Favorite Recipes

[JeffL]

Just use some judiciously placed strips of aluminum foil to create the following masterpiece!

And watch your guests' faces!

[JeffL]

From a neighbor:

Martha Stewart will not be dining with us this Thanksgiving. I'm telling you in advance, so don't act surprised. Since Ms. Stewart won't be coming, I've made a few small changes: Our sidewalk will not be lined with homemade, paper bag luminaries. After a trial run, it was decided that no matter how cleverly done, rows of flaming lunch sacks do not have the desired welcoming effect.

The dining table will not be covered with expensive linens, fancy china or crystal goblets. If possible, we will use dishes that match and everyone will get a fork. Since this is Thanksgiving, we will refrain from using the plastic Peter Rabbit plate and the Santa napkins from last Christmas.

Our centerpiece will not be the tower of fresh fruit and flowers that I promised. Instead we will be displaying a hedgehog-like decoration hand-crafted from the finest construction paper. The little artist assures me it is a turkey.

We will be dining fashionably late. The children will entertain you while you wait. I'm sure they will be happy to share every choice comment I have made regarding Thanksgiving, pilgrims and the turkey hotline. Please remember that most of these comments were made at 5:00 AM upon discovering that the turkey was still hard enough to cut diamonds. As accompaniment to the children's recital, I will play a recording of tribal drumming. If the children should mention that I don't own a recording of tribal drumming, or that tribal drumming sounds suspiciously like a frozen turkey in a clothes dryer, ignore them. They are lying.

We toyed with the idea of ringing a dainty silver bell to announce the start of our feast. In the end, we chose to keep our traditional method.

We've also decided against a formal seating arrangement. When the smoke alarm sounds, please gather around the table and sit where you like. In the spirit of harmony, we will ask the children to sit at a separate table. In a separate room. Next door.

Now I know you have all seen pictures of one person carving a turkey in front of a crowd of appreciative onlookers. This will not be happening at our dinner. For safety reasons, the turkey will be carved in a private ceremony. I stress "private" meaning: Do not, under any circumstances, enter the kitchen to laugh at me. Do not send small, unsuspecting children to check on my progress. I have an electric knife. The turkey is unarmed. It stands to reason that I will eventually win.

When I do, we will eat.

Before I forget, there is one last change. Instead of offering a choice between 12 different scrumptious desserts, we will be serving the traditional pumpkin pie, garnished with whipped cream and small fingerprints. You will still have a choice: take it or leave it.

Martha Stewart will not be dining with us this Thanksgiving. She probably won't come next year either. I am very thankful.

[janecallanan]

Thanks Jeff! I was afraid she'd show up uninvited, but this puts my mind at rest!!!!!!!!

[Drywall]

Jeff,
One of our sons is a professional cook so I have it made in the turkey carving dept. He even brings his own knives. Makes it look easy.

[JeffL]

The following recipe for chocolate chip cookies appeared in Chemical & Engineering News (C&EN, Jun 19, 1995, p. 100). It was attributed to Jeannene Ackerman of Witco Corp.


Ingredients:

1. 532.35 g gluten
2. 4.9 g NaHCO3
3. 4.9 g refined halite
4. 236.6 g partially hydrogenated tallow triglyceride
5. 177.45 g crystalline C12H22O11
6. 177.45 g unrefined C12H22O11
7. 4.9 g methyl ether of protocatechuic aldehyde
8. Two calcium carbonate-encapsulated avain albumen-coated protien
9. 473.2 g theobroma cacao
10. 236.6 g de-encapsulated legume meats (sieve size #10)

To a 2-L jacketed round reactor vessel (reactor #1) with an overall heat-transfer coefficient of about 100 Btu/F-ft2-hr add first three ingredients with constant agitation.

In a second 2-L reactor vessel with a radial flow impeller operating at 100 rpm, add four, five, six, and seven until the mixture is homogeneous.

To reactor #2 add eight followed by three equal portions of the homogeneous mixture in reactor #1. Additionally, add nine and ten slowly with constant agitation. Care must be taken at this point in the reaction to control any temperature rise that may be the result of an exothermic reaction.

Using a screw extruder attached to a #4 nodulizer, place the mixture piece-meal on a 316SS sheet (300 x 600 mm). Heat in a 460?K oven for a period of time that is in agreement with Frank & Johnston's first order rate expression (see JACOS, 21, 55), or until golden brown.

Once the reaction is complete, place the sheet on a 25? C heat-transfer table allowing the product to come to equilibrium.

[janecallanan]

No thanks, I'm watching my figure.

[daniel topliffe]

jeff...re:your post 'beer anyone' on 11-20-2002 @8:09 a m...if i ever let my wife read that one...i might just as well...move into my winnebago for the
rest of my life.

i'm tempted!!!!

[janecallanan]

Oh Dan, you'd better not take beer to the Winnebago, or you'll never get away from it!
Happy Thanksgiving!

[reeb]

WHEW!!!!!!!!!!

I sure am GLAD I am doing my oown cooking.

YALL GETTING ME DRUNKER!!!!!

enough.............

[janecallanan]

Drunk enough? Did you have a good turkey day?