12 Rules of Life

[kenmar]

Sometimes we just need to remember what the 12 Rules of Life really
are:

1. Never give yourself a haircut after three margaritas.

2. You need only two tools: WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move
and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and shouldn't, use the tape.

3. The five most essential words for a healthy, vital relationship
are "I apologize" and "you are right."

4. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

5. Never pass up an opportunity to pee.

6. If he/she says that you are too good for him/her -- believe them.

7. Learn to pick your battles; ask yourself, "Will this matter one
year from now? How about one month? One week? One day?"

8. When you make a mistake, make amends immediately. It's easier to
eat crow while it's still warm.

9. If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You have another
chance!

10. Living well really is the best revenge. Being miserable because
of a bad or former relationship just might mean that the other person
was right about you.

11. Work is good, but it's not that important. Money is nice, but
you can't take it with you. Statistics show most people don't live
to spend all they saved; some die even before they retire. Anything we
have isn't really ours; it's on loan to us while we're here ...even
our kids.

12. And finally...Be really good to yourfamilyand/or friends. You
never know when you are going to need them to empty your bedpan.

[Boats]

Ken,

I agree with you 100%.

[kenmar]

Thanks Boats, and since you were the first to agree with me, I won't ask you to do any bedpan duty .

[reconeil]

Still my Friend, and even though quite hard to improve on perfection,...Me Thinks that no.3 is missing the most important suggestion of all.

Therefore, I would suggest changing: "The five most" to The 8 most... . The 3 additional words being: "CREATIVELY lie well".

Sorry to be such a nit-picker.
Neil

[philly]

Kenmar,

It's an honest way to look at yourself and pick out your weaknesses for fine tuning..

[kenmar]

Neil, we'll have to make that change to # 3, ..we'll call it the "First Amendment"

[kenmar]

Originally posted by philly
Kenmar, It's an honest way to look at yourself and pick out your weaknesses for fine tuning..

I think I would have prefered it stated as:

"It's an honest way to look at oneself and pick outone's weaknesses for fine tuning. "

Just jokin'...

[philly]

Yes, if you want to be exact.

Sometimes we look at things through spotted glasses. It's up to us, as individuals, to recognize we need to wipe away the residue so that we are able to see things more clearly..

[kenmar]

I need windsheild wipers on my glasses.

[philly]

Windshield wipers? Heck, I have to go through the car wash to get mine clean. Your kindness always seems to shine through..