Worthless soldiers

[1CAVCCO15MED]

Excellent medics. Some guys for Charlie Company, 15th Med. Really, would you want to lead these guys into combat? But if you are hurt, buddy you have come to the right place. Note the beard on one of our "Muslims". He had a typical Muslim name: Adams. He was one of the crazy Canadians. They had went to the chaplain and said they were Shiites and if they did not wear a beard, a turban and a scimitar sword if they got killed they would go to hell. It was all a sham just to piss off the NCO's. They grew the beards and spent the rest of their tours "looking " for turbans and swords.

[1CAVCCO15MED]

Sideways.

[1CAVCCO15MED]

I was standing in the doorway when it hit. The crater is in front of Garcia there.

[frisco-kid]

A rowdy looking bunch, indeed.......I like 'em. What ever happened to "Newest Tom" Breaux? I haven't seen him post forever.

How'd the boys like your shirt on Wednesday?

[1CAVCCO15MED]

Try again. Lorton, our casualty reporter, was sitting on the mound of dirt next to the crater reading a Playboy when it went off. I got a scratch and he got some dirt imbedded in his chest. All that paper on the ground is nekkid women' pictures. It was my only Purple Heart and his fifth in his one tour. He was another crazy LRRP as well as the other crazy Canadian Shiite Muslim.

[1CAVCCO15MED]

It buried into some soft earth we had dumped there from excavations.

[1CAVCCO15MED]

He says he still reads some but is busy at his new job. I have been busy myself with us finding more guys from my company. It is up to eleven, I think. I have found that I am actually doing better than most of them with this PTSD thing. I think I can credit good therapy for that. The guys are usually very happy to hear form us but then they seem not to pursue keeping contact. I think they have some old bad memories come back and they shut it down.

The latest news is we have found Benbow's family. He is the guy that committed suicide in my company and is the subject of the poem "Bluebird". His folks are dead but he has two sisters and I have told them the most of what happened and why he did it. It has been so good. Thirty three years and I still love those guys.

[frisco-kid]

I will always remember him and your poem, Doc. I'm glad that hooking up with these guys are bringing you some level of peace. I hope it starts working for them in kind.

I haven't actively sought out anybody from Nam. I've often wondered about a few of them, but never had the nerve to seek them out. I think alot of that has had to do with me effectively burying some things. Some of it I want to stay buried. It's more comfortable there. One of my fears about this trip back to Nam was stirring up some things to the surface that I didn't want to dwell on. That didn't happen much. I did recall some long-forgotten heroes, including myself. Some names that hadn't crossed my lips in decades, and that wasn't all bad.

I wish you nothing but peace, Fred

[MORTARDUDE]

I have personally contacted 4 other comrades and attempted to contact one other. Only two of this group have willingly talked to me at any length. The first contact spent 6+ hours on the phone with me and we still talk occasionally. The others are very reluctant to open up about it...Vietnam is still buried in a lot of psyches and will begin to come to the surface as more of us retire and have too much time to dwell on all of it....

Larry

[1CAVCCO15MED]

Tom and Larry, it is just lately that I have been able to think about finding them myself. Same as you, too many memories I wanted to leave buried. But it became a choice between losing what little mental ability I had left or turning around and facing what I have been running from all these years. There are people out there who can help with this and I have been lucky enough to find the very best both here and at the VA. I guess we all have felt like the load is so heavy we just don't want to add any more weight. What the miracle is is that if done with the proper guidence the load gets much lighter.

Part of the motivation is my age. I am rapidly leaving middle age and approaching old and I think there is this instinct to tie up loose ends and get life in as good an order as you can. Old age is when the chickens come home to roost. Mental defenses break down and all comes back in spite of yourself. Then it is too late. At least that is the way it is for me. When you get old all you have is your past and that is what you think about.