Personal Dilema

[darrels joy]

I met a man at work. I had already been told that he was a disabled veteran so was prepared to be supportive of any problem(s) that he had.

After being introduced, I went back later with paperwork.

I asked what branch he served in and was directed to the discharge from the Navy framed and posted on his wall. It was dated 1980.

I told him that my son was serving in the Navy (2nd Class, gunners Mate in Fallon). He asked where Fallon was. I told him. He asked why there was a Navy base there. I told him that Top Gun trains there. His response was "I thought they were Army. I thought the Blue Angels were Navy.'

I told him that Pete was in the bomb disposal unit. He didn't understand why the Navy needed a bomb disposal unit.

He then told me that he served for 1 year 8 months and was medically retired due to a motorcycle accident, said goodbye and turned his back.

On the plus side-he volunteered to serve his country.

On the minus side-he emphasizes his military disability/retirement when I know many who have done more and been given less.

It is my habit to thank all of you for your service whenever or where ever we meet.

I just don't know what to say to this man. :cd:

Joy

[BLUEHAWK]

Joy, if I may offer...

One might talk about how SO many things have changed since he was in, and how ALL the familiar names are confusing to everyone else just as much as they are to him.

I am in his similar boat myself... so it is very nice when someone younger or smarter is a bit gentle introducing us to the changes.

It makes us feel still involved with what matters, when our memories are a tad shy of fullness.

Our eyes light up when the young and smart ones SHOW and teach us special things... especially about military things as they are today.

... makes us feel like that we're still doing our part to help, any which way.

Maybe there is a Blue Angels and some other such videos to help a person sort out who is doing what. For some, just the sight of military patches of all kinds (like we have here on PF avatar gallery), sparks memory. Some people learn better visually

Maybe what he most wants is to play a small role in helping win the war, to be with his closest friends again, from whom he feels left or cast out, and he is worried.

[frisco-kid]

You don't have to say anything more to this guy, Joy. You don't owe him anything. He didn't seem too receptive the first time, to the point of rude. Plus, if he only did 1yr., 8mos., he wasn't RETIRED, he was DISCHARGED, on a medical. Big difference. And not even from a service connected injury [motorcycle accident?], so doesn't REALLY qualify as a disabled vet as far as I'm concerned. Sounds to me like he's tweeking the truth a little bit for whatever strokes he can glean from it. To hell with this guy. I recommend you don't waste anymore energy on him. And the next time you here him say he retired from the Navy, point out the difference to him.

[catman]

Mixed emotions on this one. On one hand I fully agree with Tom, he wants all the rewards from a war going on and has done basically nothing to deserve it.....on the other had, everything you do 24/7 while on active duty is compensatible. Guess I would have to know more about the guy before I could say more.

On a personal note, from what you have stated, think he might be searching for something that is not his.

Trav

[Arrow]

Good advise Frisco...

although it'spossible he was medically retired...

the kids daddy was not medically discharged he was medically retired...

DOD has me as a military dependent

I carry a military ID card that has his status as USA/RET/DEC

My health insurance is Tricare and not Champ VA...

Paco could probably pull up my info on his 'puter at work if he has access to DOD files andfind out everything there is to know about me but was afraid to ask..

[frisco-kid]

Arrow, your husband was on, what, his third or fourth enlistment? Long enough to be considered a career soldier. This guy didn't even complete one half of one 4yr. Navy enlistment. You're not retired even after completing your first enlistment, you're discharged. Bill died of illness brought on by coming into contact with AO while performing his military duty in a war zone. This guy dumped his bike. Not even a close comparisan.

Hope all's good with you, Darlin'. We haven't talked for awhile. I'll have to fix that soon .

[BLUEHAWK]

Gotta admit, the guy seems to be a bit tetched in the head... hard to know, not being there with him... surely he knew the difference between discharge and retirement, or is just plain senile.

I tend to go easy on people as a rule anyway, if they have delusions then they have delusions... there are worse diseases, so long as truly false claims of valor aren't being made... obviously.

I'm visiting one of my daughters here in NYC at this moment, directly across (1st Ave & 23rd St) from a huge VA hospital. On the street downstairs yesterday afternoon was an old guy, unshaven, not dressed real badly or dirty, standing there saluting everyone who passed by, telling anyone who might listen that he had been in the US Army. I watched him for quite awhile... nobody paid the least attention to him. We went off for a bite to eat, came back about two hours later, and he was still standing there, saluting. I walked in front of him, turned to faced him, and returned his salute. He said thank you... and a few minutes later walked off back toward the hospital. I don't know or care if he was in the Army or for how long or where he served... he wanted his salute returned.

By far the greatest majority of anyone who ever wore a uniform in service of any branch did not serve in or anywhere close to combat, nor experience physical/mental consequences of that... which does not make their service any less meaningful, to them.

It's that normal human drive to be "a part of" rather than "apart from."

[Seascamp]

The guy seems to have the emphasis on the wrong syllable and I would tend to react to that as a handicap the same as I would view anyone who doesn?t seem to have the bubble between the lines. I just try to avoid the hot buttons and train wreck scenarios if a continuous association is necessary. Beyond that, I?m not sure what can be done. Those situations tend to be self-defining and get a work place result, so just low profiling and letting the inevitable occur works as well, assuming there is no inherent risk or danger.

There seems to be a lot of walking wounded around and in our own individual way I think we learn to cope with these situations, do what is reasonable, and then press on.

I went to bat once for a guy that claimed to be the sole survivor of a VC ambush, etc. and was quite an emotional mess. Turns out he was an Army supply clerk with the Americal at Chu Li and OD?d on some heroin, got some brain damage and became basically dysfunctional. Sad stories often have cover stories and it is helpful to know the real sad story from the get-go, but all too often that is not possible.

Scamp

[Arrow]

Blue...

That was a very kind and human thing to do...

Frisco...

The kids daddy was at the end of his second enlistment and no doubt would have reinlisted. We survived Bolivia and thought we had survived Viet Nam. We were riding high on orders to go to Milan Italy.Both of us looking forward to it whenwe were given thedx of Malignant Lymphoma, (reticulum cell sarcoma) (may be Permanent Disabling-100%) (quoting from his clinical record here)I guess so....Certificate of Deathreads immediate cause of death reticulum cellsarcoma.

I agree it's a stretch from his death to a motorcyle accident but read this posted by Stick sometime back...

Why does this piss me off?

I was at the wife?s store yesterday when a handicap van pulls up dropping off a load of people in wheel chairs to go to the movie theater beside the store. One of the guys was wearing a U.S. Navy baseball cap and I went out to talk with him. The man had been in the wheel chair for thirty-seven years, paralyzed on the right side and was handicapped while in the Navy and based in Hawaii. He was riding his motorcycle and in a terrible accident which left him in that condition.
What gets me is that for the last thirty-seven years it has been the VA system that has taken care of him. They have paid for his care. Provided his housing. Provided his food and cooked it for him. Provided his electric wheel chairs and provided his tax-free income. He is "Service Connected." and that ticks me off enough that at 4:00 this morning I wake up pissed off. Don't know why, but it does.


Come on now; Hawaii, screwing around on a motorcycle, thirty-seven years ago, if he had a motorcycle in Hawaii he was based there. VA full service connected disability with loss of use payments and fully tax-free.
Maybe I was just shot at too many times.

this is what came to mind when I read Joy's post...:cd:

[Packo]

Sis, yep, I probably could find you on the system....but would never ever do that. I have no need to know and that would be unethical as hell! (Gee, are those really your measurements! Wow!)

If any of these people your discussing here were "boarded out" with a 30% rating or higher, (not a VA rating), they are considered medically retired. 20% or below, medically discharged no retired card or bennies, just a lump sum payment which, after they get a VA claim, is deducted from their VA comp until it evens out.

Pack