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These Are Really Good
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> > On some air bases the Air Force is on one side of the field and civilian > > aircraft use the other side of the field, with the control tower in the > > middle. One day the tower received a call from an aircraft asking, "What time > > is it?" > > > > The tower responded, "Who is calling?" The aircraft replied, "What difference > > does it make?" > > > > The tower replied "It makes a lot of difference. > > > > If it is an American Airlines flight, it is 3 o'clock. > > If it is an Air Force plane, it is 1500 hours. > > If it is a Navy aircraft, it is 6 bells. > > If it is an Army aircraft, the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand is > > on the 3. > > If it is a Marine Corps aircraft, it's Thursday afternoon and 120 minutes to > > "Happy Hour." > > > > ********************* > > > > During training exercises, the lieutenant who was driving down a muddy back > > road encountered another car stuck in the mud with a red-faced colonel at the > > wheel. "Your jeep stuck, sir?" asked the lieutenant as he pulled alongside. > > > > "Nope," replied the colonel, coming over and handing him the keys, "Yours > > is." > > > > **************************** > > > > Having just moved into his new office, a pompous, new colonel was sitting at > > his desk when an airman knocked on the door. Conscious of his new position, > > the colonel quickly picked up the phone, told the airman to enter, then said > > into the phone, "Yes, General, I'll be seeing him this afternoon and I'll > > pass along your message. In the meantime, thank you for your good wishes, > > sir." > > > > Feeling as though he had sufficiently impressed the young enlisted man, he > > asked, "What do you want?" > > > > "Nothing important, sir," the airman replied, "I'm just here to hook up your > > telephone." > > > > ********************** > > > > Officer: "Soldier, do you have change for a dollar?" > > Soldier: "Sure, buddy." > > Officer: "That's no way to address an officer! Now let's try it again!" > > Officer: "Soldier. Do you have change for a dollar?" > > Soldier: "No, SIR!" > > > > ******************************** > > > > Q: How do you know if there is a fighter pilot at your party? > > A: He'll tell you. > > > > Q: What's the difference between God and fighter pilots > > A: God doesn't think he's a fighter pilot. > > > > Q: What's the difference between a fighter pilot and a jet engine? > > A: A jet engine stops whining when the plane shuts down. > > > > **************************** > > > > An Air Force Chief Master Sargent and a General were sitting in the > > barbershop. They were both just getting finished with their shaves, when the > > barbers reached for some after-shave to slap on their faces. > > > > The General shouted, "Hey, don't put that stuff on me! My wife will think > > I've been in a whorehouse!" > > > > The Chief turned to his barber and said, "Go ahead and put it on. My wife > > doesn't know what the inside of a whorehouse smells like." > > > > **************************** > > > > "Well," snarled the tough old Navy Chief to the bewildered Seaman. "I suppose > > after you get discharged from the Navy, you'll just be waiting for me to die > > so you can come and piss on my grave." > > > > "Not me, Chief!" the Seaman replied. "Once I get out of the Navy, I'm never > > going to stand in line again!"
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