Potential Darwin Awards?

[82Rigger]

Actual instructions found on products:


On a Sear's hairdryer:
"Do not use while sleeping."

(Rats! and that's the only time I have to work on my
hair!)

***

On a bag of Fritos:
"..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary.
Details inside."

(the shoplifter special)?

***

On a bar of Dial soap:
"Directions: Use like regular soap."

(and that would be how???....)

***

On some Swanson frozen dinners:
"Serving suggestion: Defrost."

(but, it's "just" a suggestion.)

***

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on the BOTTOM):
"Do not turn upside down."

(well...duh, a bit late, huh!)

***

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
"Product will be hot after heating."

(...and you thought????...)

***

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
"Do not iron clothes on body."

(but wouldn't this save me more time?)

***

On Boot's Childrens' Cough Medicine:
"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking
this medication."

(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction
accidents if we could just get 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

***

On Nytol Sleep Aid:
"Warning: May cause drowsiness."

(and...I'm taking this because???....)

***

On one brand of Christmas lights:
"For indoor or outdoor use only."

(as opposed to...what?)

***

On a Japanese food processor:
"Not to be used for the other use."

(Now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit
curious.)

***

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
"Warning: contains nuts."

(talk about a news flash)

***

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
"Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."

(Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)

***

On a child's superman costume:
"Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."

(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for
this one.)

***


On a Swedish chainsaw:
"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or
genitals."

(Oh ...was there a lot of this happening
somewhere?)

*****

Airborne! Steve / 82Rigger

[Drywall]

Just bought one of those long butane lighters for starting charcoal, pilot lights, etc. On the package it said "Do not use near open flame" ???????????

[39mto39g]

On our fire helmet there is a lable on the inside that says keep away from heat.
Im wandering what will happen?
Ron