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  #11  
Old 11-19-2002, 05:35 PM
janecallanan janecallanan is offline
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C'mon in. The foods passable, the drinks make it taste better, and the men don't do dishes!
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  #12  
Old 11-19-2002, 05:39 PM
janecallanan janecallanan is offline
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THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK

Indubitably
Innovative
Preliminary
Cinnamon

THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE
DRUNK
Specificity
British Constitution
Passive-aggressive disorder
Loquacious Transubstantiate

THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN
YOU'RE DRUNK
Thanks, but I don't want to have sex
Nope, no more booze for me
Sorry, but you're not really my type
Good evening officer, isn't it lovely out tonight
Oh, I just couldn't. No one wants to hear me sing
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Before God we are all equally wise - and equally foolish.
Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955)
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  #13  
Old 11-20-2002, 06:09 AM
JeffL JeffL is offline
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Default Beer, Anyone?

Yesterday scientists for Health Canada suggested that men should take a look at their beer consumption, considering the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer. The theory is that drinking beer makes men turn into women. To test the theory, 100 men were fed 6 pints of beer each. It was then observed that 100% of the men gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became overly emotional, couldn't drive, failed to think rationally, argued over nothing, and refused to apologize when wrong.

No further testing is planned.
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  #14  
Old 11-20-2002, 06:28 AM
Advisor Advisor is offline
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Talking

So that explains it! Thanks Jeff. Been wondering about this for years.

Joe
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  #15  
Old 11-20-2002, 07:11 AM
janecallanan janecallanan is offline
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You guys are wicked, evil and dangerous!
Did the test subjects also try to make sure they looked and smelled their best, getother guys to buy them drinks, and then suddenly have to go home with a headache?
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Before God we are all equally wise - and equally foolish.
Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955)
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  #16  
Old 11-20-2002, 12:32 PM
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Can't say that I've had any direct experience with this for more than 35 years, but some of my single friends tell me that she did turn into a headache the next morning.
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Patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel. -Samuel Johnson
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  #17  
Old 11-20-2002, 02:20 PM
billr billr is offline
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A little alcohol makes everything easier.
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  #18  
Old 11-21-2002, 07:51 AM
JeffL JeffL is offline
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Thumbs up Calendar

Here's a calendar (just for November and December) for people who only drink on holidays. I have the whole year in a Word file, if anyone wants it, or it can be converted to a simple text file. Some pals and I started working on it about 30 years ago (before the days of the computer!) when I was working at Maremont Corp. after I got out of the CG, and it goes through modifications on an as-needed basis.

NOVEMBER

1 Gorden's Annual Eggplant Madness
2 The Ides of Gwoon
3 The Great Haggis Feast
4 Anniversary of the 1st Electric Bass Drum
5 The Swirling of Swizzle Sticks
6 Festival of Used Light Bulbs
7 Galoshes Day
8 Martha's 2nd Honeymoon
9 Be Bald and Be Free Day
10 Annual Tumblebug Pageant
11 Make a New Enemy Day
12 Columbus Day
13 Cincinnati Day
14 Opossum Day
15 Anniversary of the Morton Spooner Monument
16 National Grouch Day
17 Feast of the Asteroid Belt
18 Snails' Day
19 Toenail Tap Dance
20 Peach Pit Fling
21 Afternoon of the Faun
22 Teabag Festival
23 Use More Goose Quills Day
24 National Fiesta of the 9th Guard
25 Ogres' Gathering
26 Night of the Frunious Quizzle
27 International Cajoling of Dragonflies
28 Fiesta of the Fat Chamois
29 Miss Kwudd's Ballet Recital
30 Gashouse Gang?s Pancake Supper


DECEMBER

1 White Knights' Dragon Fight
2 Piece Treaty Day
3 Cliggle's Ecator Click
4 Curing of the Tropic of Cancer
5 Uncle Tom's Cabana Bee
6 Beeswax Festival
7 Riot of the Dirty Old Men
8 Annual Sideburn Pageant
9 Anniversary of the Articles of Anarchy
10 Omar Sturd's Annual Grin
11 Flap Day
12 Do Something Real Dumb Day
13 Regret It Day
14 Third Day of the Preeple
15 Grackle Day
16 Annual Meeting of The Man Can't Fly Society
17 Underdog Day
18 Snowcat Drivers' Ball
19 Throw a Peachpit at a Chihuahua Day
20 Belly Button Lint Day
21 Winter Solstice
22 National Whiner's Day
23 Piz Nez Lens Wipe
24 The Wax Museum Meltdown
25 Christmas Day
26 Chicken Fat Collection Day
27 Yearly Decoration of Moose Antlers
28 Crating Day
29 Boxing Day
30 Wear a Svelte Belt on the Veldt Day
31 New Years Eve


Later, everyone! Today's the celebration of the Afternoon of the Faun!

Jeff
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  #19  
Old 11-21-2002, 07:59 AM
Drywall Drywall is offline
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How about a Bah Humbug day? Or the annual Curmudgeon non-festival?
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  #20  
Old 11-21-2002, 11:22 AM
janecallanan janecallanan is offline
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Could you mail me the whole year? These are great Jeff! and I agree that a curmudgeon non-fest should be added.Maybe on leap yearday?
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Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955)
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