Wartime Deaths Give Meaning to Each Syllable in What Became

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In Troops' Final Words, Faith and Grace
Wartime Deaths Give Meaning to Each Syllable in What Became Last Letters Home

By Laura Blumenfeld and Julie Tate
Washington Post Staff Writers
Sunday, April 27, 2003; Page A01


One soldier wrote to his mother: Send more M&Ms. Another scribbled hello to his Nanny and Pop-pop. A Marine asked his girlfriend to tie a yellow ribbon in her hair. A reservist told his sister that if he didn't make it back, please read Rudyard Kipling's "If" at the funeral.

The soldiers didn't know that these messages would be among their last. They dealt mostly with the mundane -- the blood blisters, the tent mice, the sand that crunched between their teeth. They congratulated Dad on his new heifer and praised Sister's cheerleading. But they were young men preparing for battle, awkwardly caught between imagined futures and an abrupt end. And so they made sure to say the things that needed to be said, to thank, to explain, to apologize and, most urgently, to love. They came from diverse backgrounds, yet a common theme runs through their writing. They died believing in their families, in the president or in their God. Rarely bitter and with scant bloodlust, they were men of faith.

"Please don't worry," Tristan Aitken, 31, wrote to his parents. "My life is in God's hands and I am sure I will be safe. Please don't call it naive. I just trust that everything will be fine."

Four weeks later, Aitken, an Army captain, was riding in the lead vehicle in a convoy near Saddam International Airport in Baghdad. He was killed by a round fired from a shoulder-mounted rocket launcher.

Aitken, like many others, was eager for the fighting to begin, not because he wanted to kill, but because he wanted to come home.

"I feel like an attack dog chained to a pole waiting for my masters to cut me loose," he wrote on March 16, days before the war started. "We all know the only way home is through Baghdad, and we are ready."

Ryan Beaupre, 30, a Marine captain, wrote to his parents about a similar desire among his men to do their duty and to get out.

"To be honest, the one thing that worries me is a lot of Iraqi people getting killed," Beaupre wrote in his small, precise print. "Our weapons are powerful and I don't believe the Iraqis will last too long. I hope they simply give up or I fear many of them will die for a dictator that doesn't care one bit about them."

Three days later, Beaupre died in a helicopter crash.

If these men were afraid, they didn't write about it. Their awareness of death translated into an outpouring of love.

"I have spent my whole life wondering if I would meet someone like you," Marine Lance Cpl. Michael Williams, 31, wrote to his fianc?e. "Your love will get me through the tough times ahead."

Army Capt. Russell Rippetoe, 27, sent a bouquet of lilies to his mother with a card: "Relax Ma, I'll see you soon."

A suicide bomber killed him.

Some of what they shared was travelogue, like the dolphins splashing past the USS Ponce.

Army 1st Lt. Jeffrey Kaylor, 24, described the weather in an e-mail to his mother: "Imagine standing outside with a long sleeve shirt and pants in the peak of Virginia's heat. Then take a hair dryer and set it to hot and turn it on. Let the hair dryer blow on your face and that is not even comparable to how hot it is."

More than anything, what animated them was talk of their return, football season with Dad, going out on their boat to catch catfish, hooking up with Tammie.

"Start the countdown until I get home," Capt. James Adamouski, 29, wrote to his newlywed wife. "7 June would be a good ballpark figure."

For a joke, Staff Sgt. Lincoln Hollinsaid's mother wrote a letter to her son's commanding officer: "Please excuse Linc from the army as his mom needs him home. Signed, Mom." Hollinsaid, 27, replied to her, "Cute note. I will be sure to show that to top (first sergeant). I will be on the first plane back. Yeah right."

Soon after he wrote that, his vehicle was hit by a rocket-propelled grenade.

After he died, one last letter arrived.

"Ma," he wrote. "When I come back home, we will have to have another campfire in the garden, but twice as big, with pizza, lots of greasy pizza. Oh lord, I can smell it now."


? 2003 The Washington Post Company


Sempers,

Roger

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Letter From Marine Maj. Jay T. Aubin





Sunday, April 27, 2003; Page A19



Marine Maj. Jay T. Aubin

Dear Mom,

I am writing on the eve before my big mission. I helped plan it for the last six weeks. It is dangerous but I should be fine. As for you Mom I want to thank you for everything over the years. You always tried your best and put us first at your expense, I wish it had worked out that I was closer to home with your grandkids ..... Hopefully, I will be home soon, now that we are getting started. I love you and will get in touch when I can. Please keep me in your prayers. I will be heavily involved in this.

Love

Jay

Aubin, 36, of Waterville, Maine, was killed March 20 in a helicopter crash in

Kuwait

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Letter From Marine Capt. Ryan A. Beaupre






Sunday, April 27, 2003; Page A19



Marine Capt.

Ryan A. Beaupre

Mom & Dad,

Well if you are reading this, then things didn't go well for me over in Iraq. I'm sorry for the pain that I have caused you because of this. Please do not be upset with the Marine Corps, the military, the government, or the President. It was my choice to go into the military. The President and my higher commanders were just doing what they thought was best. Realize that I died doing something that I truly love, and for a purpose greater than myself. There is a paragraph that I read from time to time when I lose focus. "War is an ugly thing, but not the ugliest of things. The decayed and degraded state of moral and patriotic feeling which thinks that nothing is worth war is much worse. The person who has nothing for which he is willing to fight, nothing which is more important than his own personal safety, is a miserable creature and has no chance of being free unless made and kept so by the exertions of better men than himself." John Stewart Mill Now there is a little Marine Corps bravado in there, but I do believe in the basic premise. I want you to know that I could not have asked for better parents, or a better family. ..... I'll never forget that one of my friends in elementary school said that if he could trade places with one person, he'd trade places with me because of my parents and home life. I truly feel that I've had a blessed life thanks to you two. Please give my love to Alyse & Ryan, Kari & Matt & the girls, Chris & Brandy, and everyone else in the family.

All my love,

Ryan

Beaupre, 30, of Bloomington, Ill., was killed March 20 in a helicopter crash in Kuwait.

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Letter From Marine Sgt. Michael E. Bitz





Sunday, April 27, 2003; Page A19



Marine Sgt. Michael E. Bitz

Dear Mom:

This is the largest battle group the US has set up since the Korean War. The only difference is that we have the means of doing much more damage today than we did back then. Honestly, between God, you and I, I would rather go back home with my wife and kids. Janina and all the other wives were able to come out to the beach and stay for three hours the night before we splashed our Assault Amphibious Vehicles out to the ship. ..... That last five minutes was the hardest of my life. We both were full of tears. It was easy for Joshua cause he was asleep at that time. But I am sure that he woke up the next morning wondering where Daddy was. ..... Well Mom, that is enough about me. I love you very much and now your young warrior is to be going now.

Love, your son,

Michael

Bitz, 31, of Ventura, Calif., was killed March 23 in Nasiriyah by Iraqi soldiers who pretended to surrender, then opened fire when Marines approached.

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Letter From Marine Lance Cpl. Brian Rory Buesing



Sunday, April 27, 2003; Page A19



Marine Lance Cpl.

Brian Rory Buesing

Hey ya'll, Dad knows what I mean, being overseas. Especially in the desert with no women and a bunch of horny dudes. ..... Nothing beats American women. And beer. Anyways, we've got a ..... load of ammo and [a] bunch of chemical agent gear. We're ready boss. We got our smallpox vaccines shots about 3 weeks ago. Mine has pretty much healed. We received another anthrax shot too the other day. Fine with me, whatever's gonna work. Hope it don't get that ugly though. ..... Hopefully we're back before August. Don't want to turn 21 in Iraq.

Your son in the sand box,

Brian

Buesing, 20, of Cedar Key, Fla., was killed March 23 in Nasiriyah by Iraqi soldiers who pretended to surrender, then opened fire when Marines approached.

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Letter From Marine Reserve Staff Sgt. James W. Cawley


Sunday, April 27, 2003; Page A18


Marine Reserve

Staff Sgt. James W. Cawley

Just a quick preface before I start in earnest. When I wrote this you were still 8, still a little boy. In 2002 I was called to active duty in the Marine Corps in the War on Terrorism. I knew on the 11th of September 2001 when America was attacked ..... that I would eventually have to go and I was filled with a deep sense of sadness. That night as you and Keiko were asleep I looked at your little faces and couldn't help but fight the tears. I knew it would be hard for you because I had a similar experience. When I was a little boy aged 6, my Dad, your Grandpa Cawley, was sent to Vietnam during the War there. I remember how much I missed him. But, being a child, I didn't realize how hard it must have been on him, too. But now unfortunately, I have come to realize just how rough it must have been for Grandpa to be away from his children for a year. Thinking about this, I wanted to put my thoughts and feelings down for you and your sister. I am so sorry that I had to leave for such a long time. There is no place I would rather be than with you and Keiko. You two are the lights of my life. I have known no greater joy than in the few years since you two were born. I hope to have many more years with you. If this doesn't happen then know that I love you more than words can express. If for some reason I don't make it home, I will need you to take care of your little sister and your Mom. You will be the Man of the Cawley Family. Be good my son and God will watch over you as he has me. I will be waiting impatiently for the time when we can all be together again.

All my Love,

Dad

Cawley, 41, of Roy, Utah, was struck by a Humvee March 29 during a firefight.


__________________

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Letter From Marine Cpl. Jose A. Garibay






Sunday, April 27, 2003; Page A19



Marine Cpl. Jose A. Garibay

The officers in the Marines don't treat us badly. The only thing is that we don't eat very well, I'm glad there are women to look at here. ..... I'm fine and I hope to return soon. Send me two things that I like very much: Mexican candies and a CD of Vicente Ferandez and one of Chalino Sanchez. (Translated from the Spanish.)

Garibay, 21, of Costa Mesa, Calif., was killed March 23 in Nasiriyah by Iraqi soldiers who pretended to surrender, then opened fire when Marines approached.

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Letter From Marine Pfc. Christian D. Gurtner






Sunday, April 27, 2003; Page A19



Marine Pfc.

Christian D. Gurtner

Hello, how are you guys doing? I am good, we are sitting 15 miles from Iraq, we look to be leaving in 48 hours. I really miss you guys. Hey, if someone says anything bad, just tell them your one and only son is fighting so they can pay less for gas and sleep better at night because there is less terrorism in the world. Ohhra!.....

Miss ya, love ya,

Christian

Semper fi.

Gurtner, 19, of Ohio City, Ohio, was killed April 2 by a noncombat weapons discharge in southern Iraq.

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Letter From Marine Staff Sgt. Donald C. May





Sunday, April 27, 2003; Page A19



Marine Staff Sgt.

Donald C. May

Dear Mom,

Sorry I haven't written sooner, but I obviously have been busy. I was sorry to hear about Grandma. ..... Speaking of Grandmas, tell Grandma that I'm sorry for missing her birthday again. I have a good excuse this time. (Ha ha.) I hope everyone is doing well. If not, tell them to do better! Sorry, yelling at people to get what I want is an occupational hazard, and a hard habit to break ..... Tell Grandpa to quit watching the news for me. They only film pogues, not us front-line guys. (Ha ha.)

Love, Don

May, 31, of Richmond, was killed March 25 when a tank plunged off a bridge and into the Euphrates River.

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Letter From Marine Lance Cpl. Thomas J. Slocum






Sunday, April 27, 2003; Page A19



Marine Lance Cpl.

Thomas J. Slocum

Dear Kristi,

I love you and Zoe with all of my heart. She is a beautiful baby girl. I received your letter today and it filled me with joy and motivation. I have wanted you since I became closer to you and experienced the wonderful person you are. And to answer your question yes I want you and Zoe more than anything in the world. It does not matter if Zoe is not mine all that matters is that I love her, teach her and protect her.

Slocum, 22, of Adams, Colo., was killed March 23 in Nasiriyah by Iraqi soldiers who pretended to surrender, then opened fire when Marines approached.