Unfinished Business

[exlrrp]

I wrote this article for the E Co LRRP/C Co Ranger Association newsletter (they asked me to), sending it off today, thought you guys might like to see it

James

Unfinished Business

Just Another Unusual Distinction

I am, so far as I know, the only lrrp who received his CIB in the 21st century and awarded by a Congressman too. How this worked out was like this:
I enlisted in the Army in April, 1966, as an airborne infantryman and?Surprise!!-- that was what I wound up to be. I volunteered for the infantry, volunteered for jump school, volunteered for Vietnam, volunteered to be a lrrp. This meant getting through infantry AIT, jump school, Recondo School and later combat as a 101st grunt and E Co lrrp, about 6 months each. I doubt if many people can say that as young men they did something like this without some expectation of glory to match their desire for heroic recognition. Young soldiers want to get lots of medals, no doubt.
One of the many things I learned is that combat is not at all what it looks like in the movies. It?s a lot scarier and dirtier, too. Just being there getting the job done is the important thing. One of the things I liked better about being a lrrp than being a grunt was that it was almost always very clear what to do.
I was`there, as I say, for a year doing this. I don?t claim to have been really brave during this time?a shot here, a stab there, some grenades in the dark, a few panicked moments of inspired effort, perhaps, but mostly drudgery. I went where they told me to go and did what they told me to do. But I sure do claim to have been really there in these capacities and I mean the whole damn year. I thought the record was clear on this but I was surprised and, to say the least, disappointed when I learned it wasn?t. But it was! But it wasn?t, as we shall see.
Even though I?d spent 3`years as a paratrooper, showing, one would think, a not inconsiderable amount of extra effort, I never thought of myself as much of a hero and the Army agreed with me entirely there?I left Vietnam with no medals at all, other than the ?I Was There? stuff, not even the CIB, which everybody I knew thought was a gimme?a freebie. I would think it way beneath me to have to prove I was brave in the war but the CIB was just for having been there in the units I was with, with my MOS: 11B. I don?t claim to have been brave but I sure do claim to have been there?got the pictures!-- and that?s all it took.
After Vietnam, I wore the CIB the rest of the time I was in the Army unknowingly and nobody ever questioned it?Why would they or I?? Everybody I was with was wearing one and it really was a humble enough award among the people I was with--lots of them had other medals too. I even went through a Soldier Of the Month (HAR!) interview wearing it. It was only when I was clearing for ETS that they told me it wasn?t authorized. I knew this could only be a clerical error?if I knew it was my job to make sure I was awarded all the medals I was entitled to, I would have paid a lot more attention to it, you betcha! I mean, like in between walking point on patrols and stuff. I knew then and know now that they could have cut the orders right then but they elected not to do so (it was somebody else?s job), being happy enough to show me the door with an REMF?s DD214 as their way of saying Thanks for your participation in the Vietnam War. Fuck you very much!!
?Come, Peter, This is what comes of empire building? When I heard Breaker Morant speak those words in the movie years later I knew exactly what he meant.. Whoever else got whatever out of the Vietnam War, there sure wasn?t going to be anything for me, despite some not inconsiderable effort. I hadn?t asked what my country could do for me and sure enough, it hadn?t done anything for me. What did I expect? . To which I can add the indignity of still not being old enough to vote or drink yet. I walked out of The Army clutching my honorable discharge, grinding my teeth and feeling very, very screwed though happy enough just to be alive. 34 years of time has not changed that perception much
I mean, my feelings were HURT! But hurt feelings aren?t near as bad as a hurt body. I walked away essentially in one piece from 3 years as a paratrooper, a year of it in Vietnam as a grunt and a lrrp, so after some reflection I put the whole thing in the Win Column and moved on to other lifetime issues such as career. I didn?t need a parade to tell me who won and it was very clear I wasn?t getting one anyway.
I put away the whole Vietnam experience for over 25 years?it didn?t end up good anyway, despite my modest contribution. When I walk away from something cursing it, it STAYS cursed! In over 100 job interviews in my life, no one has ever EVER asked to see my discharge anyway. It may be illegal to for all I know.
The CIB thing became a non issue over time but I have to say it rankled, it definitely rankled whenever I thought of it. But I was sure as B3 contains cookies that I was never going to get it. I put this in the ?Fuck it!? file.
We?ll fast forward to 1998. I had just come up on the internet and one of the first things I did was make contact with the E Co/C Co organization. It was only then I learned that the lrrps had been morphed into the Rangers. That happened a year after I?d derosed, 6 months after I?d ETSed and I could have cared less. It was on to college and some of that life I?d been looking for after the war.
When I told the story about the CIB to Sam Pullara, he immediately got a letter together from the Association and mailed it back to me to sign. And there it set, right on the mantle piece for over a year. I couldn?t force myself to sign it and mail it in. A big part of this was I was scared I?d mail it in and they would say there was no evidence of my being eligible for it and I?d go bonkers. I could picture myself going postal and I did learn some people skills there in the lrrps that were truly alarming.
After a year of looking at it I started to get creepy about it and my son asked me if I was ever going to mail it. So I thought finally: Well, what the Fuck? So I mailed it.
First it came back, mailed to the wrong place. So I mailed it again. Then it came back with a form letter saying?you guessed it: There is no evidence that you are eligible for this award.
Then I got pissed!! I mean enough is enough!! But it wasn?t.
During this time, I had come in contact with several people who knew me from the lrrps, knew what we?d done, some of whom I had actually been on patrol with. I also have pictures and 65 letters I mailed to my mom that year giving dates, names, places, etc.
I mailed in the application again with statements from 3 people I served with in the lrps including the secretary of the E Co/C Co organization (now president) and my former platoon leader, someone I served with in A Co/1st 327/101st and copies of pictures that indisputably put me right there. (like http://hackworth.com/photo0022.html)
It came back months later (there?s months between all communications) saying again: Sorry, but?..
Then I got REAL pissed!!! Enough is enough is enough!!! Time for the Congressman. So I went to see my Congressman, George Miller, CA, and told the story to an aide. I asked them also for aid in getting my records which I had been trying to get for over 2 years in conjunction with filing for disability.
The waters parted!!! Within a few months (of course) they?d got my records and they call me up and asked me where I wanted the CIB ceremony to take place. And guess what?? The records said EXACTLY what I?d been saying all along?that I?d been where I said I was and did what I said I did?right there in B&W. Does this mean that they didn?t look or that they couldn?t understand the meaning of the records?
So ultimately, finally, there we find the old exlrrp standing on the back porch of an office park getting his CIB awarded in June 2002. They gave me copies of the orders and a nice letter from the very same person (Col Deborah Ivory) who had turned me down the first 3 times, saying what an honor it was. Ever since Vietnam, Irony has always slain me. . I almost feel it should have a star on it as I had to fight 2 wars to get it?one to get eligible for it and the other to get it. But I DID get it, where I had truly lost all hope of things ever being made right.
So I?ll bet not only am I the only lrrp who got his CIB awarded in the 21st century from a Congressman, I?ll bet I?m the only one you know who had to apply for it 4 times (not counting the time it was mailed to the wrong place) I?m putting that one in the Win Column too, finally. . Lrrps always win?just don?t ask us how.
I really want to thank everyone who helped me get this but especially Sam Pullara who got it rolling where I never would have on my own. Thanks Sam!! It truly would not have gotten done without you.
An unusual distinction indeed but lrrps are just unusual people. I bet you knew that already
James

[exlrrp]

sorry about the size of the download, I posted it in haste
here it is again

[BLUEHAWK]

Amazing... thanks James