Boys will be Boys

[Margaret Diann]

RAISING BOYS The following came from an anonymous Mother in Austin, Texas...

Things I've learned from my Boys (honest and not kidding):

1.) A king size water bed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.

2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.

3.) A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate 42 pound Boy
wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can,
to spread paint on all four walls of a 20 x 20 ft. room.

5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is! on.
When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit.
A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's already too late

8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old man
says they can only do it in the movies.

10.) Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old Boy.

11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.

12.) Super glue is forever.

13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.

14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

15.) VCR's do not eject "PB&J" sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.

16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.

19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.

20.) The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.

21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.

22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.

23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

24.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.

Those who pass this on to almost all of their friends,with or without boys do it because:
a) For those with no children - this is totally hysterical!
b) For those who already have children past this age,this is hilarious.
c) For those who have children this age, this is not funny.
d) For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning.
e) For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control.

[Timothy R. Kuhr]

Boys will kill you.
Single parent of four of them:
When you come home from work and three are on the roof "cleaning the gutters", the fourth is probably tied to a tree in the back.
When all the kids in the neghborhood call you "Dad", be one - feed them, let them talk and watch them like a hawk - especially the girls. And hit the grocery store twice a week.
When the kids bring home a snake, plan on finding it under the refrigerator - especially if you hate them.
When your oldest asks if his girl-friend can store some stuff, make sure some of the stuff is not loaded and she's not part of it.
When your son has a job interview on Xmas eve, look for a Marine recruiter in the shadows.
Oddly enough, if your son's friend accelerates from a stop, your son, on the hood, will fly off.
And you will tell one son that the grandkids are the best ever and the other that he'll just love his time in the Corps.
And the other two, to think blue. CG, AF, Navy. The food's better, at least. (That's what their recruiiters say.)
And you come home one day and people are doing their homework or reading or whatever - quiet. and you just know it's gonna hit the fan. Time to check the account balance.

[Margaret Diann]

you've had a few experiences

[goodnessgracie]

I was born with a teacher's soul.

I've often stated that I'd make a terrific grandparent, if ever anyone could talk me into becoming a parent.

But I do know that the capacity of an automobile's cassette player is three fun-size boxes of raisins

[Margaret Diann]

that being a grandparent is so much fun, that people should have the grandkids first

I hope someone 'talks you into' ...