Liberals, Conservatives and Marines

[thedrifter]

Liberals, Conservatives and Marines

1. Problem:

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge double edged hunting knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and charges you. You pull your Glock 40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?

A. Liberals response:

Well, that's not enough information to answer the questions! Does the man look poor or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack? Could we run away? What does my wife think? What do my small children think? Could I possibly swing my gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand? What does the law say about this situation? Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send?

Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me? Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me? If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he is stabbing me?

Should I call 9-1-1? Why is this street so deserted? We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior. This is so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come up with a consensus.

B. Conservative's response:

BANG!

C. Marine's Response:

BANG!BANG!BANG!BANG!BANG!BANG!BANG!BANG!BANG! click (sounds of reloading)

Wife. "Sweetheart, he looks like he's still moving. What do you kids think?"

Son. "Mom's right Dad, I saw it too."

BANG!BANG!BANG!BANG!BANG!BANG!BANG!BANG!BANG! click...

Daughter. "Nice grouping Daddy! Were those the Winchester Hollow Points?"

[SuperScout]

That one was told around these parts, and in the original, the marine first was a Texan, but we're always willing and happy to share starring roles with the Proud, the Few, the Marines!! Footnote: we always reload at the end of our story!!
Scouts Out!!