Where Do You Live

[HARDCORE]

You Live in California when...

1. You make over $250,000 and you still can't afford to buy a house.
2. The high school quarterback calls a time-out to answer his cell phone.
3. The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway.
4. You know how to eat an artichoke.
5. You drive your rented Mercedes to your neighborhood block party.
6. When someone asks you how far something is, you tell them how long it will take to get there rather than how many miles away it is.
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You Live in New York City when...

1. You say "the city" and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan.
2. You have never been to the Statue of Liberty or the Empire State Building.
3. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park, but can't find Wisconsin on a map.
4. You think Central Park is "nature."
5. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multi-lingual.
6. You've worn out a car horn.
7. You think eye contact is an act of aggression.
***********************

You Live in Maine when...

1. You only have four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco.
2. Halloween costumes fit over parkas.
3. You have more than one recipe for moose.
4. Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons.
5. The four seasons are: winter, still winter, almost winter, and construction.
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You Live in the Deep South when...

1. You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store.
2."ya'll" is singular and "all ya'll" is plural.
3. After five years you still hear, "You ain't from 'round here, are Ya?"
4. "He needed killin' " is a valid defense.
5. Everyone has 2 first names: Billy Bob, Jimmy Bob, Mary Sue, Betty Jean, MARY BETH, etc.
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You live in Colorado when..

1. You carry your $3,000 mountain bike atop your $500 car.
2. You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home and he stops at the day care center.
3. A pass does not involve a football or dating.
4. The top of your head is bald, but you still have a pony tail.
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You live in the Midwest when...

1. You've never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name.
2. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor.
3. You have had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" on the same day.
4. You end sentences with a preposition: "Where's my coat at?"
5. When asked how your trip was to any exotic place, you say, "It was different!"
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You live in Florida when....

1. You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon.
2. All purchases include a coupon of some kind -- even houses and cars.
3. Everyone can recommend an excellent dermatologist.
4. Road construction never ends anywhere in the state.
5. Cars in front of you are often driven by headless people.
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You live in Arizona when .....

1. You are willing to park 3 blocks away because you found shade.
2. You can open and drive your car without touching the car door or the steering wheel.
4. You would give anything to be able to splash cold water on your face.
5. You can attend any function wearing shorts and a tank top.
6. "Dress Code" is meaningless at high schools and universities. Picture lingerie ads.
7. You can drive for 4 hours in one direction and never leave town.
8. You have over 100 recipes for Mexican food.
9. The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING ME??!!
10. You know that "dry heat" is comparable to what hits you in the face when you open your oven door.

[Desdichado]

You're from East Kentucky when:

1. You had to decide by the age of ten whether you were for the Hatfields or the McCoys.

2. Possum is a perfectly acceptable thing to serve company on any day but Sunday.

3. You can negotiate a mountain road at night in the fog - but you always stub your toe on the way to the toilet at 2 in the morning.

4. If shootin' were schoolin', you'd be a Rhodes Scholar.

5. You think anyone with a cell phone is a trekkie.

6. You got in more fistfights as a kid over who got to be Dan'l Boone than you ever did over a mere girl.

7. You still fondle those arrowheads and civil war buttons you found as a kid.

8. You don't answer the phone during supper. Nobody you know would be rude enough to call then anyway.

9. You thought Vietnam would be better than the black lung.

10. A shot of anything in the liquor cabinet into the carburetor will start the car on a cold morning.

[exlrrp]

Originally posted by HARDCORE [b]
You Live in California when...

1. You make over $250,000 and you still can't afford to buy a house.
2. The high school quarterback calls a time-out to answer his cell phone.
3. The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway.
4. You know how to eat an artichoke.
5. You drive your rented Mercedes to your neighborhood block party.
6. When someone asks you how far something is, you tell them how long it will take to get there rather than how many miles away it is.
************************

]

I own 2 houses, actually a house and a duplex and Ive never made over $61K
Other than that its all true!! How'd you find out about the Mercedese?

PS I might add a polite Californian will always honk before firing
PPS The Richmond City Motto is: Don't believe everything youve heard about us! in Latin

[Keith_Hixson]

A small college town of 15,000. University students number 9,500, but most aren't counted in the population. So . . . . .

I'm surrounded by those between 18 - 25. Yet being a rural farming / ranching community there are a lot of cowboys and farmers around. We have a food processing plant and most of
laborers are hispanic. We have a "blue ribbon" fly fishing river that runs along the edge of town.

So we have two starbucks for the college kids.
We have four Mexican Resturants.
Every kind of fast food Resturant you could want.
One or two "extra fine" fine food Resturants for the College Professors.
Three Asian food Resturants.
And a whole bunch of Generic Resturants for the truckers, loggers, cowboys, farmers, fly fishers and regular folks.
Three fly fishing stores and rentals of drift boats! So the yuppies dress up in their Orvis Uniforms can float the river. I think they eat yuppy food, tofu and yogurt sprinkled with alphalfa sprouts.

There ain't nothing here for a dieting preacher.

No wonder I preach Hell Fire and Brimstone every Sunday!
Somebody has to straiten out this bunch!

Keith

[darrels joy]

Keith,

All true but the University is excellent.

In their Engineering & Technology department (unless there has been some kind of radical change) all the teachers speak English and teach their own classes. They come from industry so they have a working knowledge of what they teach and most are registered Professional Engineers. All engineering classes have a lab with them so there are reality checks with the theories.

The town of Ellensburg has grown too fast. When I went there the population of residents and students was about the same.

Joy

[HawkCW4]

Boy, what a question. I sat here for 15 min wondering where I am from.

Born in New Mexico at a very young age, left home at 17 for a life with the US Army. After 23 years, figured it may not be for me so I quit and went to live in Washington State for 20 years. I can hit Gate's office with a rock from my front door.

Got an itch to move and ended up in Palm Springs, Ca. Ariz has no clue what hot really is.

After 7 years someone offered me a chance to travel again. Sold the home, and moved to Mexico to do a Shrimp Project.

Rent a house in a town called El Tuito which is about 30 miles or so south of Puerto Vallarta, up in the mountains where we actually have pine trees. There are about 3000 people in this town. There are two homes on this property, one fairly new, my Son & family live in when they are here, and my home which is over 100 years old and has the kitchen, (located outside) but a nice new bathroom.

At present my wife has put an offer on a home in Chandler, Az. Which may be mine somewhere the end of June. So I really do not know where to call home.

Saludos

[MissleMonkey28]

YOU MIGHT BE FROM JERSEY IF...



* You don't understand why there aren't more 24-hour diners elsewhere in the country.

* You know what a Wawa is, and know the location of at least 15 of them.

* You think a mountain is that big freakin' hill in Atlantic Highlands.

* You know Asbury Park is no longer the mecca of East Coast resort towns.

* Even though there's a new Wal-Mart in your town, you still go to the Englishtown Auction for cheap stuff.

* You can name all the flavors of salt water taffy.

* Your car is covered with yellow-green dust in April and May.

* You buy Shop-Rite brand food at Shop-Rite.

* You can smell and know when it's low tide.

* The Jets/Giants game has started fights at your school and/or local bar.

* There are no self serve gas stations and you like it that freakin' way... "yous gotta problem wit dat?"

* You've had sex on the beach, and I'm not talking about the beverage.

* You know how to successfully handle a traffic circle.

* You know what skeeball is and you can get three 50's in a row.

* You think the Olive Garden is crap and should have never opened any restaurants in New Jersey.

* You've run out of money on the Parkway.

* You're Italian.

* You know where to get the best bagels and pizza.

* Donald Trump is mentioned at least daily in your local paper.

* You say "water" weird. (Wooder, Cawfee, Dowg, wadever).

* Even your school made good Italian subs.

* You've lived through hurricanes, nor'easters and fires, but have never seen a tornado, earthquake, tsunami or volcano.

* You can't believe MTV went to Seaside Heights.

* You know that ACME is an actual store, not just a Warner Bros.creation.

* You only go to New York City for day trips.

* You know what a "jug handle" is.

* You have mandatory recycling. Enforced by law.

* You've eaten a pork roll and cheese on a hard roll...and like it.

* You go to at least one parade at the boardwalk each year.

* You've pondered, "Maybe basketball would be more popular in New Jersey if the Nets didn't blow,"

* You can go bowling at 1:30 A.M. (with automatic scoring)!

* In high school, you worked at a Friendly's.

* Route 18 doesn't freak you out at night.

* Because your town was founded before 1776, all the restaurants, taverns and shops have "ye," "olde," and "colonial" in their names.

* You don't have to go to Red Lobster to get fresh seafood.

* You once said, "It smells like New York in here."

* You've waited for the damn drawbridge for more than 20 damn minutes.

* At least three people in your family still love Bruce Springsteen.

* There's a fruit and vegetable stand down the road.

* "Anyone who makes bad pizza can go to hell" is your attitude.

* You always use a minimum of 10 variations of the word "damn" while driving.

* You don't take any shit from anybody. Especially from someone from New York, because you live here for christ's sake and just who the hell do they think they are anyway? Invading our damn beaches and bars, they're just here for the damn summer and they think they own the damn place and....

* You've gone to the race track with twenty different daily double bets from twenty different people.

* You've spent St Patrick's day in Belmar.

* You know that there are bakeries which are not part of a supermarket, but actual individual stores.

* You've ordered a "hard roll with butter" for breakfast.

* One time, a sea gull crapped on your head.

* You've eaten at a Windmill, drunk off your ass, at 3am at least a dozen times.

* You know what a "benny" is and can pick one out at the beach.

* You've planned a local trip around ensuring you pass at least one Dunkin' Donuts.

* You're an aggressive driver.

* At least 5 people in your immediate family have asthma.

* Your drinking water should not be used for drinking.

* Your town has more water restrictions than people living in "dry" states i.e. Arizona, and Nevada.

* Potholes are as common as mosquitoes.

* You believe pigeons carry hand guns.