Todays Humor.

[Gimpy]

> > The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supplying a new definition.


Here are this year's winners:


1. *Intaxication*: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

2. *Reintarnation*: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

3. *Bozone*: The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

4. *Foreploy*: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

5. *Cashtration*: The act of buying a house, which renders you financially impotent for an indefinite period.

6. *Giraffiti*: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

7. *Sarchasm*: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

8. *Inoculatte*: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

9. *Hipatitis*: Terminal coolness.

10. *Osteopornosis*: A degenerate disease.. (This one got extra credit.)

11. *Karmageddon*: "It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer".

12. *Decafalon*: The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

13. *Glibido*: All talk and no action.

14. *Dopeler *effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

15. *Arachnoleptic *fit : The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

16. *Beelzebug *: Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and can't be cast out.

17. *Caterpallor *(n.): The color you turn after finding half a grubin the fruit you're eating.

18. *Ignoranus*: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.

[urbsdad6]

Thanks for making my day Gimpy. Too funny!


Doc Urb

[goodnessgracie]

Gimpy:

Thanks for the laugh, good way to start the day. Here's something the same, only different, I hope you enjoy.

Cheers

Gracie



NEW WORDS FOR 2005: Essential additions for the workplace vocabulary

BLAMESTORMING: Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or project failed, and who was responsible.

SEAGULL MANAGER: A manager, who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, then leaves.

ASSMOSIS: The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.

SALMON DAY: The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to screwed and die in the end.

CUBE FARM: An office filled with cubicles

PRAIRIE DOGGING: When someone yells or drops something loudly in a Cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on.

MOUSE POTATO: The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch potato.

SITCOMs: Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What yuppies turn when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home
the kids.

STRESS PUPPY: A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.

SWIPEOUT: An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because the magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.

XEROX SUBSIDY: Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one's workplace.

IRRITAINMENT: Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying but you find yourself unable to stop watching them. The J-Lo and Ben wedding (or
was a prime example.

PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE: The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get to work again.

ADMINISPHERE: The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve. 404: Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message "404
Found," meaning that the requested document could not be located.

GENERICA: Features of the American landscape that are exactly the same no matter where one is, such as fast food joints, strip malls, and subdivisions.

OHNOSECOND: That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake.

WOOFS: Well-Off Older Folks.

[Gimpy]

stuff Gracie!

I find myself using "PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE" ever more frequently these days with all the new technology used in our every day lives.