A little Friday Humor.

[MarineAO]

A LITTLE FRIDAY HUMOR - HAPPY FRIDAY!!

A very successful lawyer parked his brand new Lexus in front of the
office, ready to show it off to his colleagues. As he got out, a truck
came along, too close to the curb, and completely tore off the driver's
door of the Lexus.

The counselor immediately grabbed his cell phone, dialed 911, and it wasn't
more than 5 minutes before a policeman pulled up.

Before the cop had a chance to ask any questions, the lawyer started
screaming hysterically.

His Lexus, which he had just picked up the day before, was now completely
ruined and would never be the same, no matter how the body shop tried to
make it new again.

After the lawyer finally wound down from his rant, the cop shook his head
in disgust and disbelief. "I can't believe how materialistic you lawyers
are," he said. "You are so focused on your possessions that you neglect
the most important things in life."

"How can you say such a thing?" asked the lawyer.


The cop replied, "Man, don't you even realize that your left arm is
missing? It got ripped off when the truck hit you!!!"

"Oh, No!" screamed the lawyer.

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"WHERE'S MY ROLEX?"

[MarineAO]

So this lawyer dies and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St. Pete's there with his registry, and asks the dead guy his name.

"Irving Cheatham."

"Cheatham? The lawyer?" St. Pete asks.

"Yes, sir," replies Irving. St. Pete hurriedly gestures to a younger angel.

"Malachi, take Mr. Cheatham to his quarters right away!"

Malachi takes Irving in wing and leads him into Heaven. Fairly close to the gates is a small group of ramshackle buildings. If this weren't Heaven, he's pretty sure they'd be collapsing right about now. It bothers him that such places exist in Heaven at all.

"Malachi," he asks, "what are these buildings for?"

"Oh," replies Malachi. "That's where the Popes live."

Irving shakes his head in disbelief, but being the new guy on the block and not at all certain that he couldn't be sent right to hell --or these slums-- he keeps his mouth shut.

Until they get to his house.

It's beautiful. It's like a bit of Beverly Hills transplanted to Heaven.

Irving is confused.

"Malachi," he asks. "How is it that I get such a palace, and the Popes live in the slums?"

Malachi shrugs. "We've got 150 Popes. You're our only lawyer."

[HawkCW4]

Humor is good:

Just got this from B-in-law State of Washington, but from Texas.

Three men were setting together bragging about how they had set their
new wives straight on their duties. The first man had married a woman
from Oklahoma. He bragged that he had told his wife that she was going
to have his meal on the table when he got home, do the dishes, and clean
the house every day. He said that it took a couple days, but on the
third day he came home to a clean house, his favorite meal, and the
dishes were all washed and put away.

The second man had married a women from Kansas. He bragged that he had
given his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes, and
have his meals sitting on the table when he got home, regardless of the
time of day. He told his friends that the first day he didn't see any
results, but the next day, things were better. By the third day, his
house was clean, the dishes were done, and he had a fine dinner on the
table.

The third man had married a woman from Texas. He boasted that he told
her it was her responsibility to have his house clean, the dishes
washed, the cooking done, and the laundry washed. He said the first day
he didn't see anything, and the second day he still didn't see anything,
but by the third day, some of the swelling had went down so he could see
a little out of his left eye!