Diving in Snow, is it just me?

[Gimpy]

Originally Posted by b3196

Ma der southern bro General Gimpinski
I have but a few more questions before I make the big exodus

Can I park my camper trailer on the street in front of my house(or other houses)?

ANSWER= NO!---Gimp

Can my pitbulls roam the neighborhood freely or do I hav'ta chain em up
on the front lawn?

ANSWER= NO---Pit bulls are outlawed in this section of the Bay area.---Gimp

Can I skinny dip in your "concrete" pool?

ANSWER= HELL NO!---That white old wrinkled up skin of yourn's would scare the livin sh-t outa mah good lookin neighbor fishin buddyof mine, Sam (remember her? --Samantha with them two GREAT BIG OLE BASS!)---Gimp


Can I change the engine in my pickem truck in my driveway (or yours incase I dont make
it home)?

ANSWER= NO!


Can I repaint my house? Im partial to purple and yellow

ANSWER= NO! We are in a "Deed restricted" neighborhood where ALL outside improvements to any residents home MUST be approved beforehand. I am on the Board of Directors for the Homeowners Association and we don't allow any "Yankee colors" like purple, yellow, pink, chartruse, ocher, orange (unless your a Florida gator alumni), or any other crazy yankee colors!---Gimp


Can I drink beer in my garage with the door open while yelling obsenities to the neighbors?


ANSWER= Only when the temperature drops below 45 degrees so your yankee ass will have to be wearing a shirt to cover up that ole white wrinkled up skin of yourns' that might scare the hell out of the aforementioned fishin buddy of mine!---Gimp


Can I shoot rats with a shot gun when they leave my house?


Answer= PLease DO!-----Gimp

and!!!!!!


Can I host a Psyco vet party?!!!!!


ANSWER= We'll have to negotiate a "users fee" for our neighborhoods clubhouse. I'm also in charge of renting this facility out fer neighborhood functions. And, I have been known to accept monetary favors (bribes fer you yankee Police types) fer such occasions.---Gimp
bOOger your friendly neighbor


P.S. I would like live as close as possible to you, so find me one of dem low income houses preferably H.U.D. housing.... or I'll just have Habitat for Humanities build me one

Er-uh, come to think of it. Maybe you orghta stay up yonder fer a while longer. We ain't gots no H.U.D housing within about a hunert miles or so of dis heanh neighborhood. Plus, dem ole Habitual Humanity folks don't come round these parts very much.

Yo Frand,

The Gimpster*

*Relocation advisor extraordinare.---- Especially for folks moving 'NORTH'-----(South---not so much!---We gots ENOUGH crazies down heanh already!)

[b3196]

Ma der southen bro, General Gimpinski
Sounds like ya'll arn't too friendly thar in that neighborhood of yours. As a matter of fact, I wouldn't even call it a neighborhood......More like a mini communist state with you as the dictator....I prefer the more down to earth livin' where I can spell Merry Xmas by jammin' empty Budweiser cans into the chain link fence surroundin' my double-wide with the polyester curtains and the redwood deck( its really untreated pine stained to look like redwood).
bOOger
P.S. I don't really have a hot tub.....I just take the lid off the septic tank

[SparrowHawk62]

Here in the Hudson Valley we had our first significant snow storm of the season. We were left with almost six inches of the fluffy white stuff before the night was over.
Again I found myself out driving our Veterans to medical appointment as the other driver did not show up. I spent a large portion of the day driving on RT. 84 and the Taconic State Parkway. Any one who'd ever driven on the Taconic will tell you the road sucks even good weather. It was designed as a scenic highway from Westchester (NY) to Albany (NY); I'm sure it was fine in it's day but today it has turned into a major route for commuters.
It was about nine o'clock when the snow started to fall, an hour earlier than forecasted. It quickly turned into a mess. The under most layer a sheet of ice, making driving difficult for some if not impossible.
There were a fair share of accidents on RT. 84. Tractor Trailers that couldn't make it up normally small, gently sloped hills. A few knuckle heads managed to rearrange their cars front end body work but slamming into the car ahead of them. Their were also the sightseers who ventured off road into ditches and the center medium to see the deeper snow.
I love the dopes with the four way flashers on and no other lights, "Hey world it's snowing!"
No friggen kidding! Don't forget the jerks with no lights or the dips who are talking on cell phone, while driving. (They are a real special breed!)
All in all a ninety minute round trip took four hours! But I got the Vet back home, the DAV Car safely back to the transportation unit, and myself back home with out incident!
Oh what fun it is.....

[MORTARDUDE]

Snow...what's that ?

It was near 80 degrees here 3 days in the last week or so. We haven't had much snow at all in the past 10 years....Not sure why.

Larry in Memphis, TN.

[SparrowHawk62]

I was stationed at NETTC Memphis and later NAS Millington in the winter of 1980. Never really snow there, but there was a rain storm that quickly turned to ICE, gotta tella yah, they can't drive on that stuff. I was driving an old Chevy Taxi (long story) with a bunck of shipmates. We went all over the place and laughed at the knuckleheads who couldn't drive on the stuff.

[b3196]

Got a foot of snow coming in today.......Christmas party tonight and I'm the designated drunk

[Keith_Hixson]

Schedule an appointment soon. Bob I bought you books and sent you school and you still can't read. It's Designated Driver.

Keith

[SEATJERKER]

...

...How is it after just..... what, 3 - 4 years in Fla. that youz just furgotz dat you be a native Georgia'n. you make it sound as if you been in de swamp fur-ever,...

...bOOger, dat's it, we b goin' to de sunshine, err make shine state, an bring de airstream, or what's left of it by de time it gits there, an we b parkin it in Gimp's driveway, don't bother packin the levelin jacks as floor-ida is a flat as a cow pie.; make sure you pack dat dillo deflector as dem critters all over his knaborhood wit dat smeel of his cookin...

...bring yor rod, (not that one), an real we'll be fishin in hiz cement pond bfor tuesday,...

...bring dat blow up doll dat wavez, and we can decorat it as santa,...

...

[Packo]

Gimps a Native South Carolinian. Unlike people of "other" persuations, (sp?), Southerners can move amongst themselves without any problems other than getting used to a different form of Bar-B-Q sauce. They blend with little effort and adopt their new home working for full assimilation and obtaining it usually within a year. They NEVER EVER EVER say things like "well up north we did it this way....." Polite folks accept the differences without question.

Pack, Southern Sociologist Extrordenaire

[b3196]

Curtis
I think Pack is talkin' about us when he mentioned "people of other persuasions"..... The reason why we say "well up north we did it this way" Goes all the way back to the Civil War. We did it right then and we're doing it right now.
Don't have an Air Stream, got a pop-up camper, so it shouldn't take up too much room in the Gimpster's driveway While I'm waitin' for the double wide to arrive. Just need to run an extension cord outta the window. Hook up the garden hose and order me a porta-john......We gotta show some class down there.....No peein' on the flowers or in the pool.