Grief ..

[MORTARDUDE]

I don't have any deaths in my family right now, but have a lot of grieving to do. Maybe I will get into it later... Would like to know how you deal with it. I am having a tough time. Thanks.

Larry

[1CAVCCO15MED]

I know what you are talking about. We just kept stuffing it down inside. How do you deal with it? Grieve your heart out. It feels awful at the time but if you do it enough it goes away a whole lot. Grieving is as natural as rain. Years ago I started getting very upset because something triggered a memory I had suppressed. I was out of control and sobbing all night one night. But when it was over I was if not rid of it at least it had lost its sting. As the years went by and I had more of these episodes I came to, if not be in control, to know at the onset I would be better off afterward. It never got easier but it's the thing that really works for me. Just go with it. It just means you unconsciously feel safe enough to finally let it out. It is common just before going into treatment. You're going to be OK. You're going to be better.

[Keith_Hixson]

I just talk it over with Jesus. If I'm angry I let Him know. If I'm angry and sad, I let Him know. If I'm overcome with sorrow, I let Him know. My talks with Jesus seems to make it all right.
Go out on a mountain and have a long intimate talk with Jesus.

Keith

[Tina]

I to talk to Jesus.. But sometimes I need to talk to someone else too.. I know talking to someone that I don't know is sometimes lots of help to me.. Cause they don't know me and don't care what i say.. and I don't know them so i don't care what they think about me or it.. Its just getting it off my chest is lots of help..
You can call me anytime you think you need to talk to someone you have never met.. I work nites so You can find me during the day all day.. my number is 863-967-5378
Please call if you need too..
love ya
your friend always and May God Bless you,
Tina

[catman]

Tina...please edit your post and send Larry a PM with your number. Never know who might get their hands on it.

Trav

[MORTARDUDE]

Might as well just spell it out ...

On Oct 1, I was driving to the Vet Center to show my counselor my letter from Little Rock, as a lot has to be done in the 30 days before entering treatment. As I was driving in mid town Memphis,
there was a gunshot or backfire behind my car and a helicopter seemed to be right over head..anyway I had a panic attack - flashback. I seemed to be in the first day of combat with the 2/22(M) when a soldier hit a mine and I got his bloody radio. This went on for about 30 mins with my head and heart about to explode. I finally got to the Vet Center and my counselor knew I was in bad shape. I have never had blood pressure problems and have given over 4 gallons of blood in the past 30 years. My blood pressure was 161/101 and my heart rate was about 100. This went on for almost 10 days, and a combination of 3 blood pressure meds finally got it down...I am feeling better now but am taking 7 kinds of meds altogether...I did some water color paintings while at the hospital. I may post some later.

Anyway, my wife filed for divorce while I was in the hospital. I invited her there to have a conference with the doctor before she did it. It was obvious then that she was far more concerned about the F150 truck she was losing thru bankruptcy than my health. One of the first things she said to me when I got home was, "you may have the doctors fooled, but not me". I would like to know how I was able to shoot my blood pressure up for over a week....I was diagnosed with Bi-Polar II and put on Tegretol, among other things..

We are still on good terms and are packing up and dividing up things in the house...it is very difficult for me, while remembering all the good times we had...

Some of you have been thru divorce. I feel I am being blamed for everything that has gone wrong. It is damned hard after 32 years....

After retirement, bankruptcy, 3 weeks in the hospital and 7 more weeks to come and now divorce...it has been a very tough year...

Larry

Larry,

A tough year indeed.
Have misplaced a couple of wives along the way myself and health hasn't always been the best.Hurts.Bad.In both cases I would have given anything to have had things work out diferently but it takes two to make a marrage and you just can't hold someone who doesn't want to be there.Life has a way of testing to find out who really means it when we say: "...for better or worse,for richer or poorer,in sickness and in health...".And-much as it may hurt to find out-it's usually better to know.

Hang in there,Larry.You CAN get through this.Things WILL get better.For what it's worth,you got a bunch of folks in your corner cheerin you on and hopein an prayin for the best for you.

You know where I'm at.Give me a holler if there's anything at all Nancy and I can do to lend a hand.

[1CAVCCO15MED]

Looks like I pretty well missed the mark. In any case Hal is right. I have seen several times where when someone tries to get help or improve themselves the spouse bailed. It's like they are used to the status quo and the person trying to better themselves changes all the rules or blame or something.

[formergrunt70]

Larry hear what You are saying. it is tough for You right now. Not
that it will make it any better, but another way to look at it is this:
Swap Your problems with other folks for a few days, then You call Them I say You want Yours back because You can't deal with Theirs. In time things will get better. One other small point, got a phone call from My Son that is back from Iraq late saturday night, it was not good, He wanted to end it all. So Larry You are not alone. Things can seem to get the best of all of Us. Nothing is ever too tough for Jesus. I'll be in touch. Had to take a few days from work before I too loses it. hope You understand, and that You are not alone.

[Tina]

Cat sorry if i fended you by posting my number.. but i like others have posted my number Thur out the site.. So if anyone was going to call then i will deal with it then..
Sorry again if i fended you..
love ya
Tina