was eating some golden fries.
He caught a round right in the eyes.
Joe was eating some golden fries.
He caught a round right in the eyes.
A wop-wop way-o!
A yip-yip yeah!
A wop-wop way-o!
A yip-yip yeah!
Jill was drinking a chocolate shake.
She caught a round right in the neck.
Jill was drinking a chocolate shake.
She caught a round right in the neck.
A wop-wop way-o!
A yip-yip yeah!
A wop-wop way-o!
A yip-yip yeah!
James was eating a Big Mac
He caught a round right in the back.
James was eating a Big Mac
He caught a round right in the back.





Sally Brown


There was a girl
called Sally Brown
Said no man
could lay her down.

Then over the hill
came perfect Pete
He was 50 pounds
of swingin' meat.

He lay Sally down
in the grass
And shoved his dick
up her ass.

Sally let out
a ripper fart
Blew Pete's balls
20 feet apart.

Over that hill
went Perfect Pete's
50 pounds
of damaged meat.




Three German Soldiers


Note: Sung to the tune of "When Johnny comes marching home"

Three German soldiers crossed the line taboo taboo
Three German soldiers crossed the line taboo taboo
Three German soldiers crossed the line they raped the women and drank the
wine and they all said zeich hile tickle my ass taboo

They came upon a way side inn taboo taboo
They came upon a way side inn taboo taboo
They came upon a way side inn the door was locked so they kicked it in and
they all said zeich hile tickle my ass taboo

The inn keeper had a daughter fair taboo taboo
The inn keeper had a daughter fair taboo taboo
The inn keeper had a daughter fair With long blond hair And Tits to There
and they all said zeich hile tickle my ass taboo

They tied her to a feather bed taboo taboo
They tied her to a feather bed taboo taboo
They tied her to a feather bed and fucked till she was almost dead and they
all said zeich hile tickle my ass taboo

The inn keeper was so ashamed taboo taboo
The inn keeper was so ashamed taboo taboo
The inn keeper was so ashamed he fucked her back to life again and they all
said zeich hile tickle my ass taboo

The inn keeper had a trusty gun taboo taboo
The inn keeper had a trusty gun taboo taboo
The inn keeper had a trusty gun he shot the fuckers one by one and they all
said zeich hile tickle my ass taboo

Three German soldiers marched to hell taboo taboo
Three German soldiers marched to hell taboo taboo
Three German soldiers marched to hell they fuck the devil and his wife as
well and they all said zeich hile tickle my ass taboo

The moral of the story is taboo taboo
The moral of the story is taboo taboo
The moral of the story is you never fuck in a feather bed and they all said
zeich hile tickle my ass taboo

The moral of the moral is taboo taboo
The moral of the moral is taboo taboo
The moral of the moral is you always fuck in a water bed and they all said
zeich hile tickle my as taboo

The Germans thought they won the war taboo taboo
The Germans thought they won the war taboo taboo
The Germans thought they won the war the newfies won it the day before and
they all said zeich hile tickle my ass taboo!

And they all said zeich hiel tickle my ass taboo.




Walking Down My Street


Walking down my street knocking on every door
God damn son of a bitch I couldn't find the whore

Finnaly found the whore she was tall and thin
God damn son of a bitch I couldn't get it in

Finnaly got it in swished it all about,
God damn son of a bitch I couldn't get it out

Finnaly got it out it was red and sore,
God damn son of a bitch I finnaly fucked the whore

The moral of the story when knocking on every door
God damn son of a bitch never fuck the whore




A Yellow Bird

A little bird
with a little beak
was sitten on
my toliet seat
I pushed him in
I flushed him down
I watched his ass
go round and round

A Yellow bird
a yellow bill
was sitten on
my window sill
I lured him in
with a piece of bread
then I smashed
his yellow head

A bigger bird
with a bigger bill
was sitten on
my window sill
I lured him in
with a piece of bread
then I smashed
his bigger head

The docter came
to check their heads
he said for sure
these birds arnt dead
Oh me Oh my
I'm such a clutz
I missed their heads
and crushed their nuts

The morale of
this story is
if ya cant get head
really loud use your bread!

Or you can say
...
and then I kissed
his little head.
The moral of
the story is clear.
If you kiss a bird
you're probably queer.

Or...
The moral of
the story is
to get some head
you need some bread!





A Night in the Ville


Went to Kinville with Smitty and Will
To spend some money and get some thrills
Walked in the door and before I could blink
Some liittle lady said "BUY ME A DRINK"

Was a crazy sight ,thought I'd seen it all
There were women crawliin' from wall to wall
I reached in my pocket for a dollar twenty-four
She said to buy my drink you gotta pay 10 more

I said are you playing some kinda joke?
It's only two-fifty for a rum and coke!
She said "i'm kinda' lonely and I need a date
Ten bucks a drink is the going rate.

I put my cash away and I started to go
Cause Willie D. said "Let a ho be a ho"
I felt a little sorry for the bar girl troupe
Did'nt know they'd take my ass to the hoop!

Bought the girl a drink and I knew I was doomed,
Ten horny squids sat across the room.
Paid the bar fine and I grbbed her tit,
She said buy me some dinner, and I'll luv' ya no shit!

Stopped for Yakisoba then she said to me
Drive me to the alley cause I've got to pee
She walked down the alley and I leaned against the car
Then I was attacked by the squids from the bar!

Swung my tow chain and I tied em' in knots,
The girl was pissin' but she never did squat,
Looked a little closer and I knew I'd be sick,
The girl didn't squat because she had a dick!

She said "come with me and we'll make the time pass,
I said " you need a lift , shove a jack up your ass!"

Pulled out her pistol said "You're gonna be a ghost",
I shot my flame thrower and I turned her to toast!

Smitty grabbed the pistol and Will just ran,
Just another day in the "Land of the Hand"




Roll me over,
in the clover.
Lay your body next to mine,
roll it on down the line!

So I gave her inches 1.
She said baby you'er the one!
Roll me over,
in the clover.
Lay your body next to mine,
roll it on down the line.

Do I gave her inches 2
She said u-wi-u-wi-u!
Roll me over,
in the clover.
Lay your body next to mine,
roll it on down the line.

So I gave her inches 3,
She said baby that's for me!
Roll me over,
in the clover.
Lay your body next to mine,
Roll it on down the line.

So I gave her inches 4.
She said baby give me more!
Roll me over,
in the clover.
Lay your body next to mine
roll it on down the line.

So I gave her inches 5.
She said baby I'm alive!
Roll me over
in the clover.
Lay your body next to mine.
Roll it on down the line.

So I gave her inches 6,
She said baby that's for kicks.
Roll me over,
in the clover.
Lay your body next to mine,
roll it on down the line.

So I gave her inches 7,
She said baby I'm in heaven.
Roll me over,
in the clover.
Lay your body next to mine,
Roll it on down the line.

So I gave her inches 8,
She said baby that was great.
Roll me over,
in the clover.
Lay your body next to mine.
Roll it on down the line.

So I gave her inches 9.
She said baby you look fine.
Roll me over,
in the clover.
Lay your body next to mine.
Roll it on down the line.




Mrs. O'Malley


O' Mrs. O'Malley won't you come quick
Watch an Irishman play with his dick

It's as long as your arm
and round as your wrist

there's a knob on the end as big as your fist





Up Jumped a Monkey


Up jumped the monkey from the coconut grove
he was a mean mother fucker, you could tell by his clothes.
He wore a two button ditty,and a three button stitch
he was a loud mouth-mother fuckin,son of a bitch!
He lined a hundred women, up against the wall
and bet anyone, he could fuck them all.
He fucked 98 till his balls turn blue,
Then he backed off, jacked off, and fucked the other two!!!

Note: you can also sing this version

Airborne Ranger was a hell of a man!
Walked through the bar with his cock in his hand!

Shit on the table and pissed on the floor.
Then wiped his ass with a "44."

Lined a hundred women up against the wall.
Bet a hundred bucks he could fuck them all.

Fucked 98 till his cock turned blue.
Up-chucked, jammed up, fucked the other two.

When he died he went to hell.
Fucked the devil's wife and his daughter as well.

On his grave stone it read in green:
Here lies a human FUCKING MACHINE
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  #2  
Old 09-26-2004, 12:29 PM
Doc.2/47
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She was ridein down the highway
Doin ninety miles an hour
When the chain on her motorcycle broke.
An they found her in the grass
With the tailpipe up her ass
An her titties playin Dixie on the spokes.
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