Evening Humor

[revwardoc]

A bartender glanced up from his duties and noticed an absolutely gorgeous woman in a form-fitting, low-cut dress beckoning to him from the other end of the bar. As he reached her she asked in a low, sultry voice, "Is the manager here?"

He gulped and said, "No."

She then started running her fingers through his hair and asked, "Do you know when he'll be back?"

He stammered, "No."

She stroked his bushy beard and asked, "Well, can you give him a message for me?"

He just moaned and nodded.

Moving her fingers across his lips she said, "Tell him there's no toilet paper in the Ladies Room."

[revwardoc]

I am truly perplexed that so many of my friends are against a mosque being built at Ground Zero. I think it should be the goal of every American to be tolerant. Thus, the Mosque should be allowed, in an effort to promote tolerance.

That is why I also propose that two nightclubs be opened next door to the mosque, thereby promoting tolerance from within the mosque. We could call one of the clubs, which would be gay, "The Turban Cowboy," and the other a topless bar called "You Mecca Me Hot."

Next door should be a butcher shop that specializes in pork, and adjacent to that an open-pit barbecue pork restaurant, called "Iraq o' Ribs."

Across the street there could be a lingerie store called "Victoria Keeps Nothing Secret," with sexy mannequins in the window modeling the goods.

Next door to the lingerie shop there would be room for an adult sex toy shop, "Koranal Knowledge," its name in flashing neon lights, and on the other side a liquor store called "Morehammered."

All of this would encourage the Muslims to demonstrate the tolerance they demand of us, so the mosque problem would be solved. If you agree with promoting tolerance, and you think this is a good plan, please pass it on.

[BLUEHAWK]

Wednesday, June 15, 2011 10:09 AM
Message body

Friend -- I've set aside time for four supporters like you to join me for dinner. Most campaigns fill their dinner guest lists primarily with Washington lobbyists and special interests. We didn't get here doing that, and we're not going to start now. We're running a different kind of campaign. We don't take money from Washington lobbyists or special-interest PACs -- we never have, and we never will. We rely on everyday Americans giving whatever they can afford -- and I want to spend time with a few of you. So if you make a donation today, you'll be automatically entered for a chance to be one of the four supporters to sit down with me for dinner. Please donate $100 or more today: https://donate.barackobama.com/Dinner-with-Barack We'll pay for your flight and the dinner -- all you need to bring is your story and your ideas about how we can continue to make this a better country for all Americans. This won't be a formal affair. It's the kind of casual meal among friends that I don't get to have as often as I'd like anymore, so I hope you'll consider joining me. But I'm not asking you to donate today just so you'll be entered for a chance to meet me. I'm asking you to say you believe in the kind of politics that gives people like you a seat at the table -- whether it's the dinner table with me or the table where decisions are made about what kind of country we want to be. It starts with a gift of whatever you can afford. Please make a donation of $100 today, and we'll throw your name in the hat for the upcoming dinner: https://donate.barackobama.com/Dinner-with-Barack I've said before that I want people like you to shape this campaign from the very beginning -- and this is a chance for four people to share their ideas directly with me. Hope to see you soon, Barack No purchase, payment, or contribution necessary to enter or win. Contributing will not improve chances of winning. Void where prohibited. Entries must be received by 11:59 p.m. on 6/30/11. You may enter by contributing to Sponsor through https://donate.barackobama.com/Dinner-With-Barack. Alternatively, visit http://my.barackobama.com/Dinner-With-Barack-Alt to enter without contributing. Four winners will each receive the following prize package: one round-trip ticket within the continental U.S. to a destination to be determined by the Sponsor in its sole discretion; hotel accommodations for one; and dinner with President Obama on a date to be determined by the Sponsor in its sole discretion (approximate combined retail value of all prizes $1,075). Odds of winning depend on number of eligible entries received. Promotion open only to U.S. citizens, or lawful permanent U.S. residents who are legal residents of 50 United States and District of Columbia and 18 or older (or of majority under applicable law). Promotion subject to Official Rules and additional restrictions on eligibility. Visit http://my.barackobama.com/Dinner-Rules for full details, restrictions, and Official Rules. Sponsor: Obama for America, 130 E. Randolph St., Chicago, IL 60601.

Contributions or gifts to Obama for America are not tax deductible

[reconeil]

Unfortunately, too many Americans have ALREADY been suckered or sucked-in by that duplicitously-devious & slick-tongued liar Barry Hussein Soetoro or Barack Hussein Obama II or Junior.
Many fools sadly still remain duped by such.

Still & admittedly, Marxists/Progressives/Dems like Obama, Biden, Pelosi, Reid, Weiner & others are good for a laugh now & then. Don't you think?

However, it's often too bad that their sick jokes are usually on US (both ways).

Neil

[darrels joy]

When the email showed up in my inbox, I labeled it junk so it was sent to my junk mail folder.

Joy

[STYCK]

Washing Dishes with Coldwater:
Can Cold Water Clean Dishes?
This is for all the germ conscious folks that worry about using cold water to clean.

John went to visit his 90 year old
grandfather in a very secluded, rural area of Saskatchewan.

After spending a great evening chatting the night
away, the next morning John's grandfather
prepared breakfast of bacon, eggs and toast.

However, John noticed a film like substance on his
plate, and questioned his grandfather asking,

'Are these plates clean?'

His grandfather replied,

'They're as clean as cold water can get em.
Just you go ahead and finish your meal,Sonny!

For lunch the old man made hamburgers.

Again, John was concerned about the plates, as his appeared to have tiny specks
around the edge that looked like dried egg
and asked,

'Are you sure these plates are clean?'

Without looking up the old man said,


'I told you before, Sonny, those dishes are as clean as cold water can get them.
Now don't you fret, I don't want to hear another word about it!'

Later that afternoon, John was on his way to a nearby town and as he was leaving, his grandfather's
dog started to growl, and wouldn't let him pass.

John yelled and said, 'Grandfather, your dog won't let me get to my car'.

Without diverting his attention from the football game he was watching on TV, the old man
shouted!
'Coldwater, go lay down now, yah hear me!'

Meet Coldwater !

[STYCK]

With regards to Bluehawks post....how can I put this lemmee think here...

NOT IN MY LIFE TIME



Do I make my self clear ..or do I need to type in RED crayon

Has nothing to do with Bluehawk...just the idea of becoming "obamas" friend

[STYCK]

Israel’s Iron Dome defense is intercepting 90% of Hamas’ missiles.

Usually to see that many interceptions you have to watch Tony Romo play.

[STYCK]

A guy asked a girl in a university library: "Do you mind if I sit beside you?” The girl replied with a loud voice: "I DON'T WANT TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH YOU!" All the students in the library started staring at the guy; he was truly embarrassed.



After a couple of minutes, the girl walked quietly to the guy's table and said: "I study psychology, and I know what a man is thinking. I guess you felt embarrassed, right?”



The guy then responded with a loud voice: “$500 FOR ONE NIGHT? THAT'S TOO MUCH!” All the people in the library looked at the girl in shock.



The guy whispered in her ear: "I study law, and I know how to screw people".

[STYCK]

Today, UPS handled about 300 million packages an hour............

TSA likes to call that "Speed Dating"