Holidays-Depression or Old Age?

[Boats]

Ever notice how depressing the holidays are getting the older we get? My wife says that to me every now and then. I had to drop back and reflect on this as I wasn't sure how this happened?

Now that I've had some time to reflect on that statement. I find that I'm looking over my shoulder and what I see is that most of the old family is gone and I miss being with them.

Many Suns have come and gone and I like many others don't know how many more I will see before I fade away into the landscape.

I think about the accomplishments and missed opportunities in my life and how I wish I could have changed some of the things that I've done.

Reflection - they say is good for the soul but I find that I get depressed when thinking about the past. Today I have my wife thank God - and my kids and grandkids. I give thanks for that for there are many who weren't so lucky to have a family.

I think about the poor and the hungry who are still in this world suffering on a daily basis. I think of the sick and of the conflicts of which our country is in. I reflect on the lost souls taken well before their time. I think about what some of them could have become and done to make this a better world.

The Holidays don't have he same meaning any more. Oh I have my moments where I'm up and positive - but its difficult to stay in that corner of my mind. Too many issues of late drag you out and throttle you over and over again - taking you outside that box and making you see the real world and you are overwhelmed by the sorrow of the happenings of the day.

I regret venting my feelings on this - I'm not a humbug I love life and I appreciate the little things more than I did years ago. I'm more sensitive now to others needs and I wonder why I wasn't like that years ago?

My ego is shrinking each year - I find pleasure in being with old friends - but here too they are shrinking away. Is this old age or just plain depression? Do these holidays really make people happy or just cause them to reflect on things gone by?

I appreciate the "patriotfiles" my biggest family is you guys and the honesty one can express here - and to know that many of us will periodically get into this funk.

The past has a tendency to pull you back into it and though you want to go back - you know you can't change anything - because those are shadows of things that were.

Living in the past is living in a world of your own. It's no longer real - just glimpses of those things that for a moment were real and lasting.

Don't worry about me - I'm just fine - I just needed to let a little emotion out and see if I really had the nerve to make it public.
God bless you one and all and thanks for letting me into your family -


__________________