I need a little humor

[Boats]

http://pageperso.aol.fr/marcbrecy/deanmartin.html

[revwardoc]

That was great! I loved the Dean Martin Show! Remember the Gold Diggers, his dance troupe? They went on a USO tour of VN and left from my AF base in CA with Bob Hope, Joey Heatherton, and Miss World. They posed for publicity shots with us, I shook hands with Bob and posed with Joey (Gawd, she was hot!).

[Boats]

Here's one from my sister -


----- Original Message -----
Subject: WANT COFFEE


An Indian walks into a cafe with a shotgun in one hand pulling a male buffalo with the other. He says to the waiter: "Want coffee."



The waiter says, "Sure, Chief. Coming right up."



He gets the Indian a tall mug of coffee. The Indian drinks the coffee down in one gulp, turns and blasts the buffalo with the shotgun, causing parts of the animal to splatter everywhere and then just walks out.



The next morning the Indian returns. He has his shotgun in one hand, pulling another male buffalo with the other. He walks up to the counter and says to the waiter "Want coffee."



The waiter says "Whoa, Tonto! We're still cleaning up your mess from yesterday. What was all that about, anyway?"



The Indian smiles and proudly says "Training for position in United States Congress: Come in, drink coffee, shoot the bull, leave mess for others to clean up, disappear for rest of day.

[Jerry D]

thats a good one Boats

[Boats]

Here is another from my Sister:

Why, Why, Why
do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are going dead?

Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough money?

Why does someone believe you when you say

there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?


Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "Lisp"?

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?


Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down,

pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from
the end on your first try?

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

When we

are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right!

Why is it that whenever you attempt
to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

How come you never hear father- in-law jokes?

And my FAVORITE......
The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.

[covan]

Thanks, Boats (and sister)

I loved 'em