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#1
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These Are Really Good
> >
> > On some air bases the Air Force is on one side of the field and civilian > > aircraft use the other side of the field, with the control tower in the > > middle. One day the tower received a call from an aircraft asking, "What time > > is it?" > > > > The tower responded, "Who is calling?" The aircraft replied, "What difference > > does it make?" > > > > The tower replied "It makes a lot of difference. > > > > If it is an American Airlines flight, it is 3 o'clock. > > If it is an Air Force plane, it is 1500 hours. > > If it is a Navy aircraft, it is 6 bells. > > If it is an Army aircraft, the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand is > > on the 3. > > If it is a Marine Corps aircraft, it's Thursday afternoon and 120 minutes to > > "Happy Hour." > > > > ********************* > > > > During training exercises, the lieutenant who was driving down a muddy back > > road encountered another car stuck in the mud with a red-faced colonel at the > > wheel. "Your jeep stuck, sir?" asked the lieutenant as he pulled alongside. > > > > "Nope," replied the colonel, coming over and handing him the keys, "Yours > > is." > > > > **************************** > > > > Having just moved into his new office, a pompous, new colonel was sitting at > > his desk when an airman knocked on the door. Conscious of his new position, > > the colonel quickly picked up the phone, told the airman to enter, then said > > into the phone, "Yes, General, I'll be seeing him this afternoon and I'll > > pass along your message. In the meantime, thank you for your good wishes, > > sir." > > > > Feeling as though he had sufficiently impressed the young enlisted man, he > > asked, "What do you want?" > > > > "Nothing important, sir," the airman replied, "I'm just here to hook up your > > telephone." > > > > ********************** > > > > Officer: "Soldier, do you have change for a dollar?" > > Soldier: "Sure, buddy." > > Officer: "That's no way to address an officer! Now let's try it again!" > > Officer: "Soldier. Do you have change for a dollar?" > > Soldier: "No, SIR!" > > > > ******************************** > > > > Q: How do you know if there is a fighter pilot at your party? > > A: He'll tell you. > > > > Q: What's the difference between God and fighter pilots > > A: God doesn't think he's a fighter pilot. > > > > Q: What's the difference between a fighter pilot and a jet engine? > > A: A jet engine stops whining when the plane shuts down. > > > > **************************** > > > > An Air Force Chief Master Sargent and a General were sitting in the > > barbershop. They were both just getting finished with their shaves, when the > > barbers reached for some after-shave to slap on their faces. > > > > The General shouted, "Hey, don't put that stuff on me! My wife will think > > I've been in a whorehouse!" > > > > The Chief turned to his barber and said, "Go ahead and put it on. My wife > > doesn't know what the inside of a whorehouse smells like." > > > > **************************** > > > > "Well," snarled the tough old Navy Chief to the bewildered Seaman. "I suppose > > after you get discharged from the Navy, you'll just be waiting for me to die > > so you can come and piss on my grave." > > > > "Not me, Chief!" the Seaman replied. "Once I get out of the Navy, I'm never > > going to stand in line again!"
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*Bravo out* |
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#2
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Bravo,
I like the one where the officer is asking change. That was really good!! ha ha Thanks for the little chuckles.
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Boats O Almighty Lord God, who neither slumberest nor sleepest; Protect and assist, we beseech thee, all those who at home or abroad, by land, by sea, or in the air, are serving this country, that they, being armed with thy defence, may be preserved evermore in all perils; and being filled with wisdom and girded with strength, may do their duty to thy honour and glory; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen. "IN GOD WE TRUST" |
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