I went into treatment for alcoholism, and PTSD at the same time, while I was still on active duty, the program was an 10 week in-hospital prgram. This was in July 1987, it was the first time I had to face my issues with Vietnam. Was in definte denial, even refused to go the vet center in Los Angeles,( this almost cost me my rank E-6), so I decided to go, I just shut everyone out who was in the room, and wouldn't say anything. The 4th time I went to the vet center, a guy started talking about Dak To and what he went through there in 67, I jumped up and started yelling what the "FU@% do you know about Dak To, I guess 17 years of anger and hate started to come out, no one said anything to me, they just let me spew what was coming out of my mouth. When I was done, I fell back into my chair and felt like a hughe burden had just been lifted from my chest, I was crying and didn't even know it. One of the vets in the group a marine vet looked at me and said,
I love you brother, welcome home." From then on, I started to learn how to live with the beast. I still go to a vet group here in Sacramento. I won't be fooled by the beast and think it will go away and never come back. After I got out of treatment, I declined promotion to E-7, and retired after 22 years active duty, I had enough, and knew I would be just taking up space for some one who wanted to stay on active duty.
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If your going to suceed your going to have to know how to deal with failure. (Joe Torre).
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02-02-2005, 06:43 PM
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