Looking for ideas

[b3196]

Sept 25th, I'm the best man at my brothers wedding and I have to give the traditional speech/toast. What I dont want to do (A direct order from my wife) is embarrass or gross anyone out, of which I have a tendency to do from time to time.
What the hell do you say to someone who decides to get married for the third time without calling him a dumbass like his younger brother.
Bob K

[DMZ-LT]

" May they find the joy and happiness they so richly deserve." Want me to make some brownnies for the reception ? :re:

[82Rigger]

Ha ha!

California brownies!

[Andy]

I?d tell some warm and loving stories starting with him as a kid and work your way to early adulthood. (Avoid stories that involve other wives.) Make him out to be a loving person who cares for others. Then end it by saying, ?Of course he was sober back then.?
John?s brownies, along with the traditional vodka will make everyone forget what you said, so it really doesn?t matter. I wouldn?t stress.

Stay healthy,
Andy

[b3196]

John
Green brownies.... Cool!!! When you bake the brownies do the seeds explode?

Andy
I will definitely use that line "Of course he was sober back then"
Now I have to build my speech around that..... Thanks pal
Bob K

[revwardoc]

Bob K,

The trick is to take the seeds out before cooking, and the twigs. There's nothing worse than biting into an "Alice B. Toklas" brownie and pulling what feels like a damn branch out of it with your teeth.

And when you give the toast, at least be half-ass sober yourself! When one of my cousin's sons was married, his younger brother (the best man) gave the speech and forgot to leave, what we call in Beantown, his "blue" language at home. And my aunt, a nun for 53 years, was there! Of course he wasn't embarrased until the next day when he viewed the tapes. He promptly called my aunt and apologized...and she called off the contract on his soul.

[39mto39g]

Use the friends TV show Toast.

I have known ___________ and ___________ seperatly and I have know _____________and ____________ as a couple and they togeather are so much happier. And so on.

Make sure your standing next to the bride so you can fake her grabbing your butt and tell her to stop that.

Ron

[Andy]

Also, you should avoid introduction the bride as, "My brother's future ex-wife." It always gets a laugh but helps perpetuate that rumor about you and the sheep. Course that sheep was pretty cute.

Stay healthy,
Andy

Bob-

Don't forget to stop by.Can't wait to see just how much gray Nancy an Donny's visit put in your hair.

[b3196]

You guys have been a big help.....We all eat Brownes with green seeds and twigs baked by John. Followed by a speech where I refer to my new sister-in-law as the soon to be ex-wife as she fondles my ass. Then I call my brother a total lush (which he is). and during this I have to remain half-ass sober which also means I should be half-ass drunk. maybe I should finish it off with a sheep on a leash standing by my side with a butt plug inserted.
Hopefully there wont be any nuns there.


Andy
I explained this to you once before
John - Sheep
Bob - cows

Ron
Its sounds good....Now how do I incorporate the part about Knowing him when he was sober?

Hal
We will be heading out on Sunday morning Sept 26th. I'll call
you this coming weekend.

Bob K