News from a chaplain in Iraq

[SuperScout]

9 July 2005

To All,

Everyone complains that all you get on the evening news is the bad news. We hear this complaint a lot here. In the midst of the death and destruction here in Iraq, some good is being done. Schools are being built, infrastructure is being repaired, a civil government of sorts is being set up, and parts of the country are peaceful. Yet, all you hear about is the bad news; the deaths, the suicide bombings, the chaos.

I haven't sent a weekly update in at least a couple of weeks maybe three. Mainly because there wasn't anything to report, at least that is what I thought. But in truth, there was something to report. We worship every Sunday; we take a retreat to visit the monastery in FOB Marez every Sunday, I have three "Purpose Driven Life" groups going through out the week, a "Basics of the Bible" study taught by Michael, my assistant. Two times a week, I go down to our combat stress element to teach a two hour block of instruction on spiritual fitness. Our combat stress people run what is called a "restoration program" in which soldiers are taken out of their unit for two nights of relaxation, stress classes and counseling. I am really impressed with the program
and am delighted that they have allowed me to be a part of it. They do important work here and are very professional and compassionate. The staff psychologist is overwhelmed with the amount of people he is having to see. I have offered and he will allow me to be on call for him one night a week. No big deal, I am on call any way.

All these things that happen on a normal week are good things, they are the kinds of things we in the helping professions do to keep soldiers focused on their job; making this deployment easier for all. Yet, they did not constitute the kind of thing that I would be motivated to write a weekly update it seems.
Then today, the inevitable call on the radio, two US, litter, urgent. Once again swept into the controlled chaos of the emergency room, once again two very critically injured young American soldiers. One, didn't make it, after much effort by the entire team at the hospital. Yes, the war continues. In the midst of the good news, the bad news keeps happening.

I am reminded of the song "The Dance" by Garth Brooks. "I could have missed the pain, but then I would have missed the dance". Here in Iraq the pain is all around, but in the middle of it all is the dance. Part of my spiritual fitness class is to help soldiers see the dance in the midst of the pain they feel, and to let them know that life is good and bad in almost equal proportion; and to enjoy the good, you will also experience the pain. Yes, we do focus on the bad sometimes. But remember, the next time you hear about all the bad going on, somewhere, there is a dance.

God Bless You,
Thank you for your continued prayers,

Pastor Gary

[While too often we read of stories of our warriors and all their wondrous exploits, we don't hear of those behind the lines guys who really support and help our warriors. They have a story that needs telling as well. Scouts Out!!]

[SuperScout]

[Thisis another letter from Pastor Gary, a Lutheran chaplain serving in Iraq, a Texan, BTW!]

Friends,

ANOTHER UPDATE FROM LUTHERAN PASTOR GARY GOODSON, Chaplain US ARMY serving in Mosul. Iraq. . . .


To All,

I have been negligent about my weekly updates. I apologize for that. We have any where from three and half to four months left in country. We are already being told to pack up a majority of personal equipment and get ready to put it on mill vans. Every one seems to be dragging there way out of the period of low morale and have begun the final push to the finish line. On top of that there is a continued lull in our hospital at least. There is a trickle of casualties coming through, including some Americans. There are long periods of not much to do to. Boredom sets in. I think that is where I am.
We had two American deaths a week ago. Both were brought into the ER, but it was evident that they were already gone. In both cases, their unit Chaplain was on hand so I let them to the ministry to while I directed from the sidelines. Even though I was a bit detached from both, I can not help but be affected by the grief and sadness the wash over the soldiers, the Docs, the medics that strive mightily to save a life. In one case, a unit medic was badly injured, but all he was concerned about was how his buddy was doing. You see, he was injured helping the soldier who had just died. We allowed the radiologist to take him get a CT scan, while we readied his Chaplain and fellow soldiers to break the news to him. It was heart breaking.
I was asked to do another debrief with the emergency room personal who were having a tough week. In addition to the two Americans who had died, we had another come in a day or two before, badly injured by an IED, who lost his leg. These are things you just don't normally see, and the sight of these things will stay with you for a life time. All of us have differing ways of dealing with what we see and experience. Some pack it away in the inner recesses of their minds so that they can continue to work. Some need to talk about it and make sense of it. I saw a number of reactions as we sat in a circle sharing our feelings. These young people who we have sent away to war will have much to deal with when they get home.
For me, I continue to go over these things in my mind. Pictures keep coming up of things I have seen. It will always be that way I guess. A month or so ago, I watched as our skilled surgeons operated on another American who lost his leg. I remember clearly, the Operating Room Technician, taking the leg and putting it in a red bad. Unforgettable! I continue to pray for an end to the carnage, I don't know if God is hearing, I hope so.
I got some bad news this week. A person I have gotten close to is having to leave due to a medical condition. Her name is Machin and she is a medic in the Emergency Room. What began as a counseling relationship, blossomed into a close friendship.
I have developed a few close friends here. Michael, my Chaplain's assistant who over the past couple of months I have developed a close bond. Tim McKinnon, our Psych nurse, I knew back when we were doing week end drills in San Antonio. I got Tim a job at our worship service changing slides on the computer during the praise portion of our worship service. He has been to every worship service since February. He was reluctant at first to come to communion. Finally at Easter, he joined us at the Lord's Table. Tim is a good man. Robert Franklin, an intensive care nurse, who has a very dry wit. I am finding that these friendships become a real life line. I don't have a home and family to come home to here. But a do have a group of trusted friends who I will never forget. We have shared and are sharing a unique experience; serving our country, saving lives. We have seen hurt and pain and suffering and blood, enough to last us a life time. And we all hope that our efforts will pay off in a free Iraq.

None though are as close as Machin. We would sit for hours at the Turkish Restaurant drinking coffee, or up on our veranda just talking
and smoking cigars. Machin was reluctant to come to church at first.
The first time she came, she sat in the back. Mostly now she sits toward the front, the second row; very unlutheran of her. She has also attended Bible Studies and my "Purpose Driven Life" groups. Machin has an awakening faith, and I pray that God will continue to strengthen her as she continues her journey. She is a very dedicated medic who cares deeply for the soldiers she treats and is deeply affected by the suffering she has seen. She is very hurt that she will not be able to complete the mission with the rest of us. I will miss her. She has said she will come down to Yoakum and visit us some Sunday. I look forward to introducing her to the congregation. She is one of the best we have sent off to war. A great soldier and a true hero.
The end is near. I look forward to returning to my life in Yoakum. I miss Maxine, I miss my children.

God Bless all of you

Pastor Gary

[SuperScout]

Here's another letter/update from Pastor Gary Goodson, a Lutheran Army chaplain stationed in Mosul, Iraq.

Bob


To all,

As I was sitting down to write this weekly update, I got a knock on my door. It was a soldier who I particularly enjoy, his name is Watson. Watson works for our S6, the staff section dealing with communications and computers. Watson has a long history in the army; I believe his was infantry in the first gulf war before going into the reserves and retraining in the signal corp. Watson is a rough kind of a guy; he cusses easily and often, dips smokeless tobacco and carries around a Squad Automatic Weapon, the biggest weapon they will allow folks in a medical unit to carry. Watson knows how to use it too. The thing you need to know about Watson is he is a hard worker, I mean, a very hard worker. Stringing wires, running down breaks in the wire, repairing radios, he is always working. In real life he runs a small ranch, running a small herd of cattle. I am sure he works just as hard at that. I have managed to get Watson in church a couple of times. He seems a bit uncomfortable. Not because it's a church, but I think because he worries that he should be working. I like Watson, I wish I had about ten of him at Holy Cross, imagine what could get done. Another thing you need to know about Watson, absolutely trustworthy. I would trust Watson with my life.

When Watson came back from R&R, he shared with my assistant Michael and myself that when he returned from this deployment, he would ask this certain young lady to marry him. Tonight, he stopped by my trailer to share with me that he had asked her mother if he could marry his daughter; mother said yes, and immediately called her daughter. I guess there are no secrets between a mother and daughter. Anyway, Watson's carefully laid plans to ask her when he got home were in tatters, so he called her and asked her tonight. She said yes.

Watson came to my trailer tonight to tell me the news. He had the biggest smile on his face you could imagine. He took me to his work area and showed me a picture of her; he is a lucky guy, and she is a very lucky young lady. I feel humbled that he went out of his way to give me the news. I reflect on the situation we are all thrown in here; and the close relationships that can develop. I have met so many unique people over the past several months; a continuing gift from God that will forever change me. I was going to write about something else in this update, but I just had to share with you some of Watson's joy. He is truly a joy to be around and now he will spend the next three months with this huge smile on his face.

The lull continues, at least in this part of Iraq. Today, we got a little girl in the Emergency Room who was hit by a Stryker, a rather large vehicle. Thankfully, only a few cuts and bruises. One of our nurses was stitching her up while explaining to her mother through a translator what she needed to do when they got home. The soldiers who were in the Stryker were all standing around the little girl's bed, thankful that she is all right. No one wants to see the innocent get hurt in this war. A happy ending to a sad encounter.

Take care and God Bless!

Pastor Gary

P.S. The other night we got a call that some casualties were coming in. As we approached the hospital, we saw three body bags on litters. As it turns out they were three insurgents caught in an ambush . . . they were trying to blow up an Iraqi police vehicle. One of the body bags was opened. I peered in at an insurgent shot several times in the chest and midsection. I was surprised how dispassionate I was. No emotion, no turning away from the blood and gore. No acknowledgement that this was once a living, breathing human being. I fear the blood and the gore is becoming to common place. Or maybe I am losing my compassion. Yes, this was an insurgent, he was also a human being; but I felt nothing for him, nothing.

[Keith_Hixson]

When I was working as a civilian medic. I remember how you eventually became disengaged from the scenes around you. Blood and Gore everywhere but not much emotion inside. It became a job, the thrill was gone. We told jokes and talked about sports or the weather. Yet, I believe this made us better medics because we could think more clearly.
We always had compassion but the sights and sounds of multiple injuries just didn't get you excited anymore.
I believe the Chaplain still has compassion but the sights and sounds of war have left him numb.

Keith