Some Police Jokes

[reeb]

True stupid stories 01
Really Stupid People

Police in Wichita, Kansas, arrested a 22-year-old man at an airport hotel after he tried to pass two (counterfeit) $16 bills.

A man in Johannesberg, South Africa, shot his 49-year-old friend in the face, seriously wounding him, while the two practiced shooting beer cans off each other's head.

A company trying to continue its five-year perfect safety record showed its workers a film aimed at encouraging the use of safety goggles on the job. According to Industrial Machinery News, the film's depiction of gory industrial accidents was so graphic that twenty-five workers suffered minor injuries in their rush to leave the screening room. Thirteen others fainted, and one man required seven stitches after he cut his head falling off a chair while watching the film.

The Chico, California, City Council enacted a ban on nuclear weapons, setting a $500 fine for anyone detonating one within city limits.

A bus carrying five passengers was hit by a car in St. Louis, but by the time police arrived on the scene, fourteen pedestrians had boarded the bus and had begun to complain of whiplash injuries and back pain.

Swedish business consultant Ulf af Trolle labored 13 years on a book about Swedish economic solutions. He took the 250-page manuscript to be copied, only to have it reduced to 50,000 strips of paper in seconds when a worker confused the copier with the shredder.

A convict broke out of jail in Washington D.C., then a few days later accompanied his girlfriend to her trial for robbery. At lunch, he went out for a sandwich. She needed to see him, and thus had him paged. Police officers recognized his name and arrested him as he returned to the courthouse in a car he had stolen over the lunch hour.

Police in Radnor, Pennsylvania, interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine. The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth. Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect confessed.

When two service station attendants in Ionia, Michigan, refused to hand over the cash to an intoxicated robber, the man threatened to call the police. They still refused, so the robber called the police and was arrested.

A Los Angeles man who later said he was "tired of walking," stole a steamroller and led police on a 5 mph chase until an officer stepped aboard and brought the vehicle to a stop.

Ifn ya like these, I will put more on later date.

enough........

[Timothy R. Kuhr]

No stupid stories

[Timothy R. Kuhr]

Screwed up again.
Or as usual. No stupid stories (those were really good). Just want thank all those volunteer FD and PD people out there. My brother had a heart attack Monday and the local volunteers in Leroy, Mn. had him in a chopper in 5 min. He died today but he wouldn't have made it to Rochester without their help. Ya done good, people, as usual!

[SEATJERKER]

...We would like to express our condolences during this time of grief...

...Prayers sent,...

...

[catman]

Tim...sorry for your loss. May God be with you and your family and help you all throught this time. Take care brother.

Trav

[DMZ-LT]

God bless you and your family. Lost my brother 14 years ago today, it don't get easier. Peace

[reeb]

Tim,

Sorry for your loss.

Our thoughts are with you to help out in times of need.

God Bless ...

reeb and Karen

[SuperScout]

Prayers of comfort to you and your family. You have shown us a miracle, in offering thanks for the volunteers in the midst of your loss. May the Peace of our Good Lord be yours!
Brice

[Timothy R. Kuhr]

Thanks to everyone for your thoughts and prayers. And thanks again to those volunteers. Ya can't win them all but it's good to have people who try!