Memorial Day Grief Seminar

[Shortdawg]

By Donna Miles
American Forces Press Service

WASHINGTON, May 10, 2004 -- Organizers of the National Military Survivor
Seminar have planned their 10th annual event for Memorial Day weekend here.

A nonprofit organization called Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors, or
TAPS, sponsors the event.

Deb Meyer of South Bend, Ill., who lost her son Jason last year in Iraq, said
her family "would never be where we are emotionally" in the healing process if
they hadn't attended a four-day TAPS-sponsored grief session last May. This
Memorial Day weekend, Meyer said she plans to return here, this time to help
other military families who have lost a loved one serving on active duty.

The seminar, slated May 28-31, helps families work through their grief
together, with help from some leading experts on trauma and loss. The seminar
features workshops and other activities for adults and a camp for kids.

The adult seminar includes workshops on topics such as trauma and grief,
financial planning and helping children cope with loss. According to Brian
Bauman, TAPS national commander and chairman of the board, the sessions also
give participants a chance to share their experiences and form friendships that
will help them through the healing process.

While adults attend the general session, children ages 2 to 20 will attend the
Good Grief Youth Camp, designed to help them deal with their own feelings of
loss. The theme for this year's youth camp is "Remember the love, honor the
life, share the journey."

Bauman said many casualty assistance officers - those military members who
notify families that their loved one has died and help them through the painful
first weeks of recovery - also attend the sessions to cope with their own
feelings of grief.

All participants attend a memorial service, visit Arlington National Cemetery
and attend a Memorial Day concert on the U.S. Capitol grounds during the
weekend schedule of activities.

Bauman, who lost his Navy father to cancer when he was 18, calls the sessions
"a journey compacted into a weekend" that he said helps participants work
though their grief by celebrating their loved one's life and military service.

"By the end of the experience, they have explored themselves, their issues and
their priorities, cried, laughed and expelled some of the emotions they have
carried so they are able to go back to their lives able to move forward," he
said.

Meyer, whose son, Pfc. Jason Meyer, was killed in Iraq just seven weeks before
last year's seminar, said she was amazed at the outpouring of support from what
now calls her "TAPS family."

"The message I got from the seminar is that 'you are not alone,'" she said.
"Other people were there reaching out to us. Some of it was just hugging us and
letting us cry and letting us know that it's OK to feel all the emotions we
were feeling."

Based on relationships she forged during the seminar, she's become a regular
participant in a weekly chat room session for survivors on the TAPS Web site.
"We all pick each other up when we need it and show support," she said.

The weekend session costs $185 for adults and $50 for children, although Bauman
said donors have picked up the tab for some attendees. This year, the Dell
Foundation is sponsoring 25 children attending the Good Grief Youth Camp.

For more information about the seminar or other services provided by TAPS,
visit the organization's Web site or call (800) 959-TAPS (8277) toll-free.