The Patriot Files Forums
>
General
>
General Posts
Why Santa Claus can't possibly be a man.
User Name
Remember Me?
Password
Home
Forums
Gallery
Register
Video Directory
FAQ
Members List
Calendar
Games
Today's Posts
Search
Chat Room
Chat Room
Enter Chat Room
Enter Chat Room (Float)
0 User(s) in Chat Room
Who's Chatting
Search Forums
Show Threads
Show Posts
Tag Search
Advanced Search
Go to Page...
Thread Tools
Display Modes
#
1
12-17-2003, 09:03 AM
revwardoc
Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Gardner, MA
Posts: 4,252
Distinctions
Why Santa Claus can't possibly be a man.
This is one my niece sent me and doesn't necessarily reflect the opinions of the poster.
Think about it - Christmas is a big, organized, warm fuzzy, nurturing, social deal, and I have a tough time believing a guy could possibly pull it off!
For starters, the vast majority of men don't even think about selecting gifts until Christmas Eve.
Once in the Mall, they always seem surprised to find only Ronco
products, socket wrench sets, and mood rings left on the shelves.
On this count alone, I'm convinced Santa is a woman.
Surely, if he were a man, everyone in the universe would wake up
Christmas morning to find a rotating musical Chia Pet under the tree, still in the box.
Another problem for a he-Santa would be getting there. First of all, there would be no reindeer because they would be dead, gutted and strapped onto the rear bumper of the sleigh amid wide-eyed, desperate claims that buck season had been extended. Blitzen's rack would already be on the way to the taxidermist.
Even if the male-Santa DID have reindeer, he'd still have transportation problems because he would inevitably get lost up there in the snow and clouds and then refuse to stop and ask for directions.
Other reasons why Santa can't possibly be a man:
--> Men can't pack a bag.
--> Men would rather be dead than caught wearing red velvet.
-->Men would feel their masculinity is threatened...having to
be seen with all thoseelves.
--> Men don't answer their mail.
--> Men would refuse to allow their physique to be described,
even in jest, asanything remotely resembling a "bowl full of jelly."
--> Men aren't interested in stockings unless somebody's wearing them.
--> Having to do the Ho Ho Ho thing would seriously inhibit their ability
to pick upwomen.
--> Finally, being responsible for Christmas would require a commitment.
__________________
I'd rather be historically accurate than politically correct.
Sponsored Links
revwardoc
View Public Profile
Send a private message to revwardoc
Find all posts by revwardoc
revwardoc Donation Stats
«
Previous Thread
|
Next Thread
»
Thread Tools
Show Printable Version
Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode
Switch to Hybrid Mode
Switch to Threaded Mode
Posting Rules
You
may not
post new threads
You
may not
post replies
You
may not
post attachments
You
may not
edit your posts
BB code
is
On
Smilies
are
On
[IMG]
code is
On
HTML code is
On
Similar Threads
Thread
Thread Starter
Forum
Replies
Last Post
What women want... possibly
BLUEHAWK
General Posts
1
08-08-2005
02:54 PM
A Notice From Santa Claus
Dragon Lady
Vietnam
1
12-13-2003
06:06 AM
My Santa Wish List
thedrifter
Marines
0
12-10-2003
05:42 AM
Santa Claus
chilidog
General Posts
0
12-08-2002
06:08 AM
Could This Possibly........
phuloi
General Posts
14
07-31-2002
11:20 AM
All times are GMT -7. The time now is
05:03 PM
.
Contact Us
-
Archive
-
Top
Powered by vBulletin, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.