The Patriot Files Forums  

Go Back   The Patriot Files Forums > General > General Posts

Post New Thread  Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 02-22-2007, 06:06 AM
Boats's Avatar
Boats Boats is offline
Senior Member

Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Sauk Village, IL
Posts: 21,857
Default You gotta love Engineer's

You Gotta Love Engineer?s

Three guys, a Canadian farmer, Osama bin laden and an American engineer
are together one day. They come across a lantern and a genie pops out.

"I will give each of you one wish, which is three wishes total," said
the genie.

The Canadian says, I am a farmer, my dad was a farmer and so will my son be
a farmer. I want all Canadian farm lands to be forever fertile."

Pooooof! In the blink of an eye, all Canadian farms were forever fertile for

Osama bin laden was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around Afghanistan, Iraq and Iran so that no infidels, Jews or Americans, can come into our
precious state?s."

Pooooof! Once more in a blink of an eye, there was a huge wall around
all those countries.

The American engineer asks, "I am very curious, please tell me more
about this wall."

"Well," the genie says, "It's about 5000 feet high, 500 feet thick and
completely surrounds the countries. Nothing, and I mean nothing, can get
in or out. - it?s impenetrable."
The American engineer says... fine - ?fill it with water."

O Almighty Lord God, who neither slumberest nor sleepest; Protect and assist, we beseech thee, all those who at home or abroad, by land, by sea, or in the air, are serving this country, that they, being armed with thy defence, may be preserved evermore in all perils; and being filled with wisdom and girded with strength, may do their duty to thy honour and glory; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

sendpm.gif Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
Old 02-22-2007, 09:26 AM
39mto39g 39mto39g is offline

Join Date: Dec 1969
Posts: 6,380

The Americans wish was
"please, tell me more about this wall"
His second wish was Fill it.

But thats sounds good anyway.

Reply With Quote
Old 02-22-2007, 01:29 PM
QM3steve's Avatar
QM3steve QM3steve is offline
Senior Member

Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Central NY (Baseball Hall of Fame)
Posts: 1,012
Send a message via AIM to QM3steve

An optomist: The glass is half full
A pessimist: The glass is half empty
An Engineer: The glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
No one is completely useless. They can always be used as a bad example.
sendpm.gif Reply With Quote
Old 02-22-2007, 04:43 PM
82Rigger's Avatar
82Rigger 82Rigger is offline
Senior Member

Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Fort Walton Beach, Florida
Posts: 3,591
Send a message via AIM to 82Rigger
VOM Contributor 

Q : What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers?

A : Mechanical Engineers build weapons, Civil Engineers build targets.

Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible designers of the human body.

One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints."

Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections."

The last said, "It had to be a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?''

An engineering student was walking across campus when another engineer rides up on a shiny new motorcycle. "Where did you get such a great bike?" asked the first.

The second engineer replied "Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said 'Take what you want.'"

The first engineer nodded approvingly, "Good choice! Her clothes probably wouldn't have fit you."

One day a group of engineers got together and decided that man had come a long way and no longer needed God. They picked one engineer to go and tell Him that they were done with Him. The engineer walked up to God and said, "God, we've decided that we no longer need you. We're to the point that we can clone people and do many miraculous things, so why don't you just go on and get lost."

God listened patiently to the man and after the engineer was done talking, God said, "Very well! How about this? Let's have a man-making contest."

The man replied, "Okay, great!"

But God added, "Now we're going to do this just like I did back in the old days with Adam."

The engineers said, "Sure, no problem." He bent down and grabbed himself a handful of dirt.

God just looked at him, smiled, and said, "No, no, no! Go get your own dirt!"

You might be an engineer if . . .

. . . you know vector calculus but you can?t remember how to do long division.

. . . you?ve actually used every single function on your calculator.

. . . you have a pet named after a scientist.

. . . the Humane Society has had you arrested because you actually performed the Schroedinger?s Cat Experiment.

. . . you consider any non-science course ?easy.?

. . . you can translate English into Binary.

. . . you have no life and can prove it mathematically.

. . . you laugh at jokes about mathematicians.

. . . when your professor asks you where your homework is, you claim to have accidentally determined its momentum so precisely, that according to Heisenberg it could be anywhere in the universe.

. . . you assume that a ?horse? is a ?sphere? in order to make the math easier.

. . . you understood all of these indicators.

""Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln,how did you like the play?"

Steve / 82Rigger
sendpm.gif Reply With Quote
Old 02-23-2007, 12:34 AM
39mto39g 39mto39g is offline

Join Date: Dec 1969
Posts: 6,380

Thats funny.
I think you could probably pick any profession and do that.
Do Cops, Do Cops.

Reply With Quote

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
You gotta love this lawyer! HARDCORE General Posts 1 05-19-2010 11:20 PM
Gotta love that Japanese sense of humor revwardoc General Posts 1 04-26-2007 08:09 AM
Gotta love cars..... melody1181 General Posts 9 04-13-2006 01:48 AM
Ya Gotta Love frisco-kid General Posts 2 11-10-2005 04:08 AM
Chicago Bears..... Ya gotta love em...not kenmar General Posts 1 01-16-2003 08:08 PM

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 06:41 PM.

Powered by vBulletin, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.