Daily Humor

[SuperScout]

MEXICAN EARTHQUAKE

A big earthquake with the strength of 8.1 on the Richter scale has hit Mexico. Two million Mexicans have died and over a million are injured. The country is totally ruined and the government doesn't know where to start with providing help to rebuild. The rest of the world is in shock.

Canada is sending troops to help the Mexican army control the riots.

The European community (except of course France) is sending food and money.

The United States, not to be outdone, is sending two million replacement Mexicans.

Texas has volunteered an other 500,000.

God Bless America!

[revwardoc]

http://news.com.au/common/story_page...^13762,00.html

Woman poses as army officer
From correspondents in London
April 22, 2004


A WOMAN posing as a military officer conned her way onto a British airforce base and lived there undetected for five months, even running up a large bar bill, a report said.

The 35-year-old, named by the Sun newspaper as Kelsey McMillan, pretended to be an army medic on a training course and was only detected after she successfully applied for a transfer to a different base. McMillan even travelled on Royal Air Force helicopters as they undertook search and rescue operations, the newspaper reported in its Thursday edition. The imposter arrived at the RAF Valley base in north Wales last October dressed as a captain and bearing a genuine identification card she held as a private in the Territorial Army, a civilian reserve force. Claiming to be visiting her fiance, McMillan moved into officers' quarters after supposedly breaking up with the man and ran up a 300-pound bar bill, saying she was waiting for wages to be transferred. According to the newspaper, she was arrested four days after arriving at her new ?posting?, a base in southwest England containing secretive airborne early-warning systems and anti-submarine patrols. An unnamed ?insider? at the first base told the Sun that the incident was ?a shocking security disaster?. ?This woman had access to the entire base and we all thought she was a trained doctor,? they said.

[SuperScout]

...The other day, President Bush appointed John Negroponte as the new Ambassador to Iraq. Now how do you get to be Ambassador to Iraq? Make a large contribution to the Kerry campaign?

.... You know the Spanish word for Iraq? "Adios."

.... Spain now says they plan to withdraw their troops as soon as possible as opposed to waiting until June 30th as they originally agreed to do. And France is furious. Spain is trying to break France's record for quickest retreat.

.... British Prime Minister Tony Blair was at the White House last week. President Bush said, for someone not from this country, his English is pretty good.

[SuperScout]

Enter Mexico illegally. Never mind immigration quotas, visas, international law, or any of that nonsense.

Once there, demand that the local government provide free medical care for you and your entire family. Demand bilingual nurses and doctors.

Demand free bilingual local government forms, bulletins, etc.

Procreate abundantly. Deflect any criticism of this allegedly irresponsible reproductive behavior with. "It's an American thing, You wouldn't understand."

Keep your American identity strong. Fly Old Glory from your rooftop, or proudly display it in your front window or on your car bumper. Speak only English at home and in public and insist that your children do likewise.

Demand classes on American culture in your school system. Demand a local Mexican driver license. This will afford other legal rights and will go far to legitimize your unauthorized, illegal, presence in Mexico.

Insist that local Mexican law enforcement teach English to all its officers.

Now, after you get through with all this, duck!




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> OH, and by the way. . . . . . Good luck!
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