Christmas Nears & I Am Getting Too Damned Old

[HARDCORE]

12-1-2023

Well, another three-hundred and thirty days (or so) has come and gone and “Old Saint Nick” is getting ready again to make his annual run! But one thing, however, remains a fact of life at “The Old North Pole” and that is that: “We Decaying Older Elves Ain’t Getting Any Younger!” Our bones are beginning to creek, our joints are worn thin, and “Old Lady Claus” is growing even more crotchety!

I took “The Old Sleigh” out for a test run last night, and even with the shortage of “The White Stuff ” it still seems to be handling O.K., even if one of the runners does appear to be getting a little warped with time! And the ever aging old elves just ain’t moving as fast as they use to either, but then for that matter, neither am I!

After all, with several centuries of wear and tear upon that damn old sleigh and even though I keep it in pretty good repair, time in those little gray cells is still beginning to catch-up with all of the still working things around here at “The Pole”, including me! And after all is said and done, even ‘Viagra’, which is in short supply around these parts, can do just so much to keep “The Old Joints” greased-up and ready for action, “Or So I Am Told?”

But like it is every other year about this time, I will just have to do a few laps around the nearest snow bank, and that should loosen me up enough to prepare for my annual foray into the world of those eager little children! You know, maybe I am just getting too damned old to be traipsing around the planet with all of those (also aging) “Barfly-Elves”, that stagger-out from beneath those monumental snow drifts up here at “The Old North Pole”, every year about this time, and they just ain’t what they use to be?! Besides that, they (Elves) have been giving me a bit of their cold shoulders of late, ever since their attempts to unionize, and there ain’t nothing worst that sliding around upon a little frozen booty, unless it is listening to those hob-goblins that also infest these digs, a few thousand miles to the south of me, down in “Old Washington D.C.?” Hi-Ho, Hi Ho, it’s off to work (of one kind or another) again we go!

Hardcore