Shirley Deakins

Patriot of the Month, August 2003



I was born December 10, 1946 in a small town in Northeast Tennessee. This was shortly after my father returned from active duty in WWII and married my mother, his childhood sweetheart. I was the only daughter, the oldest child with two younger brothers. We grew up very poor but very wealthy. I lived in the hills of Western North Carolina until I graduated from high school. I never realized I was poor until I went away to college. The first eighteen years help mold who I am today and made me able to appreciate all life has to offer. Growing up poor, with two brothers, and parents who had the old fashioned double standard for daughters, either makes you tough or you don?t make it at all.

After struggling one semester at college, a mountain girl who had never been more than one hundred miles from home; the world just wasn?t ready for me yet. Staying home was short lived. I found myself living in Washington, DC working for the FBI in 1966. Well, lots of learning took place in those next two and half years. The Vietnam War, peace marches, protests, flower children, the summer of love?it was all in full swing. I was barely 19 years old.

Five years beyond that, back in Tennessee; I meet my husband of today. We have been together for nearly 32 years. Much learning has taken place in those years! Doc, my husband Fred, had recently returned from a tour of duty in Vietnam. The rest is history. We have somehow managed to raise three wonderful children. That is the crowning glory of my life. What an adventure raising kids! As is said, "that which doesn?t kill us makes us stronger". The tragedy of my life was loosing our oldest son in an automobile accident February of 2002. The outpouring of love and compassion from many of you, Doc?s Vet Channel Friends, will never be forgotten.

When we visited with the wonderful folks; Andy, Annette, Tom and Deb last summer and the mobile Wall was in Hampton MA., I came to the stark realization, gazing on that Wall at the thousands of lost lives, the reality of how many mothers (and fathers) have grieved the loss of a child and the toll that war carries.

Three events have shaped my views of war; my father, my husband, and the loss of my son. In no way would I compare my insight to those who have "been there, done that". But I have had the privilege, thru my husband to learn who my father is. The freedoms we enjoy today can be credited to those wonderful souls of wars past.

The future we face lies in their hands and the hands of those who learn from the past. I stand with pride now when out National Anthem is played.

This most recent conflict in Iraq has brought the front line closer for everyone. Lest we decide, that we too, now know first hand what war brings; do not allow anyone to accept that.

Political activity, speaking out, taking issue; this is a strong way to improve awareness. As in my profession, nursing; who knows nursing? Nurses know nursing. Who makes many decisions affecting nursing; non-nurses. Who knows veterans concerns; veterans. Who makes decisions affecting veterans, non-veterans. So as in nursing, veterans carry much power just in shear numbers. Unite; support each other and what you know is right.

In my work, I now take care of my nursing staff; this in turn helps them take care of patients. The people I work with give me much more than I feel I ever give them. I am privileged to have their dedication, loyalty and trust. Oncology patients give their nurses much more than we ever give the patient. People with catastrophic events have a knack for putting things in perspective, making the most of life and smelling the roses along the way. This patients teach the oncology nurse. Again, I compare nursing to veterans. Veterans have a story only they can tell. Only by making others aware, can ideas grow.

My message to you, the veterans of wars past and unfortunately future; know your worth. Speak up for who you are. Know that you can make a difference in someone?s life. If we can say that at the end of the journey, we have fought a good fight.

Shirley Deakins