A Tale Of Two Cows

[frisco-kid]

SOCIALISM- You have two cows. You keep one and give one to your neighbor.

FASCISM- You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them, and sells you the milk.

COMMUNISM- You have two cows. The government takes them both and denies they ever existed and drafts you into the army. Milk is banned.

NAZISM- You have two cows. The government takes them both and shoots you.

BUREAUCRACY- You have two cows. The government takes both cows, shoots one, milks the other one, pays you for the milk and pours the milk down the drain.

CAPITALISM- You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies and the economy grows. You sell them all and retire on the income.

ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM- You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debit/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholders who sell the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report audited by Andersen says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.