Christmas Gifts for Men

[82Rigger]

Ron likes #11




#1:
When in doubt - buy him a cordless drill. It does not matter if he
already has one. I have a friend who owns 17 and he has yet to
complain. As a man, you can never have too many cordless drills.

#2:
If you cannot afford a cordless drill, buy him anything with the word
ratchet or socket in it. Men love saying those two words. "Hey
George, can I borrow your ratchet?" "OK. "By-the-way, are you through
with my 3/8-inch socket yet?" Again, no one knows why.

#3:
If you are really, really broke, buy him anything for his car.
99-cent ice scraper, a small bottle of deicer or something to hang
from his rear view mirror. Men love gifts for their cars. No one
knows why.

#4:
Do not buy men socks. Do not buy men ties. And never buy men
bathrobes. I was told that if God had wanted men to wear bathrobes,
he wouldn't have invented Jockey shorts.

#5:
You can buy men new remote controls to replace the ones they have worn out. If you have a lot of money buy a man a big-screen TV with the
little picture in the corner. Watch him go wild as he flips, and flips, and flips.

#6:
Do not buy a man any of those fancy liquers. If you do, it will sit
in the cupboard for 23 years.

#7:
Do not buy any man after shave or
deodorant. Men do not stink. They are "earthy".

#8:
Buy men label makers. Almost as good as cordless drills.
Within a couple of weeks there will be labels absolutely everywhere.
Socks. Shorts. Cups. Saucers. Door. Lock. Sink. You get the idea.

#9:
Never buy a man anything that says "some assembly required" on
the box. It will ruin the day and he will always have parts
left over.

#10:
Good places to shop for men include Northwest Iron Works, Parr
Lumber, Home Depot, John Deere, Valley RV Center, and Les Schwab Tire.
(NAPA Auto Parts and Sears' Clearance Centers are also excellent men's
stores. It doesn't matter if he doesn't know what it is. "From NAPA
Auto, eh? Must be something I need. Hey! Isn't this a starter for a
'68 Ford Fairlane? Wow! Thanks."

#11:
Men enjoy danger. That's why they never cook - but they will
barbecue. Get him a monster barbecue with a 100-pound propane tank.
Tell him the gas line leaks. "Oh the thrill! The challenge! Who
wants a hamburger?"

#12:
Tickets to a Red Wing/Lions/Pistons/Tigers game are a smart gift.
However, he will not appreciate tickets to "A Retrospective of 19th
Century Quilts." Everyone knows why.

#13:
Men love chainsaws. Never, EVER, buy a man a chainsaw. If
you don't know why - please refer to Rule #8 and what happens when he
gets a label maker.

#14:
It's hard to beat a really good wheelbarrow or an aluminum
extension ladder. Never buy a man a step ladder. It must be an
extension ladder. No one knows why.

#15:
Men love rope. It takes us back to our cowboy origins, or at
least The Boy Scouts. Nothing says Christmas like a hundred feet of 3/8"
manila rope. No one knows why.

[SEATJERKER]

...

...number 15,...

...we love rope, and we don't have to say why,...

...

[revwardoc]

I've sent the list along to every woman I know. Not that any of them will take the hint.

[Army_Brat84]

#12 substitute Red Wings for Blues, Lions for Army football, and Tigers for Cardinals (remember who beat who in the WS).

[39mto39g]

82
#11, only if you can actually hear the leak.

Tell a women to go to Home depot and not telling 'exactly' what to buy is dangerous, They sell flowered gloves and yard ornament's there.

Ron