trying to post some water colors I did at the hospital

[MORTARDUDE]

# 19 of 24

***********************

all we ever got to drink for beer in the field was nasty tasting, rusted can Carling Black Label. They would bring a big block of ice as well and if you rolled it 15 mins and it was cold...oh well it still tasted like shit...

all I remember for sodas was Fresca with banned cyclamates in them, and some Fanta

***************************************

[MORTARDUDE]

# 20 of 24

****************

this was a mortar fire mission...ran out of space..the track was named "One Tin Soldier" after the song

*************************

[MORTARDUDE]

# 21 of 24

***************

This is sitting up ..with an Rpg screen ( actually cyclone fencing on poles ).. the track was named "Hang 'Em High"

*********************

[MORTARDUDE]

# 22 of 24

***************

looks different than it is sometimes portrayed in the movies

**********************

[MORTARDUDE]

# 23 of 24

*****************

some enemy bodies I remember seeing.. not sure when or where

********************

[MORTARDUDE]

I screwed up.. there is only 23...

Larry

[MORTARDUDE]

I left the last one on the scanner !!!!


# 24 of 24


************************

This was some point in Cambodia where we had a night laager with A company. Our mechanics and drivers kept the APCS running in good shape so it was very rare for one not to start in the morning when we were ready to move. Our company ( B ) was scheduled to take the lead. 2 of our APCs wouldn't start !!!
The tried for maybe 10 mins, so the A company took off. No sooner than the first 4 tracks got into the woods than they were ambushed. None of the enemy were killed. We had to eventually go thru the area and you could still smell human flesh burning.....
I still remember looking into the forest and noticing how dark it was and it reminded it me of some of Grimm's fairy tales...about dark forests and monsters therein...

*********************************

[MORTARDUDE]

here is the pic that I described above...

[1CAVCCO15MED]

Very powerful, Larry.

[MORTARDUDE]

I cannot speak for all Vietnam veterans but I know there is a portion of my brain where a film of my Vietnam experience plays 24/7, sort of like those damned irritating songs that get stuck in your head for a week at a time. The images, smells, sounds, screams, tastes, and moments are burned in like a dvd. It seems since the invasion of Iraq in March 2003 on thru this election year and all the references to Vietnam, they recur more and more. You can call them nueroses, PTSD, obsessiveness, or whatever you like but they are always there.....

These paintings are a start for me. As I said before, when I talked to my first platoon-mate in May 2000, Gary Ogden, and found out I had by chance or choice forgotten or surpressed maybe 75 % of what had happened, I knew down deep that something was wrong. I didn't get to a Vet Center until April 2002 and didn't start going to the combat veterans group sessions until almost a year later...I can see back now that that was the start of a slow descent into hell that culminated in the flashback-panic attack I had on Oct 1.

I just said all that to say, if you think you need help, YOU DO. Go to the nearest Vet Center and talk to a couselor. You don't need to pay for it, fill out forms, go thru any VA mickey-mouse red-tape, talk in front of a group, take your wife, or even take your DD214 at first.....just you and the counselor. Many times he will be a Vietnam Vet as well. Just do it !!

******************************

I plan to paint some more in Little Rock when I go on Dec 12 to Jan 30. There are a lot of things I need to get out and on paper.....

May God Bless,

Larry

P.S. : One last thing...it is a national disgrace that veterans will not be able to get into the Memphis VA Hospital PCT-PTSD clinic for once a week meetings until maybe Aug 2005.....A 2 YEAR WAIT...... I only ( ONLY he says ) had to wait 6 months to go to Little Rock for 7 weeks.....

I have written my senators and congressman several times about this and got back the usual form letters. The do not give a shit. Why should they ? Is their ass on the line every day in the Middle East, or their son's and daughters' ?????????

VOTE FOR NADER ! THE ONLY HONEST MAN ON THE TICKET !