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Old 03-24-2007, 06:18 AM
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QM3steve QM3steve is offline
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Default I wish...

It's late; you are sleeping good. The pager goes off in the middle of
the night.
You quickly rush to get on your way;
your help is needed.

A family's house is on fire.

I wish you could know what it is like to search a burning bedroom for
trapped children at 3 AM , flames rolling above your head, your palms and
knees burning as you crawl, the floor sagging under your weight as the
kitchen below you burns.

I wish you could comprehend a wife's horror at 6 in the morning as I
check her husband of 40 years for a pulse and find none. I start CPR
anyway, hoping to bring him back, knowing intuitively it is too late.
But wanting his wife and family to know everything possible was done to
try and save his life.

I wish you knew the unique smell of burning insulation, the taste of
soot-filled mucus, the feeling of intense heat through your turnout
gear, the sound of flames crackling, the eeriness of being able to see
absolutely nothing in dense smoke-sensations that I've become too
familiar with.

I wish you could read my mind as I respond to a building fire. Is this a
false alarm or a working fire? How is the building constructed? What
hazards await me? Is anyone trapped?

Or to call and ask what is wrong with the patient? Is it minor or life
threatening?
Is the caller really in distress or is he waiting for me with a 2x4 or a
gun?

I wish you could be in the emergency room, as a doctor pronounces dead,
the beautiful five-year old girl that I have been trying to save during
the past 25 minutes, knowing she will never go on her first date or say
the words, "I love you Mommy", ever again.

I wish you could know the frustration I feel in the cab of the engine,
ambulance, or my personal vehicle, my foot pressing down hard on the gas
pedal, as you fail to yield the right-of-way at an intersection or in
traffic.

When you need me however, your first comment upon my arrival will be,
"It took you forever to get here!"

I wish you could know my thoughts as I help extricate a girl of teenage
years from the remains of her automobile. What if this was my daughter,
sister, my wife or a friend? What were her parents reactions going to
be when they opened the door to find a police officer with hat in hand?

I wish you could know how it feels to walk in the back door and greet my
parents and family, not having the heart to tell them that I nearly did
not come back from the last call.

I wish you could know how it feels dispatching officers, firefighters
and Paramedic's out and when we call for them and our heart drops
because no one answers back or to here a bone chilling 911 call of a
child or wife needing assistance.

I wish you could feel the hurt as people verbally and sometimes
physically abuse us or belittle what I do, or as they express their
attitudes of "It will never happen to me".

I wish you could realize the physical, emotional and mental drain of
missed meals, lost sleep and forgone social activities .. in addition to
all the tragedy my eyes have seen.

I wish you could know the brotherhood and self-satisfaction of helping
save a life or preserving someone's property, or being able to be there
in time of crisis, or creating order from total chaos.

I wish you could understand what it feels like to have a little boy
tugging at your arm and asking, "Is my Mommy okay?", not even being able
to look in his eyes without tears from your own and not knowing what to
say.

Or to have to hold back a long time friend who watches his buddy having
CPR done on him as they take him away in the EMS Unit. You know all
along he did not have his seat belt on. A sensation that I have become
too familiar with. Unless you have lived with this kind of life, you
will never truly understand or appreciate who I am, we are, or what our
job really means to us...

I wish you could though.
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