"Signs Your Cat Is Planning To Kill You"

[MORTARDUDE]

"Signs Your Cat Is Planning To Kill You"

1. Seems mighty chummy with the dog all of a sudden.

2. He actually *does* have your tongue.

3. You find a stash of "Feline Of Fortune" magazines behind the couch.

4. You wake up to find a bird's head in your bed.

5. As the wind blows over the grassy knoll in downtown Dallas, you get a faint whiff of catnip.

6. Droppings in litter box spell out "REDRUM."

7. You catch him with a new Mohawk, looking in the mirror, saying, "Mew talking to me? Mew talking to me?"

8. You find blueprints for a Rube Goldberg device that starts with a mouse chased into a hole and ends with flaming oil dumped on your bed.

9. Has taken a sudden interest in the wood chipper.

10. Ball of yarn playfully tied into a hangman's noose.