Vn

[39mto39g]

I got home this morning from work and went to the store and got a 12 pack of MGD. Last night I ran into a guy from the 25 Inf. Div. when we were making our National night out rounds. He started talking about the time he was there and what he had done. I told my crew to get on the truck we were leaving. When we left they asked me why, I told them that he was talking about VN and I wanted to sleep that night not have dreams.
Well the night came and the dreams started. I was standing in front of the wall in D.C. and the guys behind the wall were asking me why they were there. I didn't have an answer for them.
This might be the 8 beers that I drank, but, I know in my mind and in my heart, that not one of those names on the wall are there because of something I did.
I called in arty on time and on target, I called for mortars as soon as possible, I directed Gun ships, I got us re-supply when we needed it, and medivac, I fired and fired and fired, but they still went home in those damn black bags.
This is most likely the beer talking, I'll come back later and delete this.

Ron

We must all remember-always-those who went home in bags.But never forget those who DIDN'T because you were there.Ain't no super-heros here or anywhere else.The very best a man can do is play the cards we're delt the best we can.It is right to remember the dead.We must also think of the children and grandchildren that exist today because you were there and willing to take a stand and do the best you could.Thank you.

[chilidog]

Ron,
Don't delete it. Leave it here please.

Chilidog

[MORTARDUDE]

Ron :

We all die...eventually. I, as well as many others, went over there completely against their will, but did the best they could do under the circumstances. ALL of us on here did the best we could do. I have dreams too. I am sure most of us always will. You just have to let some of it go. Just let it go. Going to the Vet-Center helped me a lot. My good buddy, Reese from Vietnam, is driving here from Nashville on Saturday. I can't wait. We will get blind-stinking--drunk together, maybe quite early in the day, and remember the good-times, the bad-times, the survivors, the dead, and going home, and catch up on the past 34 years of our lives.......I hope this helps. You can always call me at 901.386.7244
anytime...

Peace brother,

Larry

[Stick]

Don't delete it Ron. Two names on that wall are there because I didn't do what I knew I should do but was ordered not to do. I watched those two men blow up. All I had to do was pull the trigger. I've watched that scene a million times in my dreams. The other day VN took two more days from me and my family after a network news program at dinner time asked the question "what's it like to kill a man?" The answer to that question haunts me. When I finally did pull a trigger I had to answer to the unit SOG why I fired the M-60 and spent so many rounds. After I pulled that trigger the guy that was shooting at me didn't shoot back. If I didn't pull that trigger my name would be on that black stone. Vet center isn't an option since I can't drive anymore. PF's is my Vet center. Glad that it's yours too. Don't delete it. Welcome home.

[Bill Farnie]

Ron, I don't see any reason to delete your post. I guess that most of us have had dreams of Nam. Who knows what might trigger them. PTSD I guess. They will come and nothing in the world can stop them but with help from the Vet Center group leaders I've learned to live and deal with them. Welcome home bro.

Bill

[39mto39g]

Which one of you guys drank all my beer?
I can't delete, Dave thing I guess.
Anyway, thanks for the words, I very seldom get like that, but when I do, It takes a few beers and someone to vent to, The wife was with her mother and the Kid is in Colorado with her aunt for a week. So Patriot files got elected.
Least I wasn't driving around in the Mad Mango.

Ron

[SEATJERKER]

...The names on the wall are your most complelling reason not to delete any PTSD post, it opens up the hearts, and minds of those that are not afflicted with the stress disorder,...

..."Rescue me" starring Dennis Leary was on last night on FX and the show is actually an eye opener also, It covers firefighters post 9/11 in New York, and the truma's associated with PTSD, alchoholism, etc,...

...You are not alone, and opening up, beer, or no beer, lets you get some of it out, and deal with it, that's what this family is about,...

...My first of the month passed by unevenly as clockwork, but here is where I know I have back up,...

...penting it all in for so many years as we've all done is part/most of the problem , get it out, let it out, beat the f*%k out of it when it's out, and put it in it's place, like Fred says, "strangle it, and never give up the fight,...

...In 4 months, It will be 25 years for me, and still no vindication, it almost ate me up to the point of no return, but with friends here, there is light at the end of the tunnel, and it ain't the freight train,...

...

[grunt66]

Don't delete it 39 . Sometimes those old thoughts/memories come back hard and leave us shook up . Write it down when it does , it helps .

[Andy]

Ron,
One of my re-occurring ones goes like this. I?m in a two man position but all alone. The ground in front of us is all freshly plowed. Then the ground starts shaking, vibrating and the soil seems to fall away. In front of me in the field are now dozens of those metal military coffins, they seem to have all risen 6 feet. All the lid?s open and everyone rears their head. (Even the one?s who didn?t have a head the last time I saw them.) They all look at me and in unison ask, ?Why?. A few of them usually ask, ?Why aren?t you here??
At that point I?m usually standing next to the bed, get sort of afraid to go back to sleep.
Ron, really have empathy for you, however, Don?t mean nothing?, not a thing. When your fear is confined to your dreams, your not that bad off.

Stay healthy in all ways,
Andy